The Princess Reports

Questions

2012-01-02T21:50:00.000-06:00

Hello lovelies

I haven't had the heart to delete my profile from the online dating site yet...not sure if I'm keeping it for the entertainment or just bc "what if?" Either way...I have a couple questions I wanted to ask you guys...

Should I date this man?

Why is this man in his UNDERWEAR??

I am honestly baffled by this and embarrassed for this guy. Also, if you could pick any pair of undies to be photographed in for a photo you were going to use on a dating website, which ones would you choose? I mean REALLY?

Moving on...

Message:

Hello beautiful my name is Xxxx. Your profile was
truly interesting and I am eager to learn more.
I am looking for a new friend to pamper and converse
with, to take out on dates and see how we can excel.
I am an adventerous man and looking for a $exy
companion. Hopefully we can converse more live
and direct. Anyways my number is 651-xxx-xxxx hope to
hear from you soon. Peace and Love until then I'm
back in the wind........
Do you think $exy means the same thing as regular "sexy" but someone who is also rich? Like Ke$ha? I don't get it...

So if you have answers to these questions, please let me know :P

Online dating update

2011-12-15T21:29:00.000-06:00

Good evening lovelies.

Here is my early Christmas gift to you all: a new blog :) In the midst of this holiday season, I've been fortunate to see people that I either a) have not seen in a long time, or b) just don't see very often and between these two groups of people, one thing is clear. Y'all only want to know one thing about me: How is the online dating going??

Well....here's some new messages that I've received recently...

Message 1
Hi, I'm sorry, it's tough reaching out, you're probably wrong to contact. I'm really sorry I'm contacting you because others let me
down. I'd hoped to have more fun with parties because I'm very enterprising with musical instruments, or journalism, but it's
usually for fun and stuff. I get really let down by having to reach out, you know, but it feels unreciprocated. I hope having fun
stuff doesn't interfere with meeting, or with introductions, and other scheduling issues. I'd set stuff aside for a while, but it didn't
change much. A while ago I was watching a lot of movies. I'd transferred colleges.

Umm sir? This is a dating website. You hit the button to message a GIRL. This isn't deardiary.com. So aside from the fact that once again, this is a non-native English speaker...he still uses the phrase "I'm sorry" to start the first two sentences. It's sad when you haven't even talked to someone yet and you're already apologizing. I don't know why he's so sorry. How could a person be so sad when they are "very enterprising with musical instruments" and "journalism" (for some reason, for me that conjurs up an image of a dude at a party with typewriter....weird). I like how the last two sentences sound the opening monologue to an emo-lifetime movie they would show on MTV. If you thought this couldn't get any better...haha ok, ok, you knew it could ;) Here's a snippet from his profile:

I'm into being creative. I'm a creative type. Creativity is just really important. Being creative really matters. Hobbies should be dull and productive. Goals should be more private. You possibly don't know yourself that well. Music is just noise. I enjoy cooking, the outdoors, and so forth. I feel I can be a good role model. I feel I will be more successful, in the future. I also enjoy movies, music, and other stuff.

2 things (because I'm limiting myself to 2): 1. How does he know whether or not I know myself that well?? 2. Music is noise....that he 'enjoys'? (I'm Ron Burgandy?) Ohhh wait for it...wait for it...this the what he has in the first date section:

It's important to understand people. Having fun's just what? Being boring is important. Lightening up helps.

He makes so much sense. That's exactly how I feel about having fun too. It's soooo..."just what?"

We interupt your regularly scheduled blog programming to bring you a list of usernames that Sarah would never date:

asian_dragon

(I have a 5'10" high requirement...guess how tall this guy is? Yes, yes, I know I'm only 5'0", we're looking out for the height of my future children people. I just want them to have a chance at being tall. A CHANCE! For crying out loud!)

thecambodianprince

same issue with this one...

passionatewonders

Does this say manly man to you? Also his picture is sideways...fb friends may remember a post with a message he sent me...

chicoxxxx

Synonyms for "small" should not be used...

polarisguyxx

self explanatory

Bildoexx

Rhymes with ----

mydogisbicurious

Uhhh yeah....

Back to our regularly scheduled programming

Message 2
I am stay at the Eagan - holiday inn. I am here for work all the time. I am in sales for nb Corp out of Chicago. No this not a hook up message. I am interested in finding a connection and taking things slow. Maybe dinner and or drinks. My name is Xxxx if your interested. What is your number, texting is a lot easier for me. Well hopefully talk you tomorrow.

This is NOT a hook up message. I repeat, this is NOT a hook up message...except that the first sentence references a hotel and the fact that you don't live here!! Give me a break here buddy. I see right through you and your pictures that are all you without a shirt on. You should sell those muscles to a porn site...you'd have more luck at the Holiday Inn that way. And those ladies will overlook the fact that you don't know proper grammar.

Message 3
Hey, is Canada too far?

Yes it is.

Message 4
wow you are beautiful to me. i would love to get to know you. how in the world are you single??

Pshhhh buddy, I ask myself that EVERY DAY!! bahaha I kid. I kid. This made me laugh...a lot.

So to be serious for a moment, I wanted to share some interesting things that have happened to me with this whole online dating nonsense.

1. An old friend (male) had me look at his own online dating profile and asked me for advice. (All I could think was, if this becomes a trend, I am CHARGING!)

2. I found two WBL grads on the site, only one of which admitted it. The other (who wasn't actually a friend of mine in high school) has yet to respond to my message asking if he's from WBL...

3. I got stood up. Well kind of. No no, I wasn't sitting at a bar alone with my whiskey-seven, twirling my hair and updating my fb on my phone. I would call it a mis-communication, except he never came back with an excuse for missing the date.

4. I actually tried to plan 3 dates (with 3 different people) in 3 days...only one of which actually happened (stood up once, got cancelled on and rescheduled another). I felt like that was the universe telling me that sort of behavoir is not allowed.

So now you may be wondering (or maybe you don't care at all and just want to me to keep rolling with my funny messages), are any of these working out? Have I met anyone nice?

To be honest, all the guys who actually made it through the messaging and were "lucky enough" [sarcasm] to meet me in person have all been really nice, normal guys. And really, whenever the date ended without me being chopped into little pieces, I considered that a success of sorts. Because in the end, I wasn't really expecting to meet someone this way. I was using online dating more as a hobby than as a train ticket to board the Love Express. Some people choose yoga or broomball...I chose to peruse profiles and disect messages and then share it with you lovely people.

That said, I hope you'll forgive me for what I'm about to say next. I decided this whole online dating thing isn't for me :\ I would detail the reasoning behind this but it's not really funny or mind blowing so I'll save you from that rambling. The bottom line is, if I'm going to go out with someone, under the expectation that it's a "date," then I would prefer to know already that I like them. Because then I'll know that the 20 minutes I spent curling my hair was worth it (I know I know, cry me a river Ms. high maintenance). And I won't feel bad when they pay for everything and I end up having a less than stellar time.

So what's my plan now? Well, I'm looking for any winter sports that don't require purchasing a large amount of equipment, a book club, or a year round pumpkin patch. Those all sound like reasonable places to meet someone, don't they? ;)

Until next time lovies, Osterbauer-OUT!

Oh and one last thing, can you guess whose tattoo this is??

Messaging 101:Lesson Brought to you by Sarah

2011-11-24T09:50:00.001-06:00

Happy holiday weekend lovelies!
I decided that since I still have yet to experience any kind of nightmare date (knock on wood), I'll keep the magic going with some more messaging fun for you guys. I have discovered that there are only a few different kinds of online dating messages and they are illustrated for you here, with examples of course ;)

Type 1: I-just-like-your-picture-did-not-come-close-to-reading-your-profile-message

I understand, boys will be boys and when they see a pretty girl, they lose all sense of logic and just go for it. While I appreciate this enthusiam and the compliment, I'm not looking for just another pretty face, so why would I choose someone who is?

Example A:
Hey!! How r u doing today gorgeous??

This man's one and only photo is the dreaded phone bathroom shot. Not only that but he looks confused in the picture, like he cannot figure out how to smile for the photo and yet still see himself in the camera. It's sad really.

Example B:You're absolutely beautiful. How was your week? Big plans for today?

This guy does not have a picture. Nuf' said.

Example C:
__ ,.
,-,(c ';')_))
'//(__=3((---|>
' L L )). Struck by your beauty lol

Hahaha oh man...LOL is right!

Getting closer...Type 2: The profile one liner

This guy read your profile...or at least the first sentence and wants to show you he is interested in you, but only with minimal effort. These are tricky because they can go from sounding cute/sincere to creepy real fast. Men should be careful with these messages...if you say it out loud and it sounds creepy, then it probably is. Try again.

Example A:
salt, yes, but kosher salt better. Thoughts?

You should know one of my "interests" is salt (side note: why do I get the feeling that the more I share about my own profile, the more I look like some kind of a weirdo?...anyways....moving on..). E for effort...I think I might have been more compelled to write back if he mentioned Himilayan pink salt. Update: Upon encouragement from a friend who saw this guy's profile and decided he was "perfect for [me]" I was forced to respond to this guy...we'll see what happens.

Example B:
We should get together and play guitar sometime. =o)

He's making a kiss face in his picture. This has creeper potential except that the picture throws it off and makes it goofy. Regardless of message, I generally will always check out the profile of the person. With the goofy picture and the emoticon, I was def surprised to find this on his profile:

Lastly, some of you [women] are unbelievably rude and hostile. You really need to take a good look in the mirror, both literally and figuratively, because you're not quite the catches you think you are. A lot of average or less than average people on here think they're deserving of perfect people. But I don't care how physically attractive you are either, your bad attitude make you look pretty ugly.

Also, if you don't like certain things, you don't need to insult someone who isn't that. It only shows how insecure and screwed up you are and why you aren't able to find someone.

Insecure and screwed up you say? Hmmm I think I might know why YOU are having trouble finding someone...jus' sayin.

Example C
I can make you laugh

Ok so my "tag line" says, "looking for someone to make me laugh". And I did respond to this one but he wrote back requesting "more pictures". Delete message and byeeee.

Type 3: The manufactured message, universal, sent to everyone....

Example A1
Nice profile, you sound like a rockstar. Looks like you are one positive person who has got her life together. What are some of the things you look for in a person? For me, life is about taking risks, meeting new people and setting goals that are attainable for myselves.

When my friends and I go fishing, they want to catch a Mermaid. Me, I’m just hoping that I’ll catch a fish that has gold fins. You don’t have to be prefect in everyone’s in my eyes. You just have to brighten up my world...

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take. But by the moments that take our breaths away. -Rev. Ronald McDodden

Example A2
Wow.. Your pretty detailed in stating what type of person you are. Sounds like you have great self-confidence and know where you are going in life. I like that,(a person with a passion for living… MN Twins are ok, LOL).

For me, life is about taking risks, remember the sadness in our past, hoping that the best is yet to come and always setting goals that are attainable for ourselves.

When my friends go fishing, they want to catch a Mermaid. Me, I’m just hoping that I’ll catch a fish with golden fins. You don’t have to be prefect in everyone’s in my eyes. You just have to brighten up my world. I believe that when two people are compatible with each other. Both individuals morph into what will make a relationship work...

Dinner or coffee on a first date?

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take. But by the moments that take our breaths away.
-Rev. Ronald McDodden

So I love that this guy at least changes the first paragraph to cater to the individual, however, he clearly is not paying attention to who he's sending these messages to (or at least I hope he's not?). Cause the whole speil about the mermaid is not a bedtime story I needed to hear more than once.

Example B
Hi I just read your profile which piqued my interest in a few areas so I thought I'd send a quick feeler out on the odd chance your real and or really lookin. I'm Xxxx from [City], a pretty straight to the point guy that's not lookin to bs and/or waste your time. I saw your profile and it caught my interest (maybe you'll feel the same). A lil bout myself, I'm 32, 6'2" dark brown hair, hazel green eyes, very athletic, nice smile, laid back but can be competitive, fun seeking guy that loves to ride motorcycle and stay active/workout among a bunch of other stuff. If your interested just hit me up, I look forward to chatting....
Ok so I realize to the untrained eye this might seem like a nice normal message. However, notice how nothing is about me? Only about him. That's bc he has this stored somewhere to send to any girl who peaks his interest. While the efficiency is commendable, girls want to feel special, and manufactured messages do the opposite of that. Also, I find it comical that he describes himself as having a "nice smile". I don't write messages to guys that say "I'm pretty" or "I have great boobs" because I realize whether or not I think that's true, it's in the eye of the beholder. Another one I love, "I have a great body"...ok handsome, we'll see about that :P

Type 4: The quirky and weird

Example A
You have an amazing smile. Can you describe what romance means to you in the 21st century?

Is this a test? Cause it feels like a test....

Random Grammatical Error message
Hi are you Beautiful? I have looked at your pic and profile and enjoyed what I say and read. You seem like a real as woman who needs a real as man. Well search nomore. I would love to get to know you and hopefully be with you in the future. I play no games,I hate liars and cheaters. I am a Southern brother so my valuses are different then the north.. get back with me only if you are serious

I don't know? Am I beautiful? Do you think he actually thinks "ass" is spelled "a-s"? What is a valus? Oh I'm serious buddy....serious about grammar and punctuation!

Type 5: The Obscene and Strange

Example A)
Hii, my name is Xxxx and i'm new in the USA, i kinda like your profile
usually i dont date women younger then 32, because i like the older look and i think
it is very sexy, but in your case, you look older then your real age around 31-33
(maybe cuz you smoke?) i love the old look !!!!! and i would love to know if you also
have good personality other then your mature look. i like asian food- rice and dogs meat (its
hard to find in america) what r u doing in your life?

So let me get this straight, this guy thinks I look old (for the record I'm 28 and it says that on my profile). And that I possibly smoke, even though my profile clearly says that I do not. Not to mention the kicker, HE EATS DOGS??! I kind of feel like this is some kind of tasteless Korean joke someone is playing on me...cause here's what his profile says:

i love good food and all kind of meat, i eat all kind of meat, i like to eat dogs yes i saw that in america dogs
is like a human but for me its not pet it i s a food i love to eat dogs.
so if you are veggi, please dont waste my time.

I'm suddenly at a loss for words here...Oh and I should mention under "Interests" he has "nothing" listed and in the "First Date" section it says simply "no dates"...because he eats dogs....and I'm guessing he's on the site searching for his next meal, not a girlfriend.

And the one you've all been waiting for...

Example B)
Hey looking sexy : ) wanted to ask you if its a myth or true that girls under 5'5 are much tighter ? : ) im Mark btw .... dont be shy about it : )

I don't even really know where to begin with what's wrong with this message. A) What kind of girl would actually answer this question? B) How the *^%$ would I even know that?? Because as a straight girl obvs I have been trolling around measuring vjjs and have been dying to share my findings with a pig such as him. This guy's interests include but are not limited to: making $$$, girls with accents and partying NYC style. He also has a foot fetish and "gets along wit every1". Yeah I bet. Barf. Excuse me now I have to go take a shower....ewww

And with that lovelies, I leave you with this hilarious picture of a one of the guys that wants to "meet me". If that shirt doesn't get him a girlfriend, I don't know what will!

Online Dating, Step 1: the Messaging

2011-11-11T22:24:00.000-06:00

I know you're all anxiously awaiting what will surely be my first disaster date story with one of these weirdos. Unfortunately (fortunately?) I'm still in the early stages of this monster and all I have for now are some really amazing (read= awful) messages I've been getting.

It may or may not be important to know, the site that I'm on allows people to do the following to let you know they're interested. You can select someone as your "favorite", you can let them know you want to "meet them", you can send them a message which can include a "gift" (read=clip art photo of a necklace) or a "rose" (why the rose is separate from the gift, I have no clue) or you can try to chat them. I ignore all chat requests cause it's weird and feels really aggressive to me.

And with that, I give you the "best of the best" :)

Message 1:
Subj: you seem...
Body: ...like you'd be a girl with confidence. Maybe you like a man who feels comfortable at a party where they don't know anyone because you are outgoing and want a man who is the same? :) Hmm.. [my username] I wonder if there's chemistry.. When you like a guy what do you crave more, romance, or passion?

Can you imagine if someone asked you that in person? "What do you crave more, romance or passion?? Sounds like a line from a commerical for chocolate or vodka. I really wanted to give this guy benefit of the doubt that this was a joke and he isn't really this corny and weird but then I found this on his profile:

The sweet, beautiful voice of a feminine woman is something that always makes my heart skip a beat.

Other winning points for this guy, his user name has "Stud" in it which really no one should use. Cause you're either a) not actually a "stud" and now you look silly or b)you are a stud and now you look like a douchebag.

Also, the profile picture he uses, when reduced to a thumbnail, is only of his crotch. A jeans covered crotch yes, but crotch just the same. I hope he finds someone with a sweet feminine voice that he loves so much. It would be sad if he fell for a chick with a man voice.

Moving on...

Message 2
Subj: Hi
Body: can i get you number, or something so we can talk, i really like get know you, you very
pritty.
At first, I thought this was a set up by one of my "avid fans" who was playing into my "love" of grammitical errors. But then upon further investigation I discovered, if you look at this guy's profile, it's very clear that he is a non-native English speaker. Still...if you were in another country and posting an online dating profile, wouldn't you have one of your native friends proof read it for you? Also his "About me" has the same sentence repeated 5 times. Yeah, I'm serious. I wish I was kidding. It looks like this (I'm not copying and pasting only cause it's so sad it makes me feel bad):

I like swimming, games, food.
I like swimming, games, food.
I like swimming, games food.

You get the idea. Imagine I wrote that two more times.

Message 3
Subj: Hellooooo
Body:Hi:) How are you?? Just going through all these profiles, pretty much the same old same, but you sounded sweat and wanted to get to know you better.

Funny how one letter makes such a big difference. Once again, PROOF READING. DO ITTTTTT. Not that it would've helped this guy. He looks like a murderer. Ok ok, murderer is harsh. I'll go with creeper. Huge creeper. When I told my friend Emily I would be sure to not let anyone pick me up at my place and park under a light when I meet these dudes, and she said that's what she'll tell Lifetime when they interview her for my movie, this was the guy she was talking about.

Message 4, 5, 6, 7
Subj: Hi
Body: You are very attractive

This toolshed sent this same message 4 times. I understand technical issues but anything beyond 1 duplicate message suggests someone "special". To me. Anyways.

Message 8
Subj: Oh Man!
Body: Takes charge and plans things on a first date? Interesting. So, how would you feel if a
guy even told you something specific to wear?

So obvs my profile says for a first date I'd rather have him plan it. But check this...so here's what this guy's profile says under the "first date" section:

You're going to be told exactly what to wear. That's step number one. Inquire for step number two, please

The rest of it is equally weird/goofy and I honestly think he's just trying to be funny but his humor doesn't translate well on paper. Also, I'm over these idiots who say "I'm going to be honest, I think I'm the funniest guy I know". *I'm* going to be honest, I think you're setting yourself up for failure. Also strange, this guy is from here but now lives in Louisiana. Apparently he's searching for a long distance relationship?

So kids, that's all I got for now. Lots of nonsense to read through. Oh and I should inform you, Mr. C*** master from last week had already said he wanted to "meet me" and then following my blog post I was added to his "favorites". I promptly removed myself from his favorites and then weird, he added me right back in. Lucky me :)

"Adventures" in Online Dating

2011-11-07T22:33:00.000-06:00

Hello lovelies. It is with great joy that I am pleased to re-enter the blog-a-sphere.

As you may or may not know, I have decided to enter the world of online dating. After many requests (many= 3) I decided it's only right to share my experiences with you all. Because what else is a classic over-sharer/attention to whore to do really?

I set up my online profile on Thursday and was immediatly flooded with messages and chat requests. Some guys wanted to chat even before I finished filling out the profile (scary - 1st thought, shouldn't they wait til you finish your profile before they throw you to the wolves?). My profile basically says I love music, food and baseball. My interests included (but were not limited to): MN Twins, Adele, salt, running and Christmas. Here is the picture I used:

Here's a few of the initial messages I got:

1. Subj: you're..., Body: beautiful!! Hope you're having a great night!

ummm ok thanks...

2. Subj: Open in case of EMERGENCY, Body: So you're one of those girls who DOES have a car!

What??

3. Subj: How much does a polar bear weigh? Body: Enough to break the ice!

How many times has that one worked for ya' buddy?

4. Subj: Hi, Body: What are you doing tonight? Wanna grab drinks?

Ummm no. There's this thing I do...it's called making plans IN ADVANCE.

So you get these massages and if they seem alright then you check their profile for further investigation. Here's some profile dealbreakers I realized I have set for myself.

1. If your only picture is one you took yourself, standing in front of the mirror in your bathroom (if you're shirtless that's double bad), with your phone (that I can see in the picture) that's a dealbreaker! How is it that you have NO pictures of yourself, that you like, that were maybe from an occasion where people normally take pictures...a wedding, a night out, a vacation...SOMETHING! It's ok to crop out your ex. Just say no to the pics in the bathroom.

2. If you know me, then you know I'm not real outdoors-ey so my dear friend Emily suggested anyone whose picture is them with a fish is a no-go. (You would not believe how many people that rules out).

3. Here's a big one...and I feel bad because my own brother-in-law would not pass this test but spelling and grammatical errors ruin my impression of an otherwise seemingly nice/normal person. When all you have to judge someone by is a photo and how they look on paper, then these errors count for more than they do in real life with someone you know better.

Real profile examples of this:

GuyA: Ok so of course when I want to exploit him on the internet I cannot find this dude. But he used "there" for "their", "they're" and "there"...all over his "About Me" section.

GuyB: This guy has a masters degree and is a teacher...copied and pasted from his profile -"I can be spontaneous and enjoy making spur of the moment plans, but nothing to crazy like driving to the airport and catching the first thing smoking outta town. (Well maybe)..." Same guy, in his "Interests" where you're supposed to list things he has "Hey" and "What's up". It's very clear when you're filling out the profile that they want you to actually list things you're interested in and they give examples. Teachers should know better than anymore the value of proofreading. I mean, c'mon!

GuyC: This guy is uber good looking...good looking enough that I would've over looked the 1st offense of the bathroom self portrait except then I read his profile and saw this under the 1st date section: "Anything that allows two people to talk and get to no eachother......." I would like to get to know someone...but I'm unsure of how to get to 'no' them?...

4. Talking about sex in your profile is dealbreaker

Example: GuyD: "F.Y.I.,I'm a Cunnilingus Master(dictionary should have its meaning,if you're curious)."

So many things wrong with that I don't even know where to begin. This man also describes himself as"a few extra pounds over weight" and requires that anyone who messages him, sends a "full body picture". Yuck.
So even after filtering through and getting rid of anyone with the above going on, I did actually find a couple people I sent messages to. In my search of these people, I noticed something I thought was funny. Lots of people around here are looking for ADVENTURE!!

Examples:
"I need to go on adventures, you know, locally and, out there where ever life takes you."
Headline -"Adventurous type?? Please apply"
"Looking for fun lovin girl to share my adventures with"

In crafting my message to one of said adventurers I wrote -"what kind of "adventures" are you looking for? I'm pretty much up for anything". I showed this to my friend (because really I should not be unsupervised doing this) who burst out laughing and told me to erase said message because it sounded sexual. Clearly I am going to be awesome at this.

So far the most exciting thing that's happened to me on this online dating site, has been finding a long lost hometown friend (who is not on facebook, imagine that?). That's it for now lovelies but I'll keep the blog rolling here, hopefully with regular updates, because then even if I don't find Mr. Right, at least we'll all have been entertained somewhat. Leave your comments on the blog or on fb. Happy times people. The search for love is on! :P

Idol Rocks with the help of Will.i.am & Gwen

2011-04-06T23:14:00.000-05:00

Hello lovelies! I FINALLY was able to watch Idol in real time thanks to a gifted digital box and the help of my darling brother-in-law to program it for me. Tonight the Idols took on "rock" hits with help from permanent mentor Jimmy Iovine and Will.i.am. Gwen Stefani, though physically nowhere to be seen, lent her fashion expertise to the girls (some wore it better than others...).

First up Jacob. He was going to do "Lets Get It On" but then decided that it didn't fit his "moral profile". Umm ok Jacob. I have nothing against anyone wanting to keep it in their pants until marriage or love or whatever but really, the song could just as easily have been about "getting it on" with a consented signifcant other with whom one could be in love with/married. It didn't have to mean straight screaming promiscuity...(although it probably was)..hence such is the beauty of music. It can mean what you want it to. I also felt that his alternate choice, "Man in the Mirror" seemed trite. In the wake of the tragedy of Japan I felt like he was using the song as an opportunity to congratulate himself more than he actually wanted people to reach out. Not that any effort to inspire people to help should be dissed...but it bears mentioning when the motivation maybe isn't coming from an honest place. His remark that, if he goes home it won't be because he didn't perform well, it'll be because people are afraid to look at themselves in the mirror, felt incredibly condescending to me. I thought his performance was decent but I didn't quite fall all over it like the judges.

Casey also did a song switch when he almost did "Every Little Thing She Does is Magic" but then ended up shoosing Creedence Clearwater Revival's "I Can't Stand the Rain" instead. This switch is Sarah approved because "Magic" has an awkward beat which most contestants tend to get wrong on the show. Not that I doubt Casey's far superior musicianship over any contestant past or present....but sometimes the band has a mind of its own. Better just to avoid that type of mishap all together. Also Jimmy was right...it *did* sound like a conga/rhumba. Loved Mr. I.am telling Casey the combo of the melodic changes plus the finger snapping made it sound loungy. Casey sounded great on Creedence. Randy was right...Casey has single-handedly made playing the upright bass cool. There were moments when he was straining too much but other than that...solid work. Not jumping out of my seat...but good.

Haley decided to give the judges what they've been waiting for and went for the Janis. She did "Piece of My Heart" which has been an Idol favorite, done by many including Crystal Bowersox and Carrie Underwood. Once again I felt that Haley's growls and howls were coming from her head and not her heart which I'm proud to say is the same assessment that Will.i.am gave her. I do think her growling would've been more effective on "Cry Baby" but then it wouldn't have been as good as Allison Iraheta's rendition so the sitch was lose lose for her.

Lauren, despite her unfortunate ensemble of strapless gingham romper paired with jacket which gave her a diaper appearence, blew the roof off "Natural Woman". I would venture to say it was just as good as Kelly's! (Ok so I re-watched Kelly's and I take that back. She hits a Mariah note in her version and that alone puts it at a level above Lauren...but still Lauren's was up there). I say it every time and I'll say it again...her talent is EFFORTLESS. She *could* actually sing the phonebook and it would be a hit.

James gave up the signature run around and Glambert highnote for "While My Guitar Gently Weeps". It was nice to remember what his voice actually sounds like when he's not doing a high pitched glass breaking wail. I appreciated the tenderness for once and you could tell, even sans the waterworks that the feeling he was projecting was genuine.

For Scotty, Elvis was a completely natural transition for him from country to country rock. I loved the way he crooned "That's Alright Mama". He was showing serious swagger owning the scat part in the middle and bringing out the sass in every line. Love that Lo thought he had been picking up his moves from rap videos. Too funny. Jenny from the Block...freals. She can spot an inch of ghetto from a mile away. The girls running up on the stage at the end was overkill..but really..kid killed it.

Pia did yet another Celine Dion number (they called it Tina Turner but you know all she was thinking was Celine, Celine, Celine), "River Deep Mountain High". She looked amazing in the black and white leopard print jumper with the Egyptian inspired neckware. I watched it a second time looking for something wrong with it and I can't find one thing. She was pitch perfect, with the intensity in all the right places. Even though I think her choices are very much calculated...they don't come off as fake as Haley's.

Stefano finally found his place tonight with "When a Man Loves a Woman". He should sing directly to Lo more often :P I loved the extra quiet open and the extra lengthy money note towards the end. This guy was definitely in it to win it tonight. When he finished all I could hear was Lo yelling "baby baby baby!"...I wonder how Marc feels about that?

Last up was Paul who cose "Folsom Prison Blues". Per Jimmy, "Johnny Cash was one of the coolest guys ever". Amen. I love Johnny and I do love Paul...do I love them together? Idk...I felt this was somewhat of an odd choice for Paul. I felt like he did as well as he could've done but it wasn't my favorite by any means. For what is a sort of dark anthem, Paul managed to turn it into a upbeat kind of happy sounding ditty. Not that it didn't sound good, cause it did...but the animal it became just wasn't anything I liked.

So my top 3 are Lauren, Scotty and Pia. My bottom 3 are Paul, Haley and Jacob. I felt like Pia and Stefano really came out fighting tonight and it showed. Casey was maybe overthinking it a bit. Jacob is Jacob...I'm sure he'll be safe but he can hit the road any time. I will not be missing him. Same goes for Haley. If I had to do my picks over again I would've maybe put Lauren in my top spot but who knows...maybe Casey will come back on top next week. That's all for this week Idolers. Osterbauer-OUT!

Motown (sans Philly) Back Again

2011-03-24T23:54:00.000-05:00

Damn the DVR for making me miss week 2 of Idol. I did not want to disappoint and miss yet another week so I stealthly deleted a number of recordings to ensure that nothing would interfere with my viewing of this week's episode. I must say it's weird missing Idol for a week. It makes my life all out of wack and I feel somewhat unlike myself. But then it's week 3 already and I find that my Wed night is yet again full forcing me to watch Idol a day late. And it's Idol's fav week, Motown. Idol has done Motown almost every season. The music fails to age and even as the contestants become younger and younger, most them still claim to have "grown up listening to Motown". And for this season we bring back some Idol stand bys.

Casey picked one of them: "I Heard it Throught the Grapevine"...does anyone but me remember the claymation California Raisins cartoon where this was the theme song? Cause that's all I think of when I hear it...I'm not sure if I should be embarressed about that or not...ahh well...someone convinced Casey that if he wears a suit it should be paired with hair gel. This resulted in Casey becoming the oxy moron that is a bearded sleezeball. Now I love me some Casey....in all his Casey-ness....working the stage, growling at me and what not...but I felt that even his usual growl was a bit strained. The judges hearted it...Styler of course found it to be BEAUTIFUL....bc he thinks everything in life is beautiful.

All of my notes about Thia's performance are about her outfit...I "love love loved" her strapless dress with the satin black sweetheart neckline, empire waist and pink chiffon ruffle bottom. I also want to know where she got the rhinestone heart shaped necklace. Thia will always have a really beautiful tone to her voice...unfortunately she lacks emotion and energy when she sings and everything becomes boring. We knew we were in for it when Jimmy asked the producers, "Can she pull that off live?" umm no. She sounded flat in spots and then I don't know if it was her unique pronounciation or what but I swear she forgot some of the words and mumbled nonsense at one point.

Side note before we get into Jacob's performance. 2 things. I actually really enjoyed Jimmy Iovine's comments tonight. I felt they were specific to the contestants and he was really giving them sound advice. Then I also wondered, is Jimmy (and his scores of notorious producers) the only menors we'll see this season? Cause I'm pretty sure the least they could do would be JLo week and Styler week. C'mon now.

So Jacob picked, "You're All I Need". It was a good choice for him, not that there really was a bad choice for him. Motown is his wheelhouse. Jimmy told him to keep his vocal olympics under control....to make the big moves when it counts and I agreed. I'll admit I really enjoyed Jacob's performance but at the same time I feel like when he jumps from the high falsetto to his lower register that the whole thing becomes like a caricature of a song. At that point it's not about the feeling in the song...it's just about what he can do vocally.

When Lauren nailed the opening line of "You Keep Me Hanging On" I had goosebumps. She was yet again effortlessly in tune and she gave the song a country feel. I believed in her frustration that she was feeling in the song and felt that a lil' sumthin sassy is def her money maker. Styler told her she "ripped that song another beautymark". Well said. Also she is queen of animal print.

Stefano is king of being the dreamiest guy on Idol. It's almost hard for me to write anything about how he sang cause really I just couldn't stop staring at his cute face. But lets face it, Stefano wins the "worst song choice of the night award" for "Hello" a song whose face was rocked off by my other husband, D. Cook. Need a reminder of the epicness? This song is still in regular rotation on my ipod people. It's amazing. It should prob be retired to Idol song Heaven. I like how Stefano said he loved Motown and then picked an 80s song. I did like some of the liberties he took with the phrasing but it wasn't enough to make it good. Lo still loves him but I think he could be in trouble. Unless there are shallow women out there who vote soley on looks...I for one do not know anyone like that....

Haley the sexpot picked "You Really Got a Hold on Me". I like how Jimmy's only comment about Haley was that they worked with her on how to move when she's on stage and who to make eye contact with. She bothers me so much. She growls and oohs and ahhs and I feel like how she chooses when to do that isn't based on feeling...just when she thinks it would sound best. She gets a A for her legs. And an F for life. hahaha ohh sorry Cody.

Scotty Scotty Scotty (oh man...I just did a Randy). Is there person in America that would not like this kid? If he doesn't make it in music he could become a youtube star from making baskets shooting from balconies. Good grief. That shot was sweet. He's def a guy's guy....baseball, basketball...ping pong with the producers. I liked the country vibe he created on "For Once in My Life". It wasn't perfect...but it was close and it was different. He got to hit his "lady killer notes" so all was right with the world.

Pia wears another amazing dress and nails yet another ballad. Her moves seem all very calculated...not in a fake pageanty way but a professional Carrie Underwood way.

Paul did a very James Morrison-y version of "Tracks of My Tears"....another song that a former contestant by the name of Glambert blew out da water. Even though Paul's version was quite different from Adam's so as not to beg for a comparison...it still wasn't as good. I didn't feel like he was connecting with the lyrics at all until closer to the end when the chorus picked up and sounded more angry than upbeat and happy like the beginning.

Oh Naima...I feel like she's almost too much for the show. The homemade fashion...writing her own rhymes...African dance breakdown. She sounded pretty good. But I feel like the other stuff distracts from her performance.

James rocked it out on his performance of "Livin for the City". I agreed with Randy, until the backstep action on the side of the stage, I dont think he was all the way into it. But after that, game on. He is a natural performer and you could tell Jimmy really thought he was something special.

For the most part Motown delivered last night. Even the performances I wasn't such a fan of weren't awful. i think Stefano, Thia and Naima could be in trouble...but then again I have no idea how people did last week or who was bottom 3 even...oh except that they showed Haley in the bottom...not surpised.

Idol does Idols

2011-03-13T20:19:00.000-05:00

Lucky 13. Indeed. Tonight the Idol contestants were given the task of picking a song by their personal Idol. This can be a bit of a daunting task considering people tend to Idolize singers whose songs should generally be avoided on Idol...i.e Mariah, Whitney, Celine. They also got help from Jimmy Iovine and some big name producers.

Lets break it down shall we?

Lauren - (now that other Lauren is [sadly] gone, I'm on a first name basis with all contestants) Idol: Shania Twain, Song: Any Man of Mine. Oh Lauren Lauren...so young so much to learn about song choice. Wasn't she listening to Carrie when she said, "she's up singin some white trash version of Shania karaoke"? Any Man is the song you sing when you're crunk and with a bunch of girls at the VFW. Sorry Shania...but it is. Lauren is cute and sun shiny and fun. But this song, even though she sang it well, didn't do anything for her. And she seemed to lack some of her usual 'zing'. I agreed with the judges that she needed to kick it in high gear. She's got the goods for it.

Casey! - I'm gonna go ahead and give him my coveted Best of the Night award. Casey's Idol is Joe Cocker and he did quite the rousing rendition of "A Little Help From My Friends". Fav Casey quote- "[Joe Cocker] isn't that hot and he inspired that look for me". This song was right in Casey's wheelhouse. I loved the choir walking out on stage. It felt more like a concert than a competition.

Ash-thon. - Welp, she listens to instructions well...they told her to do Diana Ross and she did! Although I highly doubt Miss Ross inspired Ash-thon in anyway other than her hairstyle. She sang "When You Tell Me That You Love Me" slightly off key and with some hollow lower notes. If the contest was for dressing up like your Idol, then she would've won hands down. But oops, it's not. And when she mouthed "3 please I love you" to the camera when her 1-866 number was being read, I think I threw up a little in my mouth.

Paul - and your hot military jacket ...you started a little bit shaky tonight. Once the chorus hit you were golden. I just hope America liked your Ryan (with an 'R') Adams song since it was prob the first time most of the viewers had ever heard it...including one JLo. Best part of Paul's performance was watching Ry Ry trying to "do the Paul" at the end. I don't it's even possible for a person to move more awkwardly than Ryan.

Pia - she sounded like she was interviewing to be Miss America. "We went to a party, did a lot of press then had a photo shoot"...."I love Celine Dion...she's close to her family just like me". I felt like she was a beauty queen robot. Granted, her dress was amazing...loved the way it looked like liquid glitter and the chiffon train in the back was magic. If I had legs like hers I would be prancing around in sparkly short dresses all the fuckin time too. Oh yeah.....and she sang! "All By Myself". I was worried. But she actually came through again. She made some choices with the phrasing that made it her own but still kept the song in tact. She hit all the money notes and sounded rather lovely.

James - This man, who was doing a sweet Judas Priest act last week...chose Paul McCartney as his idol. Together with producer Jim Jonsin...James sang "Maybe I'm a Man" the way you would imagine it would sound if Styler sang it. The song stayed in tact but he was able to inject his signature wailing without it morphing it into something awful.

Haley 'the stripper' Reinhart - (We don't know each other well enough for first names) She went with "Blue" by LeAnn Rimes. I get that she can master the signature yodel in this song...but she sang every note like LeAnn. And just in case you forgot what song it was, you could use the color of her dress for reference. The only thing she did different;y was pour some sex pot on it. She growled and moaned like a cat in heat. I'm over her making everything into a pole dance. Did you see her face at the end where she makes pouty eyes and has her mouth half open with her lips protruding? Someone should tell her that's the face they model blow up dolls after...but, she probably always knows that :P

Jacob - His Idol is R. Kelly. It made me giggle to think that this church choir star would idolize someone who dates underage girls, pees on the them and video tapes it. But of course he had to sing "I Believe I Can Fly-aaiiiaiiiaaaahhhhayyyyaaiii aaaahhhhayyy aaiiiii aaayyyyaaaaiiiiiiiaa" He saw Space Jam when he was 9 and fell in love.....with Space Jam....riiiiight. this was actually a good choice for him. It lends itself to over singing so it fit perfectly for Jacob.

Thia - In case you forgot how old she is, Thia would like to remind you by calling Charlie Chaplin, Charlie Chapman (she has no clue who he is). She will also consider Charlie's song, "Smile", MJ's song. The arrangement was more than a little odd..especially with the jazzy part in the middle but she sounded really lovely. Her lower notes had a distinctive Adele tone to them. She is apparently very sensitive to the judge's criticism. I'm not sure why she was crying, I didn't think it was that bad. And I highly doubt she'll be in any trouble.

Stefano's Idol is Stevie Wonder...naturally. He worked with producer with the coolest name, Polow Da Don. Mr Don thought quite highly of Stefano which was really cute to see. He sounded really good on "Lately" and I almost even kind of enjoyed the club dance mix he turned it into. I forget how frickin cute Stefano is until they show him in the pre-performance video. He seriously is SO cute! It's no wonder Lo loves him so much. It's prob like how I feel when I find a really good looking Asian man :P

Karen - Oh Karen. As much as I thoroughly enjoyed seeing your collection of Selena dolls (says the woman who owns all 5 'N Sync dolls...still their original packaging), and thought that she was an excellent choice of Idol, your performance of "I Could Fall in Love" was very lacking. Where was the effortlessness that you had on "Hero"? And why would you do 2 ballads in a row? I would've gone with "Como la Flor" myself....Perfect assessment from Randall, "It felt like you were fighting the song the whole time". Good try Lo explaining the struggle as a result of in ear/monitor malfunction.

Scotty Scotty Scotty. Oh my gravy. I love Scotty doing Garth Brooks. I mean, when you talk about country you have to mention Mr. Brooks. I thought "The River" was a good choice. I would've liked him better on one of the more story telling songs...like "The Dance" perhaps? I would also like to see him do Jamey Johnson's "In Color". I liked how he treated the performance as his own concert, pointing out in to the audience. He moves a little awkward sans guitar but he'll prob grow out of that.

Naima can dance people. Yes she can. However she should maybe not do it and try to sing at the same time. She was breathless most of the time and off key. I appreciated that she took some real risks with this performance...the dancing...the original (yes she wrote it) rap breakdown...but the final execution was not good. I did enjoy that she added to my favorite word collection by saying she "OVERstands" what the judges are saying. Nice.

Overall I thought the show as only ok. No huge stand out performances... and I didn't like how the contestants took the assignment to sing a song from one of their idols to mean, dress like them too. I liked seeing them work with top notch producers, even if some of them came up with jank arrangements just to hear what real industry people made of them...even if there was clearly a conflict of interest seeing as how the winner gets their record deal from Interscope. Sorry so late on this one. Busy busy week for this Asian. Happy Idoling! Osterbauer OUT!

Ladies and Gentlemen, Your Top 10...and then some

2011-03-03T23:57:00.000-06:00

Oh Idol. Why you gotta always be switching up for how do this part of the competition? I just realized after tonight Idol pool will start. I think. But before I get into that...RESULTS SHOW. The very first one.

So we find out the top 10 will be revealed and they will be safe for next week. Then out of the 14 people who are left, the judges will select "wild cards" to sing again...and then possibly be chosen to be added to the top 10. This was very curious for me how they wouldn't say how many would get to sing OR how many from that group would get to be added to the top 10. I also was waiting for a caveat of, even if you don't get picked to sing again, you could still be chosen to make it to the top 10. (Glad they didn't pull that out).

So we start with a recap of Guy Night. Then we get to see some fun interviews with the guys. I think Casey will be my favorite for the rest of the season. In fact, I would vote to keep him, even if he wasn't the best just because he's *that* funny. I loved when he challenged Randall to a "bass off" and that he described his appearence as "someone who looks like they can't do much...except flip burgers..I am a lumberjack". Loved Stefano talking about how he liked when Lo said his name (incorrectly) but then followed with, "you're hot, I love you". James even got a good one in about when they were at the top 24 party and someone yelled "James, Country Living"..."why would I be in Country Living?" Scotty and his cute country boyness is getting to be almost too much for me. It's way too cute. WAY.

Then we got things rolling...standard format still in place...calling contestants to the center...couch= safety, stools equal not safe. Lights dim...judges critiques revisited annnd then the result.

First up, Scotty and Aladdin. Scotty is top 10, Aladdin not so much.
Jun Bug, Jordan and Jovany (you could send them all home in my book). None of them are top 10...NOT surprised.

Then we move over to the Girls night recap and interviews. They didn't give the girls as much to work with comedy-wise...instead their interviews were more serious. Haley said her favorite thing so far were all the photo shoots....grrrrrreat, tell the world how narcissistic you are Hay. Karen is all about being Latina. And Naima promises we will see her next week. I'm thinking she's probably right.

Next up Pia and Lauren Alaina...both top 10...YAY...not surprised.
Tatynisa & Julie...both not in. Again, not a surprise.
Kendra, Ash-thon and Karen....Karen is top 10.
Timmy, Casey & Jacob.....Casey and Jacob are top 10. Tim is VERY happy for Jacob...lots of hugging and growling....not sure what it was about.
Naima, Thia & Lauren Turner.....Thia is top 10. Semi surprised Naimi is not. However I know she'll be wild card.
Paul & Brett...Paul is top 10.
Haley & Rachel....Ry Ry tells them one is in, one isn't and the smile on Hay Hay's face was unmistakable. I love how the girls are all pretending to play nice right now like they all love each other. I know how girls work. This is clearly a lie. Example of two people who clearly DO NOT like each other...Haley and Rachel. Hay Hay is in...she was my only top 10 mistake pick I think.
Stefano & James.....James and his wail are in.

So, the judges reveal they have 6 people, 3 ladies and 3 dudes to sing for their lives. They will not say how many will make it out of those 6. I was half thinking they might just keep them all. But, I was wrong. One by one, they pick a person who can sing any song from any point of the competition.

First is Ash-thon. She does a horrendous rendition of "And I'm Telling You"...claiming she's gonna "do some Jennifer Hudson cuz she aint goin' no where" riiiight. Ash doesn't have half the voice JHud does. She has no depth whatsoever. Still hating on her diva-tude. Thinking it's a done deal..she's a goner.

Then Stefano who I'm convinced Lo wants to have as her secret pool boy lover. And really I don't blame her. Boy is caaaayute. He does an amazing job on "I Need You Now". Gorgeous tone...really in it to win it.

Then Kendra who pulled out all the stops on "Georgia on My Mind". She started insanely low...but thank goodness cause it left room upstairs for all her tricks. It got a little screachy in spots but overall really good. Soulful.

Then the surprise pick for me was frickin Jovany. Ummm no Brett? No Tim? Tim really needed the second shot. But I guess they knew he would always kind of come up as second rate....even with his dreamy looks. And who needs him if you have Stefano? But really, when Lo called Jovany my first thought was...ohhh i get it, all the Latinos get a second chance. Don't get me wrong, Jovany can sing. He has Latin lover groove like no other. But I don't think his musical skill/ear was up there with the other contestants.

Next is Naima which means Tatynisa, Lauren Turner, Rachel and Julie are done. Bye bye! Naima does a beautful (shit...now I'm saying it alot...thanks Styler) rendition of "For All We Know".

Then last is Aladdin. He reprises "Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word"...it's his wheelhouse for sure. But I didn't feel the emotion or desperation behind it like I did with Stefano.

This means ding dong the Jun Bug's dead, the Jun Bug's dead, the Jun Bug's dead! Oops....sorry....over excited about that. Also done are Timmy, Brett and Jordan, who admitted he should've picked a different song. Too late now buddy. Smell ya later!

Then after seeing Lo's new video for On The Floor we find out that Ash-thon, Stefano (oooh baby!) and Naima will round out a top 13!

And there you have it folks. Just like that we went from 24 to 13 in one week. Crazy town. I think America got it right. I would've taken Lauren Turner or Julie over Hay hay but I think that's the only one I'd change. And I would say Hay will prob bite it early on anyways but I forsee her being my new Megan Joy. The horrible contestant that will not die. I'm pumped for next week. I havent heard any buzz yet about mentors. Excited to see who they realed in this year. And that's it! Until next week lovas. Osterbauer-OUT!

Top 12 Girls Try to Make Their Big Stage Dreams Reality

2011-03-03T23:16:00.000-06:00

Last night obviously was girl night. And overall...the way I saw it was, these girls had been dreaming about this moment and they knew how they wanted it to go down...ya' know...dreamwise. And they all decided to go for it. The big one. They all picked songs that they saw themselves knocking out of the park...and as we witnessed...some made it happen better than others.

Lets discuss shall we?

Tatynisa - "Only Girl in the World" Clearly the way T saw this going down was a lot different than the way it played out. She was the "Jordan Dorsey" of girl night. This is also NOT a singer's song...it's also signature Ri Ri. The way Ri Ri sings the chorus, even as an upbeat dance track, the desperation still comes through in her voice. It wasn't even close to happening here. T doesn't have the stuff for that song and for the stuff she does have...it did nothing. Goooooo bye! (P.S I'm likin' how they put people I don't like in the #1 goner spot ::evil laugh:::)

Naima - "Summertime." I kinda wish they would just shut down anyone who wants to do this song. Fantasia's Summertime is one of the (in the words of Randy) "single greatest Idol performances EVER". For me, no one will top it. It was nice to hear that the song held a special place for her and I *do* think that came through in her performance. She sang it well...but I wasn't a fan of the more upbeat jazzy way she went with it. And it just wasn't as good as Fantasia. If you haven't seen it, do yo' self a favor and click the link and enjoy.

Kendra - Congrats to her, she managed to find maybe the most flattering strapless top known to man. Did you see how the back was lighter in color so when she turned she looked ultra skinny? Geez...I wonder where she got that?...anyways...she sang too! Xtina's "Impossible". I love you Kendra but you're not Christina. It just wasn't as good...not as much grit and soul as hers. Good...but not it.

Rachel - Oh my. Rachel looked like a little girl who had gone through her mom's (grandma's?) closet, found a dress, some red lipstick and curling iron and put on a show for her stuffed animals. Her rendition of "Criminal", while I give her a little bit of credit for originality...the final product just wasn't good. She was confident but it was in a very show boat-y way. There wasn't anything genuine about that performance. When she got the negative critique from the judges she looked like she about to go postal. Ry Ry was clearly very frightened. Have you ever heard him read the numbers so fast?

Karen - Even though I can tell Karen is a seasoned show biz professional, I was still a little bit frightened when she went into the opening bars of "Hero". Just like Rihanna, just like Christina...if you're gonna do Hero you need to be different and/ as good as Mariah. And POOF! Just like that....she did it. She weaved in and out of the Spanish and English like it was all one language. It felt sincere and personal and technically very good.

Lauren Turner - I feel bad for her a little bit because she really is very good. I love her sarcasm and sassy attitude (I think cause that's the way I imagine I would be). Good song choice...fit her style...unfortunately I don't think a lot of people knew that song? I'm glad she saw JLo's Bette Midler compliment as a compliment...cause the only thing about Lauren that I would compare to Bette is...her face shape and body type. Her voice doesn't sound like her to me...at all.

Ashthon - I hate the way she spells her name. I get it, "Asht-hon"...but it also looks more like "Ash-THon"...so there you go. Jus' sayin'. The judges were all loving her diva tude but I however was not. If you're not Beyonce...you should prob just leave your "heys" at home. Pretty sure B didn't act like that when she first started. How much did you cringe when she said she gets the diva thing from Lo? Really? I think Ash-thon has some brown stuff on her nose...

Julie - Oh Julie. Exactly how many pouffy dresses do you own? Julie's "Breakaway" was like watching a high school talent show. The song ate her. It was like the song was running away from her and she could not catch up to it. She def did somethings with the phrasing to try to make it her own but it wasn't enough.

Haley - Oy. I'm really over her. I was happy to see someone finally introduced her to frizz-ease. That was good. Watching Haley sing "Fallin" was like watching a drunken pin up girl who had just put some money in the jukebox and was ready to give some free lap dances. She was extremely over dramatic.

Thia Megia - My Asian! AND! She sang my song..."Out Here on My Own" was my senior show song in high school. Ahhh memories. Le sigh. Anywho...smart girl did the acapella intro. Aside from this being a great idea because it forced the audience to focus on just the sound of her voice, it also saved her from a singing/instrument mis match (ala Aladdin doing Angel). Her unique phrasing stands better on its own. She sounded amazing. But I found the arrangement to be a bit odd. I got what she was going for...with the parts of the song she chose but it came out a little odd for me. Other champions of the acapella intro include Bo Bice and Katherine Mcphee :)

Lauren Alaina - I love her. Like the judges said, she is a natural! Her skills are completely effortless. She can sing the phonebook. The end. She is the second coming of Kelly. I'm telling you.

Pia - I really wasn't thinking Miss Pia was anything special. She can sing and it's nice but that was kind of it. I was also nervous because a couple Idols have done really nice versions of this song...Carrie (I have her version as a part of my regular ipod rotation) and Gina Glocksen. But then she made some choices on "I'll Stand By You" that I haven't heard on any other version and then she got to the big note at the end and I'm like, WHAHH?? Who IS this girl? Everything about it was really lovely and I think technically perfect. My only thing with her is...did she peak too soon?

So overall...I thought the girls were better than the guys. Technically better...better song choices. I think at least their heads were in it to win it even if the execution didn't happen for a few of them. I still think Lo and Styler are being too nice. Styler thinks everything is "just beautiful". Yes Steven. The girls are all very lovely. Listen to the singing please! I do love Lo though. At least she finds a legitimately specific nice thing to say about the performance. I almost every time agree with Randy. Ten seasons in...yeah I think he knows what he's talking about. So that's it for Girl Night. I might knock out the Results show blog tonight too...we'll see. for now, Osterbauer-OUT!

Idol Stand Bys Prevail on Guy Night

2011-03-02T23:46:00.000-06:00

Finally finally what we're been waiting for. The big show...Season 10...new judges dubbed "The Remix" by Randall who now has Simon's old spot at the judging table. Guys could choose any song...any song that is from the cleared list of songs Idol has.So lets dive in shall we?

First up. The dreaded Jun Bug. The great thing about him being first is the classic first show first contestant voted off rule. The sad part about this rule is, even if the person is pretty good, they usually still get voted off. Going first out of 12 means, the audience has to try to remember the performance after seeing 11 other people. It's hard. Jun Bug also did us an even bigger favor by picking "Superstition". Up beat songs first songs have an even higher chance of being voted off than ballads. (This is Idol science people...look.it.up. I have an example, Rudy Cardenas, Free Ride). So we all know how I feel about this bug. He needs to be exterminated...quick. He didn't do anything original with the song and to be honest I liked it better when Bucky Covington did it...and that says a lot.

Jovany Barreto...oh Jovany...he must not have seen the Idol montage of people who use "I'll Be" to audition...this song is very tired on Idol (also sung by Josh Gracin and EJ Day). And even though Jovany is a fiery hot Latin lova...even he couldn't do anything worth while with the song to make it his or memorable. The end...much better than the beginning or middle for that matter but now I'm just searching for something nice to say.

Jordan Dorsey...you cocky bastard. OMG...really? For being such an arrogant dude, you would've thought Jordan would know better than to pick a song that isn't by any means a "singer's song". Also...no one can sing OMG except Usher. It was pitchy, over ambitous...and he acted like it was the Jordan Dorsey concert. Funny how confident he seemed on stage and then how quick he was to say the song was "not him, not him". Then why did you pick it?? Hmmm? Idiot. He can go anytime.

Timmy Halperin...(yeah I decided I'm calling him Timmy...what?) This wins for trainwreck of the night. In addition to the fact that Rob Thomas's "Come on Over" was the totally wrong song for him, it also kinda seemed like he just couldnt hear the music or himself. The timing seemed off. He was pitchy. The whole thing was a hot mess. Hopefully his dreamy good looks will bring him back so we can see him behind the piano again just once. Geez.

Brett Loewenstern..a sultry female R& B singer...living in a white boy's body...weird. He gave some good life to "Come on Baby Light My Fire". Love Brett's voice and his kind of overall swagger. Wish he would've picked something a little different. But this'll do. The hair tossing will be a drinking game before we know it.

James Durbin...the first person to ever do Judas Priest on Idol. Way to go. He definitely picked the right song. He got to do all his tricks...and it didn't seem overdone. He also acted like it was his own personal concert but in a high energy cool way instead of an arrogant way like Jordan. Well played James.

Aladdin (aka Robbie Rosen)...I usually dig when guys do a girl song and vice versa because then by nature they're already changing up the way we're used to hearing the song. I understood what he was trying to do with Angel but the execution didn't go so well. Lots of pitch problems and the rhythm seemed off again for me. And I didn't love how he didn't agree with Randy. I hate hate hate when people meet criticism with "Well I was just having fun up there". You should be giving the performance of your life every time. You can have fun at a movie or on the beach. No one cares if you had fun. How did you actually feel you performed technically? Oh bad? So you're falling back on the "fun" line then? Oh ok. Cool. Love when Randy just said, listen to it back and you'll see what I mean. Yeah dog. I feel you on that.

Scotty McCreery, country dream. Scotty like James, picked a perfect song for his style and personality. He performed it well. I love Scotty's satisfied grin after he does his signature low notes and his cutie pie eyebrow raises. Kid's gonna go far I think. He's a trip.

Stefano Langone sang an ok version of "Just the Way You Are". He sounded good...pitchy in parts. His range is a lot higher than I remembered. He didn't do anything special with it and I'm actually surprised the judges loved it as much as they did. Love that Ry Ry asked him who he sang it for and he said, "the ladies". Nice touch.

Paul McDonald I heart you. He almost sounded like a carbon copy of Rod Stewart at the beginning of "Maggie and Me." But then into the beginning it went all James Morrison singing Rod for me. And I love his kind of quirky rockstar swagger. I said it before and I'll say it again. His voice is simple captivating. I would listen to him sing...anything.

Jacob Lusk. Oh my. "A House is Not a Home" is an Idol favorite (Tamyra Gray, Ellliot Yamin. I was a little worried cause Jacob and his oversinging kind of give me a heart attack. It's all just too much. But I thought it was actually nice. He managed to keep the acrobatics in check just enough for it to keep me. His lower register still gets kermit-y for me so that bothers me. But other than that he did a solid job. I'm still partial to Tamyra Gray's rendition. But his is up there.

Casey Abrams....is sexy...per Miss Lo. Yes ma'am..I have to agree. Casey's "I Put a Spell on You" was pretty awesome for me. It borderlined comedy ala Will Ferrel...but in a good way because it was on purpose and it still was musical. I love how you can tell Casey doesn't do anything on accident...but he makes you feel like it's very spontaneous. The end note was perfectly unexpected.

So Idolers...overall I think the guys gave some decent performances. I'm sad that Timmy's was one of the worst but I'm still confident Jun Bug will have less votes than him based on the looks factor. I was annoyed at Styler. He thought everything was just dandy. He needs to adopt a more discerning taste at this point. Vying for the spot of favorite judge is Randall who I seem to be agreeing with most often. I think Lo does a great job of finding the contestant's strengths (i.e Aladdin's story telling skills)...but she also champions them too much. They need more criticism. That's all for now lovelies. Girl blog will up tomorrow, possibly as a combo results blog. Osterbauer-OUT!

Pleather & Lace: Idol Does Vegas + Final Judgement

2011-02-25T20:42:00.000-06:00

Idolers, I'm so sorry about my last week's absence. I actually had a life last Wednesday and Thursday so I missed the show in real time. When I went back to watch both episodes Sunday evening, I was horrified to discover I had experienced DVR failure. Our DVR was (gasp!) full and recorded nothing after the first 7 minutes of House on the Monday before Idol. Clearly I was devastated, especially when I found that Idol is not shown online and even "bootlegged" copies are youtube are no where to be found. I was only able to find clips of a few groups to fill my H-wood week void. :(

Anywho, moving on to tonight! For the first time, Idol took the remaining 61 people to Vegas to split into duos and trios to perform a Beatles song...obviously at the Mirage where Cirque de Soleil, Beatles: Love is performed.

We quickly learn that Thia Megia and Melinda Ademi are together to form the small girls, big voices pair. Lauren Alaina, Denise Jackson and Scotty McCreery are together also. During the 24-48 hours the groups have to learn the songs, Jimmy, Mr Interscope and his Entourage (I capitalized it on purpose bc I'm pretty sure his life must be like the show. One of his people looks just like Turtle! Anyone else see that? Same frickin hat and everything!) drop in to see how his possible future prodigies are doing. Jimmy (who I feel dresses a tad young for his age, no?) was not feeling it. He told Lauren and co they chose the wrong song. And over and over we heard him say "this is not what we're looking for". Yikes. Are we feeling some tings of regret here Mr Interscope?

Not to worry. On to the real thing.

First up, Stefano Langone & James Durbin. I was happy to see Stefano was still in it. I was afraid before he wouldn't make it through group week. They sounded good together, similar range and nice harmonies. James got in his Glambert wail at the end and judges were pleased. It was a nice start...but as always with opening upbeat songs...they run the risk of being forgotten.

Next Pia Toscano & Karen Rodriguez who not only attended high school together, but were also in a girl group together. I found that to be pretty interesting...obviously these two have a lot of "biz" experience already and it showed. They def looked the part and they sounded solid. However they didn't do anything creative with "Can't Buy Me Love". It was just girls...doing Beatles.

Haley Rinehart, Naima Adedapo & Jacob Lusk were next. I remember really liking Haley in her initial audition but I kind of ...how can I say...ummm hated her in this whole episode. Haley and Jacob sounded pitchy to me. And I agreed with Mr. Interscope completely about the over singing. Only Naima sounded good at all. Jacob is very Lite FM stylistically, almost had an Aaron Neville thing happening which was a huge turn off for me. I apparently heard something different than the judges, because they loved them. I thought it was awful.

I loved the very short clip of Rachel Zerita. She looks like a prettier Heather Mattarazzo. I wanna say she sounds like the love child of Tori Amos and the Indigo Girls...but I know that's not quite right. She has something though that I like.

I also loved Lauren Turner, who I don't remember seeing before ever. They should've shown her whole performance as well.

Sweetest duet and kind of a surprise for me was Tim Halperin & Julie Zorilla. I loved how they both started at pianos and then stood up together. It was a thing of pop duet Heaven.

LaKeisha Lewis, Jerome Bell &Tatynisa Wilson...LaKeisha was good, girl can def sing. Jerome bores me to tears. Tatynisa's voice sounded like nails on a chalkboard for me...really screechy...not pretty.

Paul McDonald (might need to be my new boyfriend?) & Kendra Chantelle (please note her and Lauren opted for middle name as last name for the show) sang a really beautiful understated Blackbird. One of my favorite Beatles tunes. Very soft, lovely rendition. Paul has a really unique voice..very James Blunt but sans that nasally quality James gets sometimes. Paul's style I find much more captivating than James'.

Melinda Ademi & Thia Megia sort of blew it on "Here Comes the Sun"...where we find out that Styler has adopted Randall's line- "It was just alright for me".

The freshly married Ashley & Sofia try to "work it out" and fail. I must say, I loved watching Ashley get married at the "same chapel where Britney Spears did" even it was an Idol made for TV event. Ashley is a spaz, but I enjoy her. I love when she said, "I should get something white, cause that's traditional and clearly I'm a traditional kinda lady".

Lauren Alaina, Denise Jackson & Scotty McCreery up next. They came to a final decision on "Hellogoodbye". Even if it seemed a little bit, silly, I thought they at least sounded good. It wasn't the best song for any of them. But they did what they could and it was funny to watch.

Chris Medina & Casey Abrams went for the full performance effect wearing matching fedoras and guitars, the two ran around the stage ending by collapsing on one of the Cirque beds. It was more memorable visually than melodically but fun none the less. Casey rules. Chris drools...er I mean...

Aaron Sanders, Robbie Rosen (who from now on I'm just going to call Aladdin. What? You think that's racist? Please. It *would* be except that HE LOOKS JUST LIKE HIM. If he had been born when that movie came out I would say they modeled Ali after him. Someone could call me Connie Chung as a nickname in a blog if I looked just like her and I would be perfectly fine with it. I swear), & Jordan Dorsey showed off some tightly wound harmonies with boy band esque expertise. I'm not really a fan of any of these guys. Jordan makes me wanna barf actually.

So following the Vegas performances we said bye to the freshly married Ashley Saraya (sp?), Ashley's duet partner Sofia also axed, Melinda Ademi, Jerome Bell and others to make our top 40.

I put the remaining contestants in 3 groups, People I love, who I knew would make it and did, People I hate who made it, and Shock Ousters...oh fine..4 groups...people who i should mention who didn't make it and I knew they wouldn't and shouldn't.

Fourth group first, people who didn't make it who shouldn't.

Chris Medina- I don't think there was a person in America that wasn't touched by his story. If you didn't cry for Chris and his poor wife, then you have no soul. However, Chris was not good. He prob shouldn't have made it to H-wood...much less through the group round all the way to top 40. That was insanity for me.

Jackie Wilson forgot her words when she did her final performance of Because of You. Not sure why she was so shocked she got cut. That was obnoxious.

John Wayne...I would've kept him for looks alone...but clearly he didn't measure up.

Jessica who only wears pleather who flipped off the camera when she was cut. Sorry you tried out 7 times and never made it to the live show babe. Maybe you should take that as a sign you should do something else. Barista perhaps? Drug dealer? something. She came off as a super bia even before they told her she was cut. Pretty sure she would've been gone real fast.

People who made it and should've made it that I love.

Lauren Alaina! I'm telling you. She is up there. Top 12 for sure. She is so Kelly it's not even funny. Her final performance of Unchained Melody was original and lovely. Full of heart. She really has a amazing control and she executes "the phrase end yodel note" as well as Carrie Underwood. For reals. And did you love or hate her barbie cow girl get up? I loved it. but it was covered in glitter so why wouldnt I? Lo had it right when she said she's like Dolly Parton.

Naima Adadepo. Was there really ever a question that she wouldn't make top 24? I no think so. Her sort of funky style and India Arie chops were an Idol judges dream. Plus she has camera loving beautiful eyes and skin. I had a love hate relationship with the Selena-esque sea blue lace dress she wore for the final walk. But hey, it was very her. So who's to argue with that?

Paul McDonald. Another shoe in. Loved his white suit with the rose embroidery. Totally rock star. I also dug his original song. Thinking he'll be top 12 material. He has a quiet understated confidence and America usually digs that.

Karen Rodriguez- I like her a lot. She has that "total package thing" happening. Her Selena song choice was really beautiful. I'm worried she might be too boring...an easy first round ax.

Tim Halperin...say hello to your season 10 heartthrob ladies. Don't get me wrong, Tim is good. Tim is very good. But if he wasn't so dreamy, he could've easily been lost in the shuffel. But lets be honest, my heart was a flutter when he sang "something in the way she moves" and so was Miss Lo's. Here's hoping he doesn't let us down. Especially since I fear more talented guys were sent home...

Julie Zorrilla. Oh Julie. You're the girl other girls love to hate. She's gorgeous, appreciative (heart broke when she talked about her parents being such an inspiration), somehow has found really amazing puffy skirt dresses, has legs from here to London and she can actually sing!....if she fails at Idol I see a modeling career in her future...if she's not already doing it. Did you see her work the runway when she found out she was in? I would've fallen flat on my face in those heels.

Scotty McCreery- my country dream man...ok not really...he could just call me up at night and read me stories...that would be good. But I digress, I love Scotty not only for his unnaturally deep chops but also for the way he was *so* disappointed in himself for not sticking up for Jacee. And I don't know what song that was about the "long black train" but it was perfect. Very Johnny Cash. Love love. Please don't be a one trick pony Scotty. Hmmm kay? Oh and can we talk about how hilarious it was when Ry Ry started singing Scotty's signature Josh Turner song? Oh man. That was TV magic right there.

Jovany Berreto- I really hope he appeals to more than a Latin audience. He has such a beautiful tone to his voice. His upper register is so smooth and lovely...very Latin lover. I also like that he kept wearing suits for everything. Classy.

Rachel Zevita...over accessorizes...ahem ahem why didn't anyone tell her to lose that stupid tie necklace? It was too much going on with her weird hair thing. The dress was so cute...and then she ruined it with that necklace. I swear someone should let me dress these kids. Anyways, I really liked her version of Gaga's Speechless however I felt she over did it in the end. The high note....over indulgent sister. I kinda think she'll implode. But it might be fun to watch anyways :P Oh and loved Rachie's g-ma telling Ry Ry he looked like a teenager and then back tracking to call him "beautiful". Old people are so cute.

James Durbin- ok so I actually have mixed feelings about Mr Disorder. He has a lot of talent...his range is crazy. But he needs to keep that shizz under control. I will be so pissed if he Glamberts every performance. Even Glambert didn't do that...he alternated. I love how he said he was going to dial it back and then he *still* did it on his final performance, a change is gonna come. Granted he hit the note...in a back bend...which was epic...but it'll get old real fast.

Best for last Casey Abrams! I'd like to call this part of my blog: Reasons I Heart Casey: 1. He plays upright bass....that is sexy and cool...2. You can describe how he looks by saying "fraggle rock"...3. Randall said he was the most talented musician they've ever had on the show (I would agree)....4. He's funny! Nobody loves a funny fat guy more than me. Loved when he said either way he'd be happy because both ways he gets to end hugging JLo. Ok so this will sound awful but did you see the older black man waiting for him when he came out? He looked very Ray Charles...secret mentor perhaps? Just something to think about....

Lauren Turner, Kendra Chantelle, Stefano Langone, Pia Toscano, Brett Lowenstein & Thia Megia all made it in...all good...all have possibility of being boring on the live show. Stefano is wicked cute. Pia is gorgeous. Kendra has the magic...if she would just use it. Thia, gotta root for my fellow Asian.

Shock Ousters!

Hollie Cavanagh- Man, she was really really good. I cannot believe they didn't keep her. Her final performance of Noone was awsome. Did she always have a bit of an English accent? Maybe I just never heard it through the crying?

Deandre Backensack...might be one of the most beautiful boys I've ever seen. Loved his lion mane of hair. He was Maxwell smooth. I think he could've done well on the live show.

Jacee Badeaux- awwww he's so frickin cute. Obviously they didn't keep him because he was too young. he needed to mature a bit but he def has talent.

I don't know if it was a "shock" really but I pulling for them to keep Colton. I only saw what they showed of him last night but he seemed good. He has the whole emo-rock star thing happening.

People who made it who I wasn't happy about:

Clint 'Jun Bug' Gamboa - seriously this kid needs to get lost. He is NOT good. I don't know what they're hearing because I'm hearing an insincere dude who has about a 5 notes range. He looks all kinds of ridiculous in those nerd glasses. And after the stunt he pulled kicking Jacee out, I doubt if people will vote for him.

Haley Rinehart - her final performance made me wanna barf. She over sang that from here to China. What they see in her I have no clue. Legs maybe. Just legs.

Ashton Jones- I actually never saw her very much. But from what I did see...she is Beyonce 2.0. She's going to do a botched Whitney number and then kiss her gooooooo bye. And they picked HER over Hollie? Madness.(Idol pool folks, are you paying attention??)

Robbie Rosen- aka Aladdin is all kinds of boy band magic. He is actually good. There's just something about him I'm not crazy about. No it's not his nose! Mean. I think it's because when I watch him sing I feel like I'm watching Luke Roland and Travis (what was his last name?) sing Boyz II Men in 6th grade. It's good...but it's not coming from a honest place because Aladdin, like those guys aren't old enough to know how it feels? Idk.

Jordan Dorsey comes off as arrogant and snide. I was really disgusted when the judges were recalling that he "auditioned" people to be in his group and then he defended that by saying it was the other people making him be the judge. I would vote for everyone BUT him just to help him lose. He's good but not nearly as good as he thinks he is. I would've gladly traded him for Jacee or Colton any day.

Jacob Lusk is the worst kind of singer for me. Someone who has all these tricks who thinks they all sound awesome, when in actuality they don't and ends up being this nighmare of oversinging. Randall thought him doing God Bless The Child was the single best performance ever? Whahh? Maybe with the most vocal acrobatics. I'm gonna put the TV on mute when he comes on. Oh fine...I won't...but only so i can accurately bash him in this blog.

So that's it Idoloonies! Next week America gets the power starting with the boys. I'm excited. This is when I start to love Idol. Let me know how you feel about the top 24 in the comments. For now Osterbauer-OUT!

San Fran: Sob Story USA

2011-02-10T23:03:00.000-06:00

Last stop on the Idol audition train! Finally. I gotta say even if this wasn't the last stop...I think it would be the last first round audition episode I could watch. I've filled my quota for footage of people crying, cursing judges, saying that they're "the next Americamn Idol" and doing their golden ticket happy dances. Now all I wanna see, are people with mad vocal skills, tearing it up and singing like they could sing the effing phone book already. I wanna see some mad makeovers, some overly glittery eye shadow...and some kick ass mentors. But first...some oddities, some interesting vocal stylings, costumes, costumes, costumes and tears, tears, tears.

First up, Ukranian...girl...Inessa Lee...youtube. video star. She does "shower scenes" and "that sorta thing". I would google her but I'm actually frightened about what might come up. Porn obviously is out there...crazy European porn at that and I'm also seeing a mail order bride site. I felt like she was trying to cast some sort of foreign witchcraft spell on the judges with her crazy eyes. I love when people are so foregone in their delusions usually but hers just sort of scared me. "Clearly women from Ukraine are beautiful"...uhhh I'm sure some are...cause that would be odd for a whole country to be full of fugly chicks...you however sweetheart do not fall into that category...call me cruel but I wouldn't even put her on my B list. And her weird cartoon voice was more freaky than cute. By calling her cute a million times clearly the judges were stretching to find something good about her to let her down easy in case she was hiding an oozie up her va-jay jay.

They then showed 3 people in a row quickly who made it through: Brittany, Lacey and Matthew. Brittany did what I felt was an underwelming version of "Mercy". I thought Lacey was actually interesting. And Emo-haired Matthew...unexciting.

Now for sob story #1 Stefano Lagone who was in some kind of an accident where he was awakened by a fire fighter yelling "he's alive!" It appeared from the scars that his body was in rough shape as a result of this accident. He talked about how they told him he would never walk again and then he made a miraculous recovery in 4 months. I don't know about y'all but I want to know what said "accident" was! It was all very vague. Did his dad beat him? Car accident? Fire? I'm lost. I would like to know. Obviously it was really terrible and there must have been something about it that was controversial enough that they either didn't want to share it, or couldn't put it on TV. But on to the matter at hand, Stefano sang a great rendition of "I Heard it Through the Grapevine." It was solid, smooth...in tune..nothing really spectacular about it but it was good. And even though he seems to have Jersey Shore-ish style...he's cute. Lo said he had "movie star good looks"...I wouldn't go quite that far. It's clear the woman has a type, (::whispers:: "Latinos") know what I'm sayin'? (Not that there's anything wrong with that...if i were judge, I'd be sending Asians left and right to H-wood)

Next, Clint Jun Gamboa aka "Jun Bug" the karoake host extrordinaire. You know me, I always worry about these people with these professions that are sort of meant to keep them in the practice of being corny, bar and/wedding singers. Clint came through for the most part, he has solid skills...kind of Bruno Mars-y for sure. I know those round glasses are in but I felt like they did not agree with his face. I hope he switches those for something more flattering eventually.

The people in the costumes are beyond ridiculous. There was a monkey, a guy with a lazy eye (oh fine I know that wasn't a costume) and a transformer? The transformer costume was actually badass...like...for Halloween...but not Hollywood. If there was such a thing as Halloween costume project runway...then that guy should try to for that.

This brings us to Sob Story #2 for the night. Julie Zurila. Julie's family is from Columbia where they actually lived on a mountain and were doing alright for themselves until guerilla warfare came in. Then her family called it quits and came to the US with their two children and started over. It was definitely heartbreaking to hear her parents describe the situation and see the footage of what was going on. Aside from grabbing us by our hearts with her story, Julie also had the advantage of being absolutely gorgeous. She also wore a super cute flashy dress complete with poofy skirt and gold glitter heels. Lo can spot a rockin pair of shoes from a mile away. Julie sang "Summertime" which has a very challenging melody that she decided to take some "creative liberty" on that I did not agree with. She has a beautiful voice. The skill is there. But the choices she made with the melody for me...made the song lose its feeling. I felt like a lot of what she did was more for show than to actually communicate the song. Fantasia, like Randall said, knocked it out the park...and I don't think Julie held a candle to it at all. Lo brought out the big guns afterwards predicting she may be the possible winner? Ummm did someone let the gold glitter heels get to her head? I think so.

Lets break for my favorite Styler lines of the night! To the long haired rocker appropriately named Dave Combs (someone get him one!) "uh oh you may be tendin bar!" and to the hideous woman singing "Shut Up and Drive" in her police lingerie...."Do you have hand-cuffs?" If her answer was yes would he have sent her to H-wood? It's debatable.

Sob Story #3! Emily Anne Reed. A week before the audition, her house burned down :( Not that people come to Idol auditions thinking, hey I have this amazing story...this will help me...but (this will sound horrible) I thought it was better for Emily that she wasn't planning on coming to Idol with a back story. It just happened. I loved when she was describing her dad telling her that she needs to get away from home to pursue her dreams so she decided to go as far away as possible. Even though she didn't have the greatest handle on the melody for her first attempt, she won from the start because of her uniqueness. It's driving me insane right now because I can't think of the singer i want to compare her to. But really I can't think of anyone who sounds exactly like her. I love love loved when she picked up the guitar and sang. She fits right into that whole blue grass, "old timey" revival that's coming back. She is definitely one to watch.

Sob Story #4 James Durbin, the man who I think I'll refer to as...."The Crier". And not that he didn't have a valid reason to cry...but he was crying ....a lot. James' dad died when he was 9. He was then diagnosed with tehrets and ausbergers. He met the love of his life and they have a child who might be the cutest little boy ever. And then icing on the tragedy cake..,James is laid off from his job. Luckily James' cute fiance/baby mama is the kind of adorable that writes inspirational post its which she plasters all over their apartment saying things like "I believe in your gift". You all probably think that its all kinds of dumb. Me, I felt like someone pulled her straight out of a romantic comedy/drama I hadn't seen yet. Are there men out there that leave cute/inspirational post its for their girlfriends? I would like to find one of those....I would very much like to wake up to post its on my mirror that say something nice and/encouraging. I hope someone is taking notes on this....anywho, back to the music! James is like the freaking second coming of Glambert. He has an almost identical wail complete with shiny dramatic money note! The judges loved him. Boy has skills. He needs to work of keeping the wail in tune.

So that's it Idolers. And thank sweet baby Jesus we're in H-wood time now. I did actually watch it tonight but I might have to post that blog tomorrow. For now, Osterbauer! OUT!

The Shit Gets Weird in LA

2011-02-09T13:10:00.000-06:00

I tried to think of a different title for this blog, really...I did. But I thought about the theme of the episode and that's all I got. Miss Lo wore her least attractive ensemble to date. Now I can appreciate the fact that she is one of the few beautiful women who can be bald and still look amazing...but there are better ways to look hairless than that weird head wrap thingy she had on which didn't go with her high necked blouse at all. I championed her stylist the whole way except for this episode. Anyways, onto the contestants. I decided LA needed to be 3 groups: The Odd, The Dead Animals and The 3 People Who Were Actually Good.

The Dead Animals
Victoria Garrett- the song she "sang" (I use the term loosely) was unrecognizable. The tone of her voice was almost a carbon copy of one of those hotel alarm clocks...the ones that only make that really annoying noise...over and over. Like that. I second Styler when he said, "You're going to SIBERIA!" Yikes.
William- guy-in-suit...terrible high pitched whining noise...
Jeanette Manning- red head who thought she was half opera, half pop...Lo told her she missed most of the notes...and killed dogs everywhere with that high pitched pile of terribleness.

Have you noticed that the judges have now decided that calling people "baby" is the surefire way to make the let down easier? "Not today baby"..."Sorry baby, not good enough" I have to say...that would totally work on me. But I'm a baby-as-a-pet-name user. Call me baby and I'm puddy in your hands. No....that's not true....all the time!

Lets talk about The 3 People that Were Actually Good!
They're all Latino! 2 of them are related!! Whoooooo! Ok I'm done.
Karen Rodriguez- really pretty leggy Latina with wild curly locks...she had a sweet tone...good control....even though her voice didn't have the same depth...it reminded me a little of Leona Lewis. She also seemed genuine when she told Miss Lo she looked up to her instead of the fake, semi-creepy, sort of contrived compliments that most people were giving her.
Brothers who looked like lovers (anybody else think that? a little?) Marc and Aaron Guiterrez. Well dressed in bright (coordinated!) colors these do did a lovely rousing rendition of "Lean on Me". They had really lovely clear harmonies and I loooooved the way they chose to dip low and lengthen "leeeeeeaaann on me". They had really excellent control of their runs and it was impressive how well they followed each other. I don't know how well they'll do on their own, but together, there was magic there.

Now for the good part :P THE ODD
Heidi Khazam- she belly dances and her last name looks like a magic word. That's like a match made in heaven...sort of like how she dances while Styler does beat box...and just when you think they're going to dismiss her...she actually sings. And because she's not terrible...annnnnd she's a belly dancer...Randy sends her to HOLLYWOOD!! I didn't get this at all. 90% of her air time was belly dancing. They only showed Randy saying yes, which I guess was sufficient since Styler's beat boxing was basically a yes too. It was clear by the angry stiff "simmer down" Lo gave Randall that she was not impressed but she knew she was on the losing side so she chose to cut her losses and let it go. Did anyone else think she sounded like Quinn from GLEE? I don't mean that as a compliment either. It's clear Quinn was chosen for the show because of her looks. If this genie in a bottle gets ANY airtime in H-wood, I will be shocked.
Tynisha Roeshe- I apologize in advance to drag queens everywhere for saying this but she looked like a drag queen stripper gone terribly wrong. Wiener curl bangs paired with drawn on (oddly shaped) eyebrows + lebre piercing= one unattractive dude. That's right. I didn't stutter. I said DUDE. I'd put money on that person hiding a penis under that pleather skirt. She (because that's clearly what they're trying to be) brought her own mic, chased Randy and went through maybe 7 songs before they finally called security on her. Before she left she said one of the night's best lines, "I have 3 albums waiting to be created". Of course you do. We all have multitudes of albums "waiting to be created."
Matthew Scott Franklin- CEO of MSFP, free lance music producer who put together a compilation album which includes a song by the "one and only Chaka Khan". In addition to riding the bus (because his company is "going green"), he also produces music for not millions, but a bunch of artists. He was like Jon Lovitz, if Jon Lovitz put on 50 extra pounds and had a stutter and wanted to be the white version of B.I.G. I loved how he had a friend whom they captioned as "Matt's homie".

And of course I saved the best weirdo for last! Mr Cooper Robinson! 59 (he thinks!) year old man from Arkansas who I'm pretty sure they found drunk on the sidewalk somewhere on Hollywood Blvd as a street performer. I'm not even really sure he knew what American Idol was? He gave Randall directions to his home in AR....which they felt needed to be subtitled...and where he lives, you need to be careful how you walk because "there's lots of snakes". He rolled around on the ground a lot and then at the end he said the funniest line of the episode: "I'm handsomer than any dog, snake,cow, pig, giraffe, chicken, hog and the gee-raff". Oh man...if you haven't seen it. It's your lucky day.

Cowboys & Cowgirls Do it Right in Austin

2011-02-08T20:19:00.000-06:00

Happy Wednesday my fellow Idolers. I was bound and determined to do this one in a more timely manner than last Thursdays. Thank sweet baby Jesus for the invention of DVR though. Otherwise I would've been SOL for seeing last Thurdays episode. When I move out in 2 short months I'll be cable and DVR-less...oh the horror! Then my life *will* really be put on hold during Idol. But enough about me, lets talk about you! You being Austin! 7500 people came out to audition...50 of those people made it through. And we saw 9 of those people tonight. I'm putting those people in two groups. The Awesome Group! And the Needs Some Work Group.

Needs Some Work
Corey Levoy- boy who discovered he had a long lost sister 15 minutes away, who is now his bff. Corey is another Rascal Flatts-ish guy...similar tone and style...while I felt he executed his runs beautifully, they seemed a little out of control and maybe even a little mis-placed here and there. It was like he just it to do it with no rhyme or reason. If he can rope them in and think of them more as an extra tool to express emotion, instead of a tool to use for a gold medal win in the vocal olympics, then he could be ok.
Hollie Cavanagh- 17, failed at singing the correct melody on "At Last"...and then burst into tears. When Ms Lo asked if she could gather herself to sing something else, I felt like she was my mom. I can hear her saying something similar right now actually...but anywho...back to Hollie...she has a lot of potential to be good. Her voice is really pretty but she cut off the end of every phrase of both songs. And the fact that she struggled with the melody in At Last made it seem like she was a no brainer to send home. It was cute how she regained confidence singing "The Climb" of all things but even though she *was* much better on that...she can't sing it for everything.
Courtney Penry <3's Ry Ry Seacrest....to the point of tears. She's 17, does a chicken impression and now (being Tuesday not Wed..never finished this one) I can't even remember what she sounded like. It was good...but not memorable.

In The Awesome Group! a whole 3 people...

John Wayne Schultz- will you marry me? Oops...haha....just practicing---ER I mean....just KIDDING! Geez. But for really now...if all cowboys were like him, I'd move south in a heartbeat. Try to find something wrong with him. Try it. He sings like a frickin angel. He looks like the handsome rugged cowboys I see in my dreams...I mean...if I ever dreamt about cowboys...which I don't. And the kicker....he loves his mom!!! Swoon. If Styler gave leggy girl the key to his room...give this guy the key to mine. Hell-O!

Janelle Arthur- she sang two of my favorite songs: Duffy's Syrup & Honey and Shania's No one Needs to Know. Her tone and style were very similar to Miranda Lambert. Loved her.
Casey Abrams- He *does* look like a fraggle! A fraggle with a Seth Rogen body. haha 19...with the goofy keyboard harmonica thingy...forgot what it was called...he was awesome! He "Don't Need No Doctor" and he also don't need no help with his falsetto cause it ruled! Smooth and pretty like Robin Thicke baby. Rawr.

Well sorry kiddos, this one was kinda lame-o. But I just watched Thursday's Idol and I'll be posting that one tonight...for now OSTERBAUER-Out!

Nashville: the good, the bad & the tone deaf

2011-02-02T23:42:00.000-06:00

A whopping 17,000 people showed up to audition in Nashville. And when you have that many people some of them have to be good....really good...and then of course some of them have to be bad...really bad...terrible...horrible...ear-bleeding bad. Thank goodness in this case, they remedied the bad with one I found to be pret-ty special. Without further ado, lets dive in, shall we?

Lets start with The Bad
Allen Lewis- aka The Tattoo Guy, long hair...typical Southern rocker-looking dude...BIG surprise, he's singing "Simple Man". Oh wait- did I say singing? More like creative suffocating. I wanted to hand him an oxygen tank. He was straining so much it sounded like he was trying to push out a giant poo or he was having a hernia. One of the two. Think,awful lead singer from Hinder ...x1 million. However, I bet he kills it at karaoke...when people have about 5 rounds of Jack running through their veins. In that state I bet he sounds amazing.
Stormy- (I'll just skip right over the obvious problem with her name...which should be reserved for those of non human variety...) Ugh. She is my least favorite kind of contestant. Good to know Styler (that's my new nickname for Steven Tyler, I know I know, I'm SO clever!), has taken over Simon's role for picking women to go to H-wood based soley on looks. The minute she walked in on her mile long legs and model-esque torso and shiney smiley face, it was clear from the "uh-oh" that came from Styler that his giant lips were ready to say one thing and one thing only...YES YES YES...send this lovely nymph to H-wood and God dammit show her straight to my room! The thing is, she wasn't terrible, but she wasn't American Idol. There was no emotion or artistry or anything special about her voice. And she botched some notes which suggested at the least she needed some more practice. Thank you Ms. Lo for agreeing with me on this one.

Matt Dillard- I wanted him to be good SO bad! Matt's family has fostered over 700 kids in the span of 23 years. That is amazing. As a child who had a foster parent at one time, I know how important these people are to the children they care for. Matt def had a lot of heart in his voice and he sang every word like it was coming to him from deep down in his soul. But it just wasn't that good : / He wasn't totally in tune the whole time and his tone isn't unique or beautiful...only kind of nice...church nice. H-wood will devour him.

The Tone Deaf
Christine Macafee- I hope she was a joke? I almost don't even want to make fun of her bc either it *was* a joke and now I'm adding fuel to that fire....or she was serious and lets be honest, that's just really sad.
Kameela Merrick- Oh my. Miss Junior Regional Vocalist (is that like the assistant regional manager?) After she wailed "Sweet Thing" into an animal I didnt even recognize, Styler told her to practice! bahahaha That's one way to let someone down easy. And Randy, not following Styler's lead says, "what? Practice? She should just not sing all together". Randy= new mean judge.
LaToya- You can pretty much count on anyone who wears a prom dress to the audition to be good. And by "good" of course I mean, a terrible singer, but a perfect person to feature in blogs such as this. She brought her CD (good God, what was on it??)...but only 1...they have to "share" it (throw it in their shared garbage can?). She sang something....she said it was a song by Tamia but uhh I shared Randy's sentiment when he said, "oh no it wasn't". Aside from the obvious fact that melody was something she has no clue about, her voice was equivalent to the sound of dying cat+bird+frog....something like that. A giant ball of unpleasantness. And to add insult to injury when they dismissed her, she felt the need to walk out singing...which compelled Randy to confirm "Still no".

And for the The Good...the REALLY Good...
The Exes- Chelsea Oaks and Rob Bolin...SO cute. If singing doesn't work out for Chelsea, Pantene ProV should snatch her up. Most gorgeous red hair I've ever seen. I don't know if it's because they built it up or what but when they sang together, there was some magic happening. Not only do their voices compliment each other really beautifully, but they also read each other well. Chelsea sang "The Story" alone which is one of my all time fav love songs. She made it into this really excellent country rendition with her pretty, sorrowful, broken twang. Rob is very James Morrison...also very very good. It broke my heart to see it was clear he still loved her and she had clearly moved on.
Adrienne Peasley- black girl adopted by white parents...I loved her sort of raspy alto...her tone is very India Arie-ish...the way she sang Lady Antebellum's "American Honey" sounded like an India cover of sorts. Styler said she moved him to tears. She seemed very genuine...a old soul.
Jackie Wilson- 28, I felt like she was there for bar singers across America. She was good. For sure. And I liked how you could tell she was just a little bit nervous. But I think she might get lost in the crowd. She needs a makeover stat.
Danny Payte-I wish they would've shown more of him. He sang Papa was a Rolling Stone and all the judges were groovin. They raved about him in the end but since they only showed the part where they all started singing, it was hard to hear what he actually sounded like on his own.

Alright so, now is when Sarah's making the first bold move. I'm calling it now, Lauren Alaina, top 12. Now y'all will have proof when it happens and I can say I told you so. She's 15 and she's frickin awesome. Gorgeous voice, in tune...great style, not too overboard on the runs. Girl could sing the phonebook! And I LOVED when she started singing "I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing" and then she was cue-ing Styler to jump in. Too awesome. I'm telling you....she is reminiscent of you-know-who.

Sorry for the delay on that one Idoloonies...Tonight's recap coming right up! But for now, OSTERBAUER-out!

Milwaukee! Midwest IS Best

2011-01-26T23:56:00.000-06:00

You know, what my real problem is the these "nicer", "smilier", "friendlier" Idol episodes is, if they don't show anyone terrible, who am I to make snark-a-liscious comments about? That montage with the girl who bought her outfit from a stripper clothing catalogue (black lipstick...black velvet...ummm hmm...Steven Tyler liked it...figures, velvet= popular in the 90's), the "other" girl wearng black lipstick belting Alicia Keyes like she was something and the clearly confused kid who thought he sounded like Frank Sinatra but then sang Lady Gaga, was really just a tease. And as hilarious as Mr. Civil War Re-enactor was ("My dad is NOT hippie. Hippies believe in SEX") and Mr. Radio Wanna-Be ("KQ1000 radio Toledo!), what I've been really wanting to see came in the form of a woman name Vernika.

Oh Vernika...try a bra next time sweetheart. You didn't hit any of the notes on "Loving You" which actually Miss Lo, is NOT a beautiful song. I loved how she was not only delusional about her singing ability (or rather lack there of) but she was stone convinced that the real reason she didn't get a golden ticket was because she's not skinny! And lets be honest, part of me loves when they further exploit the crushed dreams by following the ticket-less out of the building. Wanna know how to look real stupid on TV? Spout some profanities to a camera man on a nationally televised show. It's not his fault your daughter thought she could sing when she can't. It's yours for encouraging her. ZING oooooh...too harsh? TOO BAD. Ooh that felt good. I think I'm getting my mojo back.

Ok so on to the good stuff! I'm putting the golden ticket winners in 2 categories. People who are awesome and people who prob should've been sent home. Let start with the second group (finish on a high note, pun intended).

People Who Should've Been Sent Home (and will most likely be eaten alive in H-wood)
Emma Henry-15, her rendition of True Colors was not on pitch for almost the entire beginning and even tho I too thought she had a unique broken quality in her voice, she needed some more time to refine it. H-wood ticket, wasted.
Naima Adedapo- I really really want her to do well. She has gorgeous eyes and unique style. The fact that she's a janitor makes for the perfect Cinderella story. She has a strong voice with a slight India Arie-ish tone. However, I forsee her getting in a bitch fight in H-wood and I fear that on the big show, she'll sing songs people don't know and it'll come off as boring .
Jerome Bell- Once a wedding singer, always a wedding singer. He blew the roof off "Lets Get It On"...rockin the sweet falsetto, really marinating the lyrics...you know why? Cause he's sang that one lots o times. There isn't any heart behind it...it's just fancy tricks for the kids. I bet he makes balloon animals too.
Tiwan (missed the last name, too lazy to rewind the DVR)- Oy. One word. Ok fine. Two words. Scary Teeth. I would comment on his singing but all I saw were those teeth. I was frightened.
Steve BigGoon (hey, he said it!)- Steve pulled the biggest, looks-one-way-sings-another surprise tonight. Gotta love a CPA who can sing! He sorta sounded like the lead singer from Rascal Flatts but down an octave and more Kermit-y. Very mediocre. Def would've said N to the O to him. It was the shock that got him through.
Allie WantsToBoneStevenTyler- (Seriously the names are on the screen for only a split second). Uhh she was not good. And it was slightly disturbing to me to see Steven Tyler hitting a girl who could be his daughter. When he said "there's more where that came from" I was half expecting him to pull out his room key for her! Good God. Be more obvious. And when they sent her through I felt like Steven and JLo were smoking a special kind of crack otherwise known as "making dreams come true".

Ok! And moving on...tooooo People Who Are Awesome!
Scotty McCreery- aka my 16 year old boyfriend! Hell-O! (Yes yes, it's creepy when Steven Tyler does it but not when I do it, and yes, I do realize that's a double standard). He plays baseball! AND he's a pitcher! I bet he also loves puppies and milkshakes and rainbows! I mean...you can see it by looking at him...I don't care if he *is* a carbon copy of Josh Turner's voice. It's Josh Turner! Low and sexxy and all that. Yummmm I mean...uhhh...no, that's not drool....I think Steven had it right when he said, "Hell fire, save matches, F&^% a duck and see what hatches!" Amen brother. A-fucking, men.
Thia Megia- Yeah I put her in this category cause she Asian! DUH. She's my favorite kind of Asian. Teeny tiny, uber cute, GIANT voice (ala Ramiele Malubay anyone?). And she did Adele so right on "Chasing Pavements". Unique phrasing, strong, smokey tone...girl got it. I'm sure she'll disappoint me by doing a Whitney number she's not built for, but a girl can dream can't she?
Molly DeWolf Swenson- Harvard grad, White House Intern (not the Monica Lewinski kind, haha thanks for that distinction dear), blonde, legs for days, can something be please wrong with this girl? Nope. Not a chance. She can sing too. Dammit. Kind of a Carol King-ish thing with her. Me likey. And normally I don't do blondes...weird.
Haley Reinhart- Ohhhhh Darlin....please believe me...this girl blew it out the park for me. I loved her. I loved her curly sun kissed locks, her really pretty smile and simple kind of hippie chic style...but mostly I liked her cause I could tell she was a sassy little minx (much like myself :P)
Winner of my favorite of the night award goes toooooooooo.......
SCOTT DANGERFIELD- student teacher who sang Amos Lee as I melted.....slowly....into the floor....Idk what it is...but I think my favorite girls will always be the more kind of soulful/rock girls...and my favorite guys will always be white boys who ride the line between boy band and R&B singer. He was very JC Chasez for me...SO good!

53 golden tickets were given out in Milwaukee. That my friends is all kinds of crazy town. I'm excited to see who they left out of tonight's episode. I know they save some goodies for H-wood. However, I forsee tonight's awesomeness doing pretty well. If they would've given Scottie a number, I'd be speeding dialing that bitch right now!! Frealz. Well lovelies, that's all I got. Osterbauer-OUT!

OMGosh! I almost forgot to talk about tonight's sob story...which is maybe actually the saddest thing I've ever seen on Idol or any show for that matter. Chris Medina, whose fiance was in a terrible accident leaving her brain damaged 2 months before their wedding. She is now confined to a wheelchair, with what seemed like limited ability to speak and Chris and her mom take care of her. If you didn't shed at least one tear watching this unfold, you have no heart. That is the guy you want. The guy who will take care of you after you survive something terrible and come out on the other end so much less than you were before. That my friends is love like I've never seen. And we should all be so lucky to find someone like that, and hopefully never have to go through anything similar. Another reminder to tell people you love that you love them. Cause it can all change in an instant.

Nothing New in "Nawlins"

2011-01-23T23:02:00.000-06:00

Last year I bitched a lot about the formulaic nature the opening audition episodes had taken on: the amazing singer with the death/illness related sob story, the country bumpkin who had never left their 1 stoplight town, much less been on a plane, the mom/dad with ultra cute child, always short on funds looking for a new start and of course a parade of terrible singers with either costume gimmick and/delusional belief they're actually a good singer. It was wonderfully predictable, awesomely reliable and yet consistently entertaining and lets be honest, I shed some tears for most of those sob stories.

This year, the formula has been re-defined. So far, it appears they've ixnayed the bumpkins ("so far" are the operative words here), they've upped the number of "good" singers 3 fold from any other season and they've significantly downplayed the back stories. We've also traded in British insults for the bluntness of Steven Tyler. On the surface level, I would say these are positive changes. But two episodes in, I am already starting to feel....dare I say....bored? I don't know if it's a relativity thing....where before we were forced to see a string of bad singers and then once they actually let us see a good one it seemed to always feel like this sort of earth shattering thing, or if the singers they're showing just really aren't that great? The answer of course remains to be seen. During H-wood people who tore the roof off Carrie Underwood might not be able to learn an Adele number in 8 hours.

So here's how I felt about tonights selection from New Orleans (or Nawlins) whatever...

Jordan Dorsey, 21 year old piano/voice teacher. While I'll give it to Jordan, he has a great voice and some serious skills....his artistry was severly lacking in taste. His rendition of Somewhere Over the Rainbow was all over the place. Instead of being original, it felt jumbled and mis-matched. He was trying to do too much with it. Simon would've labled that one over confident and over indulgent in a second. Instead JLo could hardly keep her panties on she was so excited. Music teachers tend to go far in H-wood (hello Danny Gokey) but we'll see if he can keep the vocal olympics in check.

The three girls tonight I felt were singing the same tune as most of the girls we've seen. Sarah Sellers, Jacquelyn Dupree and Paris Tassin all had very pretty, clean, strong vocals. I failed to see anything special about any of them except for Paris (sob story of the night with the sick daughter) who clearly sang a song which meant a lot to her. Unfortunately there are only so many songs about struggling single moms. We'll see if she can bring that emotion/intensity to other songs.

Jovany Barreto- this guy is going to run into the Jorge Nunoz problem where only people of the Latin variety will vote for him. Beautiful voice yes, but the equally beautiful song he sang entirely in Spanish, only appealed to his people. As terrible as it may sound, if you wanna win over America, you need to sing in English.

Stand outs of the night go to the wild haired ginger, Mr. Brett Loewenstein (whose mom is a total MILF geez-uz). I love Brett bc he's the typical nerd who used music to come out his shell. He was very soft spoken, sweet and humble. His voice was kind of Jason-Mrazy...but with some smoke added. I have a feeling he has some tricks up his sleeve.

Also, biggest stand out/surprise of the night and my favorite: Jacee Badeaux, 15 year old, festively plump kid singing "Sittin on the Dock of the Bay". PUH-leese! Move over Bieber...another youngin movin in! I liked Jacee because he's young and the tone of his voice is young but his style and attitude aren't. He was really really sweet. Reminded me of the kid from UP.

So they let 37 people go to H-wood from New Orleans. I'm pretty sure that has to be some kind of a record. I feel like they're going to regret this once they get to Hollywood week. When half the people cave under nerves and forget lyrics, I should send JLo a note that says "I told you so". It's safe to say this years judges are more than easy. Anticipating how they'll comb through some of these karaoke kings and queens to find the real talent has peaked my interest. Also, if JLo can't handle telling some of these people no, how will she dismiss an entire room of hopefuls? Knowing how she rolls, she prob put a clause in her contract saying she's exempt from doing it. Well Idoloonies...that's all I got. Osterbauer-OUT!

Jersey Shore Comes Through but 16 & Under Only...

2011-01-20T00:07:00.000-06:00

Helloooooo fellow Idolers! It's the night we've all been waiting for! The night when my life as I know it gets put on hold (on Tuesday and Wednesday nights) for the next few months while my favorite show forces me to fall in love with talented strangers and then makes me watch 99% of them fall to their (typically untimely) television demise. It's the season where my DVR can single handedly give me heart attack and when my texting increases by 20-200 depending on where my hearts at on any given Tuesday night.

It's a whole new ballgame out here in Idol land. A land now sans everyone's favorite English grouch. In case you've been living under a rock all summer (and winter), Idol traded 3 for 2, ax-ing Ellen, Kara and Simon (who reportedly turned down 130 mil for season 10) and adding Aerosmith's Steven Tyler and America's fav booty (pre-Kardashian) JLo. The judging changes were all the buzz over the summer, making thrice (<---Conan fans that was for you) the headlines of last season's winner Lee DeWyze. (It's all coming back to you now isn't it? It's ok you forgot about him. I did too.) First the rumors were JLo was in, then she was out....in the end she was in for good. I was not shocked by this the slightest bit. JLo is a self pro-claimed huge fan of the show, she's been married 3 times and when she was half of Bennifer, it was common knowledge she wrote in their pre-nup they had to do the humpty at least 3 times a week. Clearly this is a woman who knows what she wants, and gets it. (Fine, so it took her a couple times to get the marriage thing right. Nobody's perfect. Pretty sure she hit the jackpot on music, movies, clothing and perfume...not too shabby). Steven Tyler was an odd choice for me...but clearly the credentials are there. Who am I to argue with a guy who's sold 150 million records? But I digress, like the opening of the show said, "it's not about our story, it's about yours."

First stop on the Idol train, Jersey. Awesome (say it with the accent!)...T-shirt tiiiiiime. Out of the tens of thousands of Snookie-poofed fist pumpers, we had some gems tonight. Baby gems at that. All but 4 of the golden tickets winners shown were 16 and under. And this friends, is where our Idol journey begins!

Kenzie Palmer- the first 15 year old to ever audition for Idol. Really cute...a commercial dream really. Her rendition of "Young and Beautiful" was pretty, polished, with a shine. But it lacked genuine feeling and grit. She does have a pretty smokey lower tone and she nails the country yodel. I forsee her being boring and lost in the shuffel in H-wood tho.

Robbie Rosen- our first sob story of the evening, poor kid spent several months in a wheelchair when he was 5. But now he's 16 and in prime boy band form! Did you hear that JT-esque whisper he had going on? Hello! Keep your eyes on this one...

Victoria Huggins- she made my teeth hurt, and if it didn't seem so genuine, I would've hated her. But just like the rest of you, all I saw was her very clear aura of rainbows and kittens. If she doesn't make it past H-wood, she always has the Miss North Carolina pageant to fall back on. Had to love when Steven Tyler pointed out she was showing just the right amount of leg and she responded by saying she wanted to appeal to boys but still be a "lady".

Also in the mix was Melinda Ademi , the Kosovo refugee who is maybe the tiniest person ever. Really pretty girl who did an equally lovely version of "If I Ain't Got You". One to watch for sure. Briell Von Hugel (aka Throat Cancer Dad girl, sob story #2 for tonight). I feel like she's a goner in H-wood. Not enough chops for it. And the ever so cute, Travis Orlando. If you didn't cry when he talked about being homeless, you sure as shit did when they put him through and he hugged his twin brother who was also crying tears of joy. Seriously SO sweet. (Side note: Did anyone else think his mom looked like Cindy Lauper?)

My fav of the whole night was.......::drum roll please::......singing waitress Devon Rush. First of all, "God Bless the Child" isn't an easy song to sing. And she gave a solid, confident performance with grit and originality. As Randy likes to say, girl could sing the phonebook! I'll put money on her in the top 50 for sure.

Ok now lets address the other "stand-outs".

My fav dude of the night award goes to Caleb Holly. He looked like the scruffy, slightly less attractive brother or Channing Tatum and he sang like Eric Hutchinson. He came out banging. I don't know who was more excited that he was there, him, or Steven Tyler who provided percussion and back up to his audition.

I'm going to take this moment to share my thoughts on Mr Tyler. I have to admit, I saw him last night on Jimmy Fallon and I wasn't impressed. He was neither cruel nor funny and his opinions seemed vague. I realize now that was PR coaching at its best, trying to make sure he didn't give anything away before the show aired. Cause in the first 5 min they were already bleeping him out, he was clapping along with the contestant's auditions (and providing back up vocals) and saying awesome shit like, "why do you have ju ju bees on your hoo hoo bees?" (referencing the idiot with the stars on her boobs). Other favorite Tyler moment, when he asked a contestant if they "ate a lot of paint chips when [they] were a kid". I'll miss Simon's screwed up insult analogies (you're what I call a bedroom singer, someone who sings in their bedroom and thinks they sound amazing but really your neighbors are sleepin ear plugs in) but so far I'm liking the trade for Mr T's blunt observations, extreme enthusiam for the music and twisted lingo.

Speaking of Miss "ju ju bees"...Ummm she gave a Jersey Shore hair teasing lesson...she had stars on her boobs....STARS ON HER BOOBS (read= cheap ploy to be on TV). Granted, I did like her, "you need meeeee, for higher ratings on tveeee" but it wasn't good enough for Hollywood. And in the past, if you were going to use such a cheap gimmick, you would really need to blow it out da water to get a ticket.

And this is where I'll share my thoughts on JLo, who I will now forever refer to as Miss Lo because some foreign press person called her that during a press conference. She is what we all wanted Kara to be but she wasn't. Miss Lo's stylist > Kara's by about a jillion. I had to remind myself to pay attention to the music instead of gawking at her gorgeous hair and skin. For crying out loud how does it glow so much?? Her hair was so perfectly coiffed, it almost made me less mad that she was so nice. She let through people with no star power. Kittens who will get eaten alive in H-wood. And she remembered that first opera girl from season 6? No frickin way. I don't buy that for a second. However I did appreciate her attempt at being honest with the one girl from Cote D'Ivoire, telling her it wasn't her accent, it was the singing.

And really Cote D'Ivoire girl (Achille Lovle if you care) was only 1 of 3 trainwrecks tonight. The others obviously include: the very Dwight Schrut-ish Michael who did a kermit-y rendition of Proud Mary and was then very insulted when they told him he should cease bringing song into the world and Yoshi Asano, gold jacket-ed Japanese MJ wanna-be crooning Miley's hit -"Party in the USA". I was laughing out loud to Yo yo's robotic and somewhat violent dance moves. Sometimes I feel bad laughing at one of my own like that...but it doesn't last long, thank goodness!

So what did you think tonight Idolers? Did you like the less cruel, less producer manipulated Idol we got tonight? Did you miss the more extensive back stories that usually crowd the initial audition city episodes? (I for one, did not). Are you feeling the Englishmen void? (Me, only slightly). And will Hollywood be fillled with minors?? Will the top 10 all sing birth year songs from the 90's? (Half of me is excited about that...other half not so much). Overall I'm feeling optimistic about the season if not also skeptical about who else we'll see in H-wood. I realize this turned into my own opening night Idol novel. Hope you enjoyed it! Nighty night lovelies. Osterbauer-OUT!

The Anti Idol, Idol Blog

2010-05-25T23:44:00.000-05:00

Brace yourself folks...I don't know if it's the rain[out] or the humidity or the fact that it's going to be another sleepless 60 hour work week for me but man, Idol is really just not doing it for me these days :( Did I just say that out loud?! Yowza...it's like the world just got turned on its head or something.

I don't want to make this a big complaining rant about what was wrong with tonight...but unfortunately I think i just dont have a choice.

First, they announce our two contenders for tonight and for some reason, someone thought it would be a GREAT idea if they walked down the aisles through the audience to get to the stage. Now this would be a perfect plan except for one minor problem. Crystal apparently cannot walk, high five fans and carry a microphone at the same time. She dropped the mic, they cut very quick to Lee so that we didn't see her crawling around on the floor to retrieve it, and then they cut back to Crystal, only to find her still confused and struggling to find the correct spot to stand in. Newsflash sweetheart, holding mics while walking and standing in the correct spot for the camera are all requirements for the American Idol. (Oh don't you worry, I have the same zingers for Mr Paint as well).

Mamasox won the coin toss and like a smart girl she chose to go second. So Lee is first and he reprises "The Boxer"...he was def more himself this round, not so nervous but the vocals weren't better than the first time. I would even venture to say I liked the first time better? Maybe because I wasn't expecting as much. I realize this is an emotional song for him but I would've picked "Simple Man" myself. I realize with the time constraints it's easier for them to do a song they've already done, but I would rather skip it and only hear new songs if I had a choice. Also, I seem to remember a certain Idol (D.Cook, cough) choosing to ixnay the old song in favor of a new one...so! It can be done!

Song #2- "Everybody Hurts"-I felt like this was a decent song choice for him but he didn't do too much with it. It was like Lee does REM the same way that Little A always did the Rascal Flatts version of every song he did.

Song#3-"Beautiful Day"- still just ok for me. He def has a lot more confidence now than he ever did and that shows. i found myself comparing it to D.Cook's U2 cover of "I Still Haven't Found..." and his was sooo much better! Lee is great...but he's no D.Cook. I do however like how Lee is losing his Hinder-ness...his actual singing voice is quite nice, no growling needed.

Crystal re-did "Me and Bobby McGee" which was obviously her best performance. I'm still underwelmed (to put it lightly) by her upper range. The difference in power and conviction from her mid-range to her upper range is too dramatic for me. It makes her upper range sound really weak and timid by comparison. For some reason more tonight than any other time..nerves or something maybe. The start was shakey, middle she warmed up a lot.

Song#2-"Black Velvet" really? Black Vel.vet. UGH. I'm so sick of hearing people do this song on Idol i could gauge my eyes out. As soon as they said it i was dreading it. She could've blown it out the water and I still wouldn't have been impressed. Can we talk about how Crystal should not try to be sexy? And especially not in heels? The camera angle at the beginning of the song made her look like she was the size of an orca. Seriously...a dude is clearly running that production room. While I enjoyed how they tried to take it to a more southern bluesy level, she over did it at the end. It was strained and over indulgent and I would say I'm surprised Simon didn't say anything except that he called her to win it so i felt like he was doing his best to make sure that happened by giving her glowing reviews. Which brings me to...

Song #3-"Up to the Mountain" are you fricking kidding me? Kelly sang this on the very first Idol Gives Back and I am telling you, i could listen to it every day. And every day it would bring me to that place, the place where you go when you hear a song and it's as if you're living in that moment and it's sort of like the soundtrack to your life. When she says "and I'll be working til the day i expire" I mean...when is there a day that i dont feel like that? Anywho-I felt the whole thing was blasphamous. Crystal's performance was good, but it didnt bring me to the place that Kelly's did.

Did anyone else feel like Crystal was acting especially cocky tonight? In the beginning when she was like, "wow this is a lot of people, how are you all doing?" and then when she congratulated Simon on being a good judge and wished him luck in the future? He's a millionaire. He doesn't need your luck. (Seriously, how big a bitch do I sound like right now? should I just quit and go to sleep?)

Welp, anyways...I am still kind of excited for the finale. Idol has a way of getting some pretty amazing duets and group numbers going sooo I'm still thinking something amazing could happen tomorrow night. And I don't care who wins. I don't really think (gasp!) that either of them deserve it. But someone has to win. And either way...I think I still will take last place in my Idol pool :(

And the "Simple Man" takes it home

2010-05-19T00:49:00.000-05:00

And then there were 3...3 people, only 1 can win and unfortunately for us, only 1 really showed up to win. But before I get into tonight too much, can we talk about how this season of Idol in general has been mostly a disappointment? Did you really ever feel as excited this season as you did about Adam or Kris or Kelly or Chris? Or even frickin Melinda Doolittle? Cause if we're being honest here, (and you know I am) I wasn't. There was 1...maybe 2....3 if I'm being really generous, "moments" that happened all season. 1. Big Mike's "Ready for Love"/"This Woman's Work" (take your pick, I'd go with "Ready" but it was sort of a timing thing for me). 2. Crystal-"Me and Bobby McGee" her best performance all season. 3. Lee Dewyze-"Hallelujah". But did any of these really compare to Adam's "Tracks of My Tears"? Or Kris Allen's "Ain't No Sunshine"? Or D. Cook's "Always Be My Baby"? I'm gonna go with NO. And I only voted, one time...for Crystal and Andrew. ONE TIME. There never came a moment for me where I said, "if so and so gets voted off I'm never watching this show again". That for me is a sign of a sluggish season.

The jury is still out on how I feel about Simon being gone next season. Yes, he sort of makes the show. But at the same time, I feel that his behavior has become somewhat mechanical in form. I could be Simon. I know all of his analogies (cruise ship, wedding, piano bar, karaoke, sitting in your bedroom, comparing performances to food) and all of his catch phrases: "dreadful, horrible, dying cat, frus-strated". So maybe if he leaves, someone else will come along and breath new life into a show the desperately needs it. Orrrrrr Simon will start up American X-factor and we'll all have a new show to watch. Either way, I'm interested to see what happens and hopeful that my favorite show/obsession isn't headed to oblivion. (Dear God, if it ends I might actually have to get a "real" hobby! ha ha what am I saying? There's still GLEE!)

Ok so back to tonight! Btw, totes sorry about lack of blog last week. (Baseball season= busy time for this bloggette.) The best way to recap tonight's festivities is to rank the top 3 from worst to best because the order of things was almost painfully clear.

Worst/3rd place finisher
SHOCKER! Mr Casey James from Cool, TX. How this long lost Hanson brother made this far, I have no idea. Maybe because Texas is such a large state? And all the locals were voting for him? Altho...the turnout he had at the local at&t store looked pretty dismal. I loved how the camera stayed in close so you couldn't see that the crowd was only 10 people deep at any spot. Casey's first attempt at the finale came in the form of Eric Hutchinson's-"Ok, It's Alright". And in the words of Randy "the dawg" Jackson, it was just that. Casey still sounded constipated. He had the bleeting some what in check but he did nothing original to the song and left me with the feeling that he knew he wasn't winning so he might as well pick something easy. The judges' pick for Casey was Mayer's "Daughters". I loved Kara's logic that it was a good choice because that's his fan base. Riiiight Kara. While softer and slower seemed better for Casey, it still wasn't a winning performance. Also the judges' bickering following him was obnoxious. I don't watch the show to see the judges fake fight with each other. I want to see people sing. This IS (as they like to remind us constantly) a singing competition after all. One more thing, umm is Kara on crack? How could she say that "Ok, It's Alright" would be a first listen for most people?

Middle Ground/2nd place finisher
Oh Crystal, you had a food run, but I think the pressure got to you and you maybe suffered a case of peaking too early. Her rendition of "Come to My Window" was good, but certainly not great. the beginning was shakey. She really needs to work on her higher register and giving substance or softer notes. And for someone who usually makes everything seem totally effortless, she actually sounded strained in parts. I also didn't see this as an "in-it-to-win-it" performance. Her second attempt with "Maybe I'm Amazed" was much better. She finally put some gusto behind it and reminded us how great she can be again. I also loved how she didn't change the "he"'s to "she"s and vice versa. I generally am not a fan of that practice.

Ladies and Gents, I present to you, the winner-Lee Dewyze
(and FYI I hate that they keep referring to him as a paint salesman).
Lee chose to play round 1 with "Simple Man". What a difference a trip home makes. The insecure Lee, the one whose eyes wanted to look anywhere but in those of his fans was standing tall, smiling crooked and loving every adoring eye in that place. He followed it with the only "moment" of the night singing what's probably one of the most over done Idol songs, Hallelujah. I pretty much hated Simon for picking this for Lee since so many have done it and some have actually done it really well. But then he started and I was like fuck. He did it. It's all over. The violins came in, and then the choir and he went all gospel, sang in falsetto! and i was lost in a sea of Lee-ness. Crystal who? Yeah. It's all over. Those blue eyes and that goatee have it in the bag.

The Shania Train... Never Left the Station IMO

2010-04-27T23:45:00.000-05:00

I don't know what was up with Idol tonight...so many things were wrong I considered (gasp!) not even writing what is now going be the biggest complainer blog ever. Lets start with the opening which seriously gets more and more ridiculous every show. The dizzying zoom done to every contestant as Ry Ry branded them all: the paint salesman, the high school student, the mother, the glass blower, the father and the contruction worker (sounds like lego land characters). Not sure why exactly but it really bothers me that he keeps referring to Lee as a "paint salesman"...not that there's anything wrong with that profession, but I feel unlike the others, his is a mis-representation of who he really is? I.e calling Crystal a mother for example is a defining title for her and it accurately describes her. Siobhan is a weirdo, so of course she blows glass; Aaron is 12, duh, he's in school...and so on. Casey has all of 12 brain cells, his only choice is to work construction...and sing karaoke.... oh and play guitar and be a man slave for Kara.

Shania may not be everyone's cup of tea but I rather enjoy her songs, even if too many of their titles end in "!". They're not maybe what one would call "high quality" per se...but that's not really her thing...she's fun and sassy, simple. I was kind of disappointed in her mentoring ability. She didn't seem to offer anything other than to tell contestants that they should really feel the music, do what feels right to them.

Lee was up first with "You're Still the One". I still feel like he equates "soft and slow" with being emotionally involved. The way he sort of cuts off the end of important phrases drives me insane. There were some subtle changes in the melody he made at the beginning that I liked but in the end he went all Hinder on me and I didn't like that. "All aboard the Shania Twain" Ellen? I don't think so.

Big Mike went with "It Only Hurts When I Breathe" and I actually liked his version better than hers. The melody doesn't really seem to match the mood of the lyrics but when Mike did it, he was able to capture more of the sadness. It was another lovely, Maxwell-esque performance...which has become so commonplace for him now, it's getting boring. I think he should've chosen something else that would challenge him more.

Casey Casey Casey, a couple things, 1. Please tell your stylist you look best with your hair off your face 2. Stop singing in that nasally strained tone that makes it sound like you're pushing out a huge dump. I wanted to like that performance, i really did but all i could think was, Casey is constipated,.

Crystal did my fave Shania tune, "No One Needs to Know" and she turned it into a kind of blue grassy sorta thang. It was good...not great. I like her better when she's more soulful and gritty. This was to light for her and she had nothing to grab onto when she went for those high notes.

Little Aaron, I swear I think that laryngitis did a number on his throat or something. Ever since he was sick he lost that really crisp clear tone he had at the beginning. It's gotten quite scratchy which takes away from his Rascal Flatt-ness. He did "You've Got a Way" which he dedicated to his mom. Awww sweet. Except for the song is totally a love song and that makes the whole thing awkward!

Siobhan-someone had to do it, might as well be you, "Any Man of Mine"...unlike Randy "the dawg" Jackson, I was hating on that trailer trash prom dress she had on. For once, just once, I would like to see footwear on her that actually goes with the outfit. JUST ONCE. Siobhan is as weird and awkward as can be, and that doesn't really translate into "sassy" very well. I still think she's holding back a bit on the verses. I get that she wants to build up to something but i think she puts so much energy into not letting go too soon that the opening lines come across as flat emotionally. (Kara likes to say connected, I like to say emotion-k-). The only good part, was at the very end, the very last line when she finally put some grit on it

I vote Casey or Aaron hits the road tomorrow. But i won't be shocked if it's Siobhan either. Next week better top this week...when I find myself distracted from someone's performance bc I'm watching the Newsfeed on fb, you know the show isn't very good.

Inspirational Ms. Alicia Keys Finds Success in One

2010-04-20T23:59:00.000-05:00

Alicia Keys! I'll say it again, ALICIA KEYS! Words can not express how much I love her. Seriously. Not that Usher wasn't a great mentor or isn't an accomplished performer, but I feel like Alicia is the first "real" mentor. She is someone who is actually an amazing singer,song writer,musician and performer. I remember when I first saw her in concert and right before she sang "If I Ain't Got You" she talked about how much she loved that song and really believed in it and how she could sing it a million times and love it every time and you could tell when she sang it that she meant it. And that she feels the meaning of that song every time she does it. I feel like that's what makes someone a real singer. Ok I'm done raving about her and spreading my theory on singing. But really, Alicia! For Inspiration Week no less!

So for having what seeming to be the perfect formula for success, I felt that really, only 2 people were actually inspiring, and some might argue only 1. So lets start with the least inspiring of the bunch, shall we??

Casey James-are you tryin to bore me to death? Casey's formula for success is: blues song+ raging guitar solo+ smile like a doofus= remaining on the show. Unfortunately for him, I no think this going to work this week. In addition to the fact that he did the exact same thing he always does, it wasn't even as good as it normally is. Even his golden locks could not distract me from the fact that he just sounded really strained and weak. Also, my least favorite answer to the question, "why did you pick that song?" is "I just love that song". No one cares that you love the song Casey. If you can't connect the song to a particular anecdote, then say something clever/witty/painfully honest.

Siobhan inspired me to lay off lip gloss and to leave dresses that look like window shades on the shelf. And also to beware of the eye brow pencil. "When You Believe" seemed very out of character for her also she was doing that thing where she was so restrained, the emotion fell short. It seemed like she was too wrapped up in technical stuff and the idea of the song was lost. Also, I'm very fed up with her "epic-y" speeches where she makes some sort of general statement in a bold tone which sort of champions her self worth but doesn't really apply to the context of the show. Last week it was "I don't want to be pigeon holed as one kind of singer, there are many sides to me" (sure, as a person you can have many different sides, as a professional singer in the music industry, you have to pick a genre to be succesful) and this week it was "I don't want the original performer of the song to scare me away from it" (fine sister, don't get scared, just let everyone compare you to two of the most stylized singers to ever grace the planet). I mean did she really think she could top this?

The judges and I were in major disagreement regarding Mr. Lee Dewyze tonight. I dunno if it's cause I'm still not fully on board the Lee train urr what but, I was not hearing the same thing they were. To me he sounded a little whiney and the way he phrased the lines took away from the meaning. Kara thought he was having a moment? His best performance? Uhhhh i don't think so.

Really i kinda felt Lee, Tim (Turban! hah!) and Aaron were on an even playing field tonight. I picked Tim over only because I liked his song choice better. I felt like he really made Goo Go Dolls' "Better Days" his version and it sounded nice...I kind of like how sometimes he sounds like a character in a musical.

Aaron...oh Little Sweet Aaron, OF course you picked "I Believe I Can Fly". Once again this was another case of "Rascal Flatts-does-[insert song title here]" but it was good. He still must have song laryngitis or sumthin cause there were parts where he was struggling and sounding a little hoarse. I also felt like since Alicia told him not to go overboard he held back a little too much. Did anyone else notice when they flashed to his family right when he finished how none of them looked impressed? They all had the look like, "uh oh, that wasn't very good".

To the best 2 of the night....Big Mike. Out of all the songs, Big Mike picked a song by Nickelback. Really? I don't feel like this song is inspirational in the spirit of Idol Gives Back, that said, I did really like his rendition. I loved how at the beginning it started out very slow, soft and gentle, "I'm so high, I can see Heaven" and then it hit this sort of build up with the "And they're watching us" over and over til the big finish at the end. Very cool.

Too bad for Big Mike, Crystal brought her big guns to make everyone forget everything else they just saw. She started "People Get Ready" with this awesome acapella opening and then when the music came in and she brought it to church! To. Church. I'm not a huge religous/gospel kind of person but there are moments in songs where I feel like, whoever's up there, the heavens are opening up and they're shining down on us. And this was one of those moments. At the end where she kind of botched one note, I was like oops and then I realized it was because gurl was crying! Shoo. So confession time, snarky me was like ok Crystal, you almost quit the show and now you just ended that performance in tears, if those two things weren't perfectly positioned ploys for votes, I dunno what is. But then regular me, was like, ohhh I feel so bad for her and she must have really been feeling that song. So i can see it both ways. Bottom line tho, that was awesome.

If I had to pick, I'd put Casey, Siobhan and Turban on the bottom 3 list...with Siobhan going home? But we'll see.

1 For the Money, 2 for the Show: Idol Does Elvis

2010-04-13T23:49:00.000-05:00

It is Elvis week on Idol and I actually found it quite fitting to have Adam Lambert as the mentor even though he's only a 1 year alum of the show. Elvis and Adam...similar hair...similar swagger, snarl, pelvic thrusting...it all works! Did anyone else think Adam was looking especially hot tonight? I dunno what it is about men and eyeliner but its a rare occassion that I do not find it attractive i.e Jack Sparrow rrrrrr. I know Adam doesn't ride the VJJ highway, and underneath that hair dye and air brushed foundation he's actually a red headed freckled guy, but still....he's hot. And here I am getting side tracked....which speaking of, did you find Ry Ry's comment about his tongue not being as talented as Adam's more hilarious orrrrrr more just uncomfortable? I went to the hilarious side but I'm guessing more family friendly viewers were not amused. Maybe if that pause after he said it hadn't been so long?

Behhh whatevs...to the show!

I would put tonight's performances into 2 very distinct groups: "Awesome, Solid Performances" annnnnnd
"On The Chopping Block". Lets start with the second shall we? (I prefer to end things on a happy note).

I would've said this was the worst of the night, except that the other two were just as bad but for different reasons. Little Aaron, sweet sweet innocent Aaron. If you don't think a song fits you (even for a hilarious reason such as you're 17 and the song talks about boozing), then mayyyy-be, you should reconsider that choice? Just a thought. And that's not to say that Aaron didn't do a decent job singing. He did alright. But the whole thing felt very....ummm...forced? Bad acting? I literally was stiffling my giggles at this kid trying to play hard ass up on that stage. Pop your collar more son, that'll help.....riiiight. Oy. No mas. Also, was it me or did the camera seem to be sweeping across the kid's crotch quite a bit? (I know how pedophily that sounds, and I'm sorry but I had to mention it).

It kills me to say this...but really Andrew...what the frick was going on? I give Andrew a giant "E" for effort on his version of "Hound Dog" because you could tell what he was going for with the whole sort of island loungy vibe but he didn't commit to it fully and it came off sort of half assed. I was happy he did something original, I just wish it would've been more ear pleasing...I was glad Ellen liked it. I felt like, she got what he was trying for and she liked it for that reason.

Why they were so gaga over this, I have no clue. I'm convinced that with Katie and Tim, they're judging them against themselves instead of the other contestants. Katie cannot shake the pageant quality she has even when she's doing something sassy. It's like I can see the stage mom off to the side doing the same head bob/shanay nay niqua thing Katie was doing. She sang pretty well...but her tone isn't gritty enough to sound for real angry/sassy. Instead we got, "Miss Idol 2010 singing round". Also, would it have killed her to remove 1 or 2 of those necklaces? Why does the accessory monster throw up on her every single week?

Ummm and sorry to say but, so much for saving Big Mike. I hope you really enjoyed that last song buddy cause, you bored me to tears! To tears! Mike's "In the Ghetto" was very nice, very pretty, well sung....but I didn't feel any kind of emotion behind it. I guess for Mikey to actually feel a song he needs to connect it to his woman ur sumthin. The heart and soul that was in "This Woman's Work" and "Ready for Love" was completely absent on this one. If the fans weren't with him last week, I somehow don't see him dodging the 2 person bullet this week....jus sayin'.

In the Solid category we have....Siobhan...I kind of went back and forth with her, thought about making her own category but I just uhhh didnt feel like it. She did prob my favorite Elvis song, "Suspicious Minds" and she chose to go the mellow opening...into big ending route which was fine...not my fav but the effect of course was there. I liked how she seemed so much in awe of meeting Adam and it was cute the way he seemed to smile at her like she was some kind of girl mini me of himself. At the climax of the song, it seriously sounded like she was singing Janis' "Cry Baby" didn't it? Something to watch for if they do a Rock week or something...I like both of Siobhan's "voices" however I wish she would put more oomph behind her softer voice. I think she equates softness to sadness and she forgets to add the intensity.

Casey,Casey, Casey (ode to Randy right thur) you should really tell your hairstylist to pull it back like that more often. 8 out of 10 women (and men?) agree you look mucho better this way :) Casey is riding this blues train into the final 5 i think...he's so good...he just needs to learn how to arrange songs for maximum entertainment value and watch that machine gun vibrato...bothers me.

How fricking hilarious was it when Ry Ry called Tim, "Turban"?? Oh man...so wrong on so many levels. Yet so right at the same time! Doing my second favorite Elvis song "Cant Help Falling in Love" Turban actually did a really nice job! Adam was totes right about the guitar being super pretty. I felt like he was the uber cute boy next door, climbing up to my window to sing me a song! So sweet....and those puppy dog eyes...oh lord. Ellen compared him to tequila shots, Simon got to use his favorite Idol catch phrase- "0 to hero" and all the world was right. Did anyone else think this was yet another Tim number that could've been a Castro number (and prob would've been better if it was?)

Lee-is like my tequila shots...if we're talking in Ellen terms...which I guess I am. At first I hated him, I thought he sounded like a 'dying cow' and then he came at me with a sound that was a pleasant and now I caught myself even liking that dying cow sound. Shoooo. Just goes to show, there's a time a place for growling, and it's during "A Little Less Conversation".

Crystal shines like the sun when she is in full blues sassy swing mode. For some reason, and i think it's cause i recently watched Syesha do "yesterday" on youtube...but I keep wanting to randomly go "Oh looooo"...anyone relate to me on this one? Anywho, after watching Crystal...that's what i was I thinking-"Oh looo". She is awesome. 2nd coming of Bonnie Raitt, indeed.

Side note: I love Crystal, Andrew and Big Mike....and I can appreciate their desire to provide for their families and turn their lives around, however, I do not appreciate this as a primary motivation to win Idol. And frankly, I wish they would all stop mentioning it. Ry Ry, that means you too. It's not like any of them are living in cardboard boxes right now. Cinderella stories work only when you come from nothing, and when the main focus isnt the money, it's the dream. So lets keep that in mind shall we? Even if it's not true.

Also, RyRy was especially squirrly tonight no? I cannot stand when he infuses ghetto slang into his lexicon. Ry Ry, you're maybe the whitest TV show host ever. Saying things such as "Sup?" only make you sound silly, not hip and/cool. Why was he holding onto that random girl's shoulders when they got back from the ad break? And why was he burying himself into the swaybots before Casey's performance? I no undastand. Dear Ry Ry, a little less cocaine next time..mmm-kay?

And that's it! Two peeps going home tomorrow. Osterbauer-OUT!

P.S I think I might need to invest in Rhianna's cat suit from last week....

Lennon & McCartney Make it All 'Come Together'

2010-04-08T13:24:00.000-05:00

Beatles week has had a history of being good for Idol. Something about those catchy melodies and timeless lyrics seem to bring out the best in some contestants (D'Archie, D.Cook and Syesha). And even though one person usually has a mistep, on the other end, we usually get at least one "moment" out of the bunch which is the reason I love Idol. For the "moments"...it's Bo Bice accapella, Katherine Mcphee "Over the Rainbow", Lakisha Jones-"And I'm Telling You I'm Not Going", Adam Lambert-"Mad World"/"Tracks of My Tears" and tonight, I don't know if the songs were quite that amazing, but we had a few who reached for it.

Lets start at the beginning, where we first saw Kara and realized something was terribly amuck with her make up. I couldn't decide if it was the neutral lipstick or the caked on concealer but sumthin was not right there! If an alien saw her on the show they would've prob recognized her as one of their own. Also, note to self Kara Wara, unless you're on the stage, lets tone it down on the sequins...mmm-kay?

Aside from Kara's style issues I really felt like almost everyone did a decent job tonight except for 1 person. Little Aaron. Poor guy. Not sure if he was sick or what but the beautiful tone he has was very absent and he was flatter than flat for most of the song. The whole performance of "Long and Winding Road" was a real sleeper for me. If America chooses the let the worst of the night go home again, this kid is in trouble, he's bottom 3 material fo sho'. I'm callin that fo sho'.

In the middle, the ones who had really decent performances in order from worst to best:
Tim- you gotta hand it to that kid. He knows what he can do and he does it the best that he can. And really even if you find it slightly obnoxious, he does have the right attitude. He's on one of the most successful shows on TV so if he has the take some hard criticism here and there, who cares? Was it just me, or did he look like he was missing a tooth during that performance? Weird.

I'm going to go ahead and say Siobhan was worse than Andrew even though it might not really be true. The way Siobhan's make up looked made me feel like they're hiring these people straight from the Clown Make up University. Talk about going crazy with the eyebrow pencil. Yowza. And I pretty much thought her lips were liquid they had so much gloss on them. I sort of loved her ensemble which looked like it was taken from early 90's couture. Her performance was good, but almost too restrained...it felt like it pained her to not let go more. The restraint and control didn't seem genuine to me. It was more of a show of skill than the way she actually felt the song and I say that acknowledging her crocodile tears about her sisters, whom we've never seen. Also I'm freaked out by them letting "Yelling Guy" up on stage to hug her. I would've made a fast hand signal to keep that weirdo away from me if I were her. Gross.

Andrew, who apparently is deep in the midst of a hot bromance with Lee (and here we thought he was lesbian!), gave us a really decent version of "Can't Buy Me Love". It started out very Maroon 5 and then kinda got slightly corny and then the breakdown breathed some new life into it. It wasn't spectacular but it was good. And I love Andrew sooo...I love everything he does generally.

I hate to admit it but I really enjoyed Katie last night. Her version of "Let it Be" was honest and solid, not over the top and she was able to change things here and there in the melody without taking away from the song. And she looked cute with the open back hot pink dress and overload of accessories. I thought the same thing Simon said about this performance sounding more country...it was country/soul but I'm def over the judges' endless arguing regarding which genre suits her best. Last night she sounded very Bomshel-ish.

Lee- Crap on you Lee. I was determined not to like you and now look what you've done. You're getting all confident on the stage and you're singing more sans growl which actually results in a sound that's quite pleasant. And you had to do "Hey Jude" this week... with a bag piper... that Simon hated.... and you still took total credit for it. Ata boy. I'm sold. Crap.

On to the potential moments!

Crystal- "Come Together", one of my fav Beatles songs ever. I prefer the MJ version best but Crystal's has now moved into my#2 spot. I love love love how everything for her comes off as being SO effortless. She was perfectly sassy and soulful. Every note has a deliberateness that makes even the subtle parts of the song awesome. I love her. I mean....if you couldn't tell.

Big Mike-"Eleanor Rigby" It sounds weird but when he first started, the song, it had a very Panic At the Disco-esque feel to it. The minor chords and the dark feel was very dramatic. It was really theatrical but it still seemed to be riding the wave of theater and radio friendliness. Def a lot different Cookie's version.

Casey James- resident "Goldilocks" with the big laugh came on top tonight with his rendition of "Jealous Guy". I kinda thought the tempo he picked was a little slow, but then he kind of got into this whole emotional Gavin-ish thing happening and I was totes loving it. Nothing like a sweet blues singer and his guitar. Sometimes I still feel like the guitar is front and center instead of Casey but really tonight it wasn't.

And that's it Idoloonies. Can you believe it? I'm not even sure who got voted off last night...should probs get on that and send out new Idol pool standings...laterzzzz Osterbauer-OUT

Usher rules "backstage" Idol

2010-03-31T23:11:00.000-05:00

Oh Usher, you might be the ultimate narcissist, (new album Raymond vs Raymond (to express his 'dicotomy') and 2, that's right I said 2 of his kids are named Usher Raymond) but that said, your hot ass has my approval to be the Idol mentor any day of the week.

First up tonight was Siobhan. Ush told her to wear something nice which meant giiirrrlll, funny glasses+hair thing+wacky tights= too much. She successfully ruined Chaka Kahn's "Through the Fire" by injecting it with her Lambert scream. The judges were less than impressed but only Simon had the balls to point out the scream is getting old. After the ad break, Idol took us to where we've never been before which is following the most recent performer backstage for their post performance reaction. Siobhan who received her first set of negative commentary was on the brink of tears before they went to commercial and when they came back we saw her walk into the holding room, NO ONE got up to comfort her and only one person asked her if she was alright. She replied "don't worry about it" in a kind of annoyed tone, picked up some food and sat down and sulked/cried. Even if they told the kids they would be following them like that, i still felt bad for her. No one likes someone who's sour, even if they have a right to be (which in this case is debatable) and now not only do we know she's a pouter, but we also know she's the Idol outcast!

Casey did a pretty cool performance of "Hold On I'm Comin" and I've definitely never seen the kid look so dang happy before which was refreshing, however he didn't do anything original with the song and his voice isn't very unique. He made me wish for days past of Michael Johns....le sigh.

My best of the night award goes to Big Mike for his version of India Arie's "Ready for Love". Once again Mike's ability to communicate the feelings behind the lyrics made this an amazing performance. I'd be lying if i said it didn't hit just a little too close to home. If his main objective is to break hearts, consider this one mission accomplished. Tears in eyes...done and done.

Emotions continue to runneth over with Didi's performance of "What Becomes of the Broken Hearted". Poor girl cannot stop crying! Even Ush was all..."uhhh Didi is an emotional soul". My guess is that she sang that song at her friend's funeral...the one she mentioned when she first auditioned. If she could just stay on pitch I think she would be so awesome. I love her sort of Regina Spector meets Ingrid Michaelson style...if she could just rein it in a bit! And how come no one said anything about that dress?? Hell-O!

Tim---oh sweet sweet Tim. I finally found the reason why you're still in the competition! Hell-O! How old is this kid again? Why do I feel like a pedophile all of a sudden? What was I just doing? Ohhh right...blog...Idol

I loved when Ush Ush was telling Timmy how to imagine singing to a woman. Yes Ush...I'm sure drawing an outline of a womans body with your hands totally helps imagine how much you love a woman....whether he was serious about that or not...it was hilarious to watch and that's the important thing really. Tim sucked like we all knew he would and then he laughed at the end, because why? Because he knows he sucks and he knows it doesn't matter. He'll just keep smiling at those 12 years olds and sending the subliminal message through his pearly whites to dial dial dial...Even Simon knew better than to comment. It doesn't matter what he says...these girls are voting for 1 reason and 1 reason only...hint: <----

So my second fave of the night goes to Mr. Andrew Garcia who thank you Lord got his groove back. FINALLY. Wowza. In the hands of Chris Brown's "Forever" Andrew was carried back to the top. He turned a pop dancey number into this really sweet fun acoustic jam complete with strings. Icing on the cake was Mama Garcia in her zebra print vest getting ready to box Simon for saying he son had no personality.

Katie and/ her stylist seem to think more accessories= looking younger...and better even more so if they're plastic and rainbow colored. They chose giant necklace,giant ring and giant earrings to go with the most unflattering jumpsuit ever. Luckily the producer tried to make sure the camera stayed at more becoming angles, i.e just her face. She did sing well but it was all very robotic the way she did it. The judges really loved it and when she went backstage she was greeted by a stampede of hugs from the other contestants.

Lee...if i didn't dislike Lee so much...I would've thought this was awesome...but I do dislike him soooo it was only good. haha I know I know...he's growing on me dammit! His version of "Treat Her Like a Lady" had just the right amounts of John Mayer-Jonny Lang-Kings of Loen...for once in his life his softer lower notes didn't sound like shit and when he really got into it the gritty part of his voice it didn't sound so much like poop. Judges adore him...I'm not quite sold yet...but I'm getting there.

Crystal--"Midnight Train to Georgia"..ok umm she was awesome per usual but I could live without ever hearing this song on Idol ever again.

Aaron- "Aint No Sunshine" apparently Little A missed last season when Kris Allen totally slayed this song beyond anything...Ush was tring to tell Little A how to do the "I know I know I know I know" and what he shouldve done is used Kris performance from last year as tutorial.

My guess is Siobhan could be in trouble and so could Didi...it's a little bit harder to choose since most everyone did well tonight except for them. I would put Aaron in the bottom 3 if i didn't know every 12 year old girl and their grandma were voting for him. I finally voted, 20 votes for Crystal and 20 for Andrew!

Ding Dong Paige is Gone

2010-03-25T13:25:00.000-05:00

Who has two thumbs and is not surprised? Oh, ME! It would've been a bigger shock if she hadn't gone home, right?? You should not be allowed to screw up a song that badly and stay in the competition. It just wouldn't be right. I know I just went backwards there but c'mon...we all knew she was a goner...if America had any sense in the world. She needed to be cut loose!

In other results night news...the top 11 did their best lip syncing this week to WHAM's "classic" hit "Wake Me Up". Here's what I saw...Siobhan has the cheesiest smile ever. Casey hates his life during these group numbers and Katie is now sporting pieces from the Miley Cyrus line at Walmart.

Right when the show started, the camera lingered on a girl that looked like a vampire...blood running down her mouth and chest....and I was like..huh...weird...I wonder if there's some Rob Pattinson thing happening tonight....and then come to find out later on when Siobhan introduces us to her boss, who's not shaving til she wins, is sitting right next to this girl. And it's of course, one of Siobhan's friends. She's first up and she basically says, she screamed because she knew she'd get a lot of votes and then she'd have a better chance of making the top 10. Shes in. Then Lee and Casey stand up. They get reviewed and then out of no where Tim and Paige are asked to stand up. And very quickly learn they are both in bottom 3, Lee and Casey are in.

Break for Miley Cyrus to perform "When I Look at You". The grand piano, the fake trees with the Xmas lights was all very high school prom. I actually kind of like this song and I liked seeing Miley at the piano. But when she got up and then started head banging, I didn't get it.

Back to results: Aaron-In, Didi-In, Big Mike who is STILL working the baby train for all it's worth-In, Crystal-In (love when she said she'll do what she wants, not what Simon or Kara wants), Andrew-In and oh darn, Katie- bottom 3 for you! Only to be sent back to safety moments later...what a waste.

Then Demi and Joe Jonas sang a duet, "Make a Wave"...which was supposed to be inspirational but Demi missed it and decided "making a wave= make a body roll". Also, are her eyebrows fake? Or simply over-shaped? I don't know what it is but I'm sick of Disney stars seducing me with their cuteness and overly catchy songs..."youuu are the thunderrr and iiiiii am the lightningggg" oops...must.get.song.out.of.head.

Finally the decision we all hoped was coming, Paige is donzo. Tim is in. And to make the elimination even more humiliating? less painful? After Ry Ry tells Paige she's singing "for her life" Simon cuts in to say, no matter how you sing, you're ass is grass lady. Ok not like that exactly but close enough. Poor girl. A testament to how awful she was, the best song she sang on the show was the first one she ever did. So long girlfriend. Osterbauer-OUT!

Hot 100 Produces Mediocrity Save for 1

2010-03-24T22:29:00.000-05:00

Top 11 and the best they could do was "Hot 100" for the theme? And worse, Miley Cyrus as the "mentor"? Uhhh what the? I don't think 17 years olds should mentor anyone for anything...even if they do have a hit TV show and have sold a bajillion records...I'm pretty sure that for as much star quality she has, there are a lot of hard working adults making a lot of that happen. I know part of this is my age bias...but really? Miley?

Tonight I really felt like the focus of the show was on money makers...at the beginning all Simon talked about was how this night was the most important for the contestants' "careers"...there's still 11 of them left...are they really at the point where they can consider what they're doing "a career"? The ratio of Idol contestants from the top 12 who actually end up being sucessful is usually 1/4....sometimes less (season 3 cough...Fantasia's year cough). As much as this show is a large part of the music business...I still like to see it as a contest at an amateur level. Although it is important for contestants to start looking more like stars and less like country bumpkins...I don't think their primary motivation should be the $$...that sort of ruins it for me. I want to believe the reward of a dream cme true should be enough for these kids even if it isn't true. But I digress...on to the show!

I loved Simon's crack about Kara feeling like every song has a "story or journey" when he added, "a hill or a mountain" to that list poking fun at the song she wrote for last years finals "No Boundaries".

First up tonight was Lee Dewyze doing "The Letter"...I felt like the lead singer of Hinder was trying to sing Michael Buble...it didn't make sense to me. It wasn't terrible..but it certainly wasn't good...and wasn't helping him make top 10 or help people see what kind of an artist he'll be. The timing felt off and he fell flat at the end. Also, Ellen needs to keep her extra long analogies to herself. Lee= fav pen= not funny.

Good things about Paige...I'm going to Paula on this one and say Paige has beautiful skin and whoever picked out her jewelry should become my new best friend. Other than that, i can safely say her terrible tone deaf performance of "Against All Odds" was one of the worst I've ever heard from a top 12 finalist...that goes down in history next to Meghan Joy's "Rockin Robbin" and even that was more in tune. Yowza!

Next worst-Tim "Jonas hair" Urban...oh my...Miley was clearly seduced by the Jonas hair, giving Timmy a hug and declaring for once and for all that he is NOT boring. Riiiight. Tim bounces around the stage Zac Efron style and the girls are lovin it...he completes the theatrics with a slide across the stage...cute but didnt help out the vocals any. Kara sees straight through that hairand went all gangsta biatch on the poor little guy saying he was "actin like he got it already when he don't" uhmmm hmmmm Either her husband effed up or it she was mad pms-ing cause even I thought her critique was harsh. What was he supposed to do? He's a teenager on national TV with 50 girls screaming and trying to touch him...woudn't that make any guy feel like hot shit? jus' sayin...

Aaron...awwww he <3's Miley! So cute....young love....le sigh. That's how I'd be if I were on Idol and this guy was the mentor...hah! So this says a lot about the performances Tuesday...Little Aaron had laryngitis AND tonsilitis and he was probably one of the top 3 performances of the night! He pretty much "Rascal Flatt-fied" Aerosmith's "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" but it was good and if anything, the extra grit in his voice gave him more conviction.

Crystal--the great hope of Season 9...the only non boring truly geniune confident person on the show. She delivered the best of the night with "Me and Bobby McGee". The last half of the song was seriously awesome. She can really wail...you kind of forget sometimes but whoa...awesome.

Big Mike-"When a Man Loves a Woman" so watching this, I thought it was awesome, right? But then I listened the judges and how they hated it because it was too corny and I had.....a revelation! I LIKE corny! hahaha especially of the romantic variety...I thought Big Mike felt every word of that song...and really gave new meaning to the line, "turn his back of his best friend, if he put her down". I get what they were saying but, I just love the cheeeeeeeeese baby!

Andrew ditched his guitar and strapped on dancing shoes we didn't need to see for "I Heard it Through the Grapevine". Once again...he loses the battle with song choice. Pick up your guitar buddy and give us something good! Jeebus!

Katie meets Miley and suddenly remembers that she's a teenager! I really thought the opening verse of the song was pretty good...she even put her own little spin on it and I was like...hmm this could be happening...but then oops, the chorus hit and it was all over. It was a fast trip to Pitchy City and she never looked back.

Casey James-karaoke version of "Power of Love"...even though you have access to a full band, including horns...it doesn't always mean you should use them. I think if he would've ditched the horns and made it into some kind of bluesy number, it couldve been cool and different. Instead I was bored to tears...

Didi- "You're No Good"...the judges hated it but I really liked it. It was like watching a sassy Ingrid Michaelson. They said she was pitchy and I guess i didn't notice...I thought she sounded fine. I like her whole sweet-girl-with-attitude thing she has going on. Bottom line anyways is that her voice is awesome. And she's the only backtalker I've ever seen on the show that didn't annoy me.

Siobhan fashions hair into mohawk and wails for her life to seal spot in top 10. Yup...she found a spot to do the Lambert scream in "Superstition". Don't get me wrong...I'm a fan of hers...but she could do for a couple weeks sans scream...I'm getting bored with it already.

That's it! On to the results night blog...P.S if you're wondering why I posted this blog with a pic from last week's results show...it;s bc i was going to put up a pic of Paige but I didn't like any of them and I saw this one instead! haha

The Circus That Was The Results Show...

2010-03-19T13:35:00.000-05:00

I just watched Idol...I know I know...late...well that's what happens when you work 12 hours and then stay awake just long enough for 1 beer on St Patrick's day because you worked 12 hours and it's necessary.

Umm can we talk about what a clusterfuck the show was?? I mean really? I feel like I just watched 3 shows in one. First we have Irish lighting guy Keiran jazzing up the place with the green lighting and corny public access graphics, then we have Simon and Ry Ry doing their fake fighting/flirting routine which is so old it's beyond me. Then we have 3, 3 performers! Only 1 of which was any good by the way....but anyways...in other news....

Returning for season 9, Ford commercials! I actually kind of like these. The song was left to be desired but I find joy in pin pointing which contestant is the most awkward and/who they dressed up to look 100 times better than normal. I also liked seeing how they designed their cars. Only Lee's had his signature on it....sorry to burst your bubble dude but no one would want your scribble on their car. (For all you Lee-loverz, don't even care if I have to eat my words later on that one). Also returning: the judges' save; the unanimous decision to keep an ousted contestant in for another week. Greaaaaaat.....more fake deliberations....

So, to the results! First Paige, with the announcement that she's bottom 3, my "going first= safe" theory goes out window. Then Lee-safe, Siobhan-safe, Aaron-safe, then Andrew and Tim--Tim bottom 3.

Ring 2 of the circus is Orianthi who should stick with guitar and give up the singing. She only sounds alright on the actual record and substantially less than that live. Her voice is just not pleasant to listen to. And she didn't even look as hot on the show as she did in the MJ movie. I think she must have had the same half blind make-up artists Kara had because she was suffering from make-up induced lazy eye.

Back to the results: Didi-safe, Crystal-safe, also she reiterated that Simon was the one who predicted her win and she in no way ever felt she had it in the bag. She's so sincere. I feel like if another contestant would've said the same thing, I wouldn't have believed them...but I do with her. Katie-safe, Big Mike-safe.

Ok so ummm everything I wrote up until this point was last night (Thursday) and now it's Friday and I'm at work on lunch and I left my Idol notes at home :( boo. Ok well...basically all that was left was, Lacey is bottom 3.

Bring on the love of my life, David Cook. OMG....how I love D.Cook....let me count the ways...yeah yeah...so they cut his hair weird...but still adore him. Pretty sure if I met him tomorrow and he proposed I'm 80% sure I'd say yes...He was awesome...sounded good...decent song...new album coming out (YES!) And as always so gracious...mensch.

Ok so then I think at this point they told Timmy that he was actually safe...not surprising since that smile should keep him in for at least another week. Especially if he doesn't manage to completely mis-interpret a song next week.

Then we had Ke$ha...who I love but she was tore up. And I felt compelled to write her a letter.

Dear Ke$ha,
You are not Lady Gaga. Please stop trying to be. Your glitter eye and silver metallic corset and hot pants looked like cheap trailer trash equivalent of Gaga...also please learn an actual dance routine or maybe just stand there. You looked like a drunk girl half assing it out there so as not to embarrass yourself...too late sister. Also, if you're going on a family friendly show, don't sing "Blah Blah Blah" because "I don't really care where you live at, just turn around boy, let me get that, don't be a little chick with your chit chat, just show me where your (pause) at" just isn't the same. Actually my fav change was, instead of "Put a little love in my glove box" you said, "You got a lot of talk in glove box" yeah that makes perfect sense. Try "Tic Tok" next time.
Thanks, Sarah

New change this year that I'm loving...the ousted contestant gets to sing any song they want! It doesn't have to be the one they did that week. I still thinkt hey shouldn't have to sing at all cause people singing and crying just sounds awful but at least it's possible they might do a song they're actually good at now. So we all got treated to a reprise of "The Story". Not too shabby.

And thats it Idol loverz! Osterbauer-OUT!

Idol does Rolling Stones-"You Can't Always Get What You Want" is right!

2010-03-16T23:36:00.000-05:00

Hello Idol lovers and my new favorite target audience....fellow Idol-poolers! Welcome to your Top 12 night recap. Lets get this party started shall we? First a confession...you may or more than likely may not, be surprised that in preparation for this blog I had to look some of those songs up on itunes so I would know what the originals sounded like. As a true product of 90's and after pop culture...my musical knowledge of the Rolling Stones is quite limited. I was pleasantly surprised that I knew most of the songs tonight.

We're back on the big stage with all the crazy town monitors and pretty much looks like an American Idol monster stopped by and threw up logos everywhere. The judges have decided to reprise the corny "grand entrance" from last season and Ry Ry actually got introduced by an off camera announcer. Did anyone else but me notice that Kara's eye make up made her look like she has a lazy eye? I'm constantly facinated by how pretty she can look one night to how awful she can look other nights. It's like her stylist has bi-polar and can't decide whether or not he actually wants her to look good or not.

Speaking of looking good...did anyone else think Big Mike's wife finally looked cute tonight? Poor girl has only been shown post birth in her frickin hospital gown til now. Who knew she was so cute normally? Big Mike...still cashing in on those "first time dad" votes. I thought his version of "Miss You" was pretty good. He put a kinda of funky/MJ spin on it. I liked the falsetto open and he can def work the stage. But for going first...there wasn't enough bang for me to remember him at the end of the show.

Next up, Didi Benami who calls her mom, "Mommy Benami" awwww. Even though it felt like Didi's rendition of "Play With Fire" was slightly off timing-wise, I really loved how she made it more dark and sultry than the original. Her voice is so sweet sounding....it was good to hear her give something some major attitude. Now if she could just master the ANTM angry-but-still-pretty-face...

Oh Casey James....if only this were "Guitar Idol"...then you'd have it in the bag...well maybe not...Andrew seems quite well versed on guitar and then there's Crystal...ok well anyways...here's what i thought about Casey's "It's All Over Now": I love bluesy Casey...I've said this before...and when he's not too nasally and he hits the sweet spot...it's stars and rainbows. But otherwise...idk...it really seemed like that stage swallowed him up tonight. He kind of cuts off the ends of phrases which really bothers me and unfortunately, the best part of his spot tonight was Ellen making a joke about how most women's heart pitter patter for him, and then there's people like her....blonds.

After Casey, naturally comes Lacey! haha oh man! I know I know....fine....stopping. Lacey's "Ruby Tuesday" seemed slightly flat most of the time and it seemed like she would've benefited from singing it in a different key perhaps? The best part of her range was barely touched in this song. And I felt like she needed more breath support too. Not her best....love her but....not so much.

Can we please discuss how awkward and hilarious the interview with Andrew Garcia's parents was?? His dad is choked up talking about how he thought Andrew would be a janitor! And then there's his mom who says nothing and stares at the ground the whole time! I love how they made Andrew's dad out to be this gang banger and now they want us to know he was actually also a musician! hah! Tonight Andrew took what I'll call.....a GIANT MIS-STEP! I can safely ask, WTF was he thinking? He ditched the guitar to half ass play with the mic stand and sing flat most of the time to a song that wasn't his style at all. I love love Andrew but I was not a fan of this (can u tell?) and I would like to know what song Ellen was listening to that she thought was so great cause there's no way it was tha same thing I heard. (I typed "tha" on accident but really it fits this situation quite nicely).

Katie Stevens....oh Katie...your makeover is going very well I see...super cute dress...trendy but still young looking....her hair got slightly modernized....for some reason every time I see her I think Gilmore Girls...anyone else with me on that? "Wild Horses" was a good pick for her and I agreed with Kara; the slight changes she made with the melody were good. Too bad the end got very pageanty....she might as well have been singing "Tooooomorrow, tomorrowww i'll love yaaa tomorrowwww"...yeahhhh she has a great voice...she just needs more life experience and practice. I have an extreme bias against girls who seem like they do no wrong...can't trust people like that.

Keeping up with the youngster theme....Tim Urban and his Dugger-ish family. Oh annnnnd also a sort of Mraz-y version of "Under My Thumb". Uhhh it sounded like Tim sang a whole 3-note range on this song. My advice for Tim: quit talking and keep smiling...that's the only way you're getting votes.

I was pretty pumped to see Siobhan tonight. I knew she was busting out the Adam Lambert wail again. Geez-uz. It might get repeatitive....but it'll never be not amazing. I loved her hippie parents and he awesome black dress....not sure how much I liked how they made her look really Winehouse-y tonight but she seems to wear everything so confidently it kinda worked. My only complaint was i wish she would've made a more drastic transistion from the slow beginning into the chorus. She could've really trhew down but didn't til closer to the end.

I didn't hate Lee as much tonight. His "Beast of Burden" had a Tony Rich Project feel to it and for once he wasnt so nasally...

It's funny I hate Lee so much when he's starting to look like this other guy I know....what do you think?

Paige darling, you bore me to death. I liked how she went country style on "Honky Tonk Woman" but was that really original? The song title is "Honky Tonk".

Aaron Kelly's mom's name is "Kelly Kelly"! Seriously....why would you do that?? Just keep your maiden name...or go by your middle name then...Kelly Kelly?? Aaron turned "Angie" into another slow ballad...yay.

Best of the Night award goes to.......Crystal Bowersox if for no other reason than he dad had he most rockin moustache! hah And in addition to that, she totally blew the roof off with "You Can't Always Get What You Want". It was like Joss Stone and Jennifer Nettles had a love child. It was bluesy and country and sassy and as a mother...you knew she knew what she was talkin bout'!

There you have it kids...week 1 Idol...donzo...who'd you pick to go home? I'm rolling with Paige or Lacey...I'm not sure how much longer Andrew can ride on "Straight Up"...and I have a feeling Big Mike will go a lot further than I originally thought. Annnd I'm out! Good night!

Combo Boy Night/Top 12 Reveal Night Blog

2010-03-12T13:32:00.000-06:00

Welcome ladies and gents to my lazy girl combo blog...ok fine...sooo I was going to write two blogs but I watched the results show before I wrote boy night and it's too hard not to separate those performances from the events that transpired tonight.

Once again we were subjected to what has become a regular corny cinematic faux suspense intro. So not a fan of this...I'm onto Idol's tricks...I know when the threat of someone I care about going home is real or not. You can't fool this Idol-loonie! Or can you?

Based on a few less than par performances from the last couple nights I was pretty sure I had these results on lockdown. My bets were on: Paige (for her awful awful version of "Smile"), Katie due to her lack of fashion and continued downward spiral with "Breakaway", Alex-no-connection-stage-fright-Lambert and Tim Urban., who wasn't even supposed to crack the top 24 much less the top 12! For crying out loud!

So results night is on and the kids show off their lip-synching skills to Michael Buble's "Haven't Met You Yet". The only thing worth noting is Katie has clearly been (finally!) taken under the wing of someone older and wiser and cooler who has dressed her in a hot pink one shoulder shirt, giant earrings and a modern hairstyle! I'm thinking, 'thank goodness she'll at least be wearing a cute outfit when they tell her she's got the boot!'

Ry Ry gets down to business, girls first, Didi first....this is early on the in the season so first is generally a good sign. Surprise surprise, she's in. Siobhan (in my head I read it every time as SEE-ahb-hahn even though apparently it's Sha-vonn)is in...down to Paige and Katelynn...I'm all duh! Paige! And then whahhhh?? Katelynn is out!! I know I said before I only thought she made it cause she's pretty (well ok that's true) but I actually liked her. Her version of "The Scientist" is still one of my favorite performances this season. I would've much rather seen her another week than Paige. Paige might be my this season's Syesha...we'll see.

Boys turn: Casey-he sang Keith Urban and I liked it but didn't love it. I hate when he gets just a little too nasally and I don't know if this was part of the "connection" but his sad voice singing turns into this machine gun vibrato. I agreed with Randy about it being safe and also wanting him to do something even more bluesy...a Jonny Lang number maybe? He's in so hopefully we'll see him do something more like that next week.

Tim-who actually did a really decent version of "Hallelujah", also in. That song saved him. I still love J.Castro's best...Tim's really paled in comparison but if we compare Tim to Tim, this was his best. He was really fighting out there to win and he was off in spots but I felt like those misteps came from real feeling and therefore more forgiveable than any other botched notes.

Down to Todrick and Lee. Todrick did an excellent version of "Somebody to Love" the night before. he finally didn't overdo it on the vocal liberties and I really think the tone of his voice is very radio friendly. And we all know I despise Lee...but I knew he wasn't frickin going anywhere with Simon and everyone fawning all over him every time. Ugh. His version of "Fireflies" was wretched. And why would he pick that song? Here's how to show people what a tough rock star I am...I'll sing about bugs that light up and my dreams. So we said gooooo-bye to Todrick..booooo

For the break...we got to see my former secret lover, Matt Giraud! Ow! Ow! I love him. I think he performed really well playing "Tell Her About It" with Scott but i was sad that they didn't do a new song or even something more current.

After that, Crystal is up, she's in...and not suprised about it...then Big Mike...he's in DUH. Big Mike's version of "This Woman's Work:" was probably the best performance this season...welll...next to Andrew's Straight Up. He nailed the falsetto opening...then switched it lower for the middle only to bring it back up at the end. He really communicated the lyrics sooooo beautifully and you could tell the whole thing really meant something to him.I don't know if it necessarily warranted tears (ahem ahem Kara!) but it was awesome.

Lacey-in, Aaron-in...I'm already bored with his pop country ballads. Please do something else already. Then it comes down to Alex and Andrew. Could this be anymore NOT suspenseful? You don't get over 12,000 followers on twitter (more than twice the amount of everyone else) ad not crack the top 12. I know Andrew's "Genie in Bottle" was reaching...but he's still awesome. Alex's "Trouble" was very copy cat of the original and there is no connection to the lyrics. Plus he looks like a scared little kitten on stage.

The major shocker of the night happened when Lilly was up against Katie. For me and hopefully to anyone, this was a no brainer. Lilly has been consistently good every week...this week the song wasn't my fave but the judges loved it and it was different but modern. Katie practically butchers Breakaway and what? She's IN??? You've got to be kidding me! How many old ladies vote on this show anyways??

Girls: House of the Rising Stars...mostly

2010-03-10T14:56:00.000-06:00

The night started off with what might be the most awkward Idol opening ever, with the girls in line, one by one being announced by Ry Ry under the who-wants-to-be-a-millionaire dramatic lighting and then stepping off the stage. I decided in that moment that I hate when Idol tries to pull off movie caliber drama. The show can't be cheesy enough without these awkward schticks creepin in.

First up, giving up her 90's style for a night was Katie Stevens going K.Clarkson's "Breakaway". I feel like this song should've been a wise choice in theory but unfortunately the Katie of auditions past is gone. She turned into some sort of Simon-fearing timid LeeAnn Rimes-ish warbler. I didn't get it. She was painfully flat in parts recognizable by the most non musical of ears. Not sure how the judges missed those errors but for whatever reason they chose to focus on the fact that Katie hasn't yet discovered her musical "style"/what type of artist she should be. Also true...but before you decide that Katie darling, learn how to sing in tune-k-thanks.

Next up...resident weirdo (what else am I supposed to call her??) Siobhan Magnus. She grew up listening to her dad singing "House of the Rising Sun" and HE thinks she's the best singer he's ever heard and SHE thinks he is...awwww how cute! ::sarcasm:: First off...I cannot really get over how effing cute her dress was...and how nice her legs are! I'm a straight girl but geez-uz...hell-O! In addition to looking hot...her performance was pretty awesome. Opening a capella is always impressive because if you're not on key when the music does come in, it'll be painfully obvious...previous masters of this feat include Katherine McPhee and Bo Bice. She was pitch perfect throughout and even tho she pretty much stuck with the melody, since the original was done by a male, her performance was unique simply because she sang it. She could be up there...like top 3 material...

Lacey Lacey Lacey...fire engine hair, piercing blue eyes finally brought it last night with "The Story" one of my all time favorite songs (found in my love song blog :). She like Siobhan was pitch perfect from what i could tell and I loved how she infused the song with what I'll call the "Jewel" tone...you know where she sounds like a child almost but not juvenile...my only complaint is that she wussed out and didn't try the chorus. I would've loved to hear her tackle it even if she went more subdued than Brandi's lovely wail on the original.

Katelynn was the only major mis-step for me tonight. Both her high waisted jumper and song choice of Carol King's "I Feel the Earth Move" really left me feeling less than satisfied. E for effort but really...so boring...and so dated...no offense...Carol King is awesome obviously but this song isn't my fave. I think Katelynn will ride through to the top 12 on looks alone but I won't be surprised if she doesnt depending on how many people love Katie more.

Didi, who I realized with the help of my hlp Ty, looks a lot like my freshman roommate Ingrid, finally went back to what we love about her...singer songwriter vibe with the guitar. I missed what the song was called (fail on my part) but it was a familiar tune...pretty sassy, also in the pitch perfect club and I love love that her voice is so radio friendly. She cried again which she should work on not doing cause she's about one episode away from turning into the new crying girl. You made it sister! Just enjoy it!

Paige---uhhhh wellll....she did "Smile" which is a great song...however, not for people to sing who aren't accomplished singers. She failed to get the real intended feeling across in addition to the fact that she sounded awful. The whole song took place in what was the most uncomfortable spot in her register and apparently she was on the verge of tears the whole time overcome with emotion at singing an MJ song...whatevs....get it together girl! Not that it matters now...I can guarantee we'll be saying buh bye to her tomorrow night. P.S Sequin shirts should not be paired with sequin cardigans.

Crystal--for me wins the best of the night award. I can safely say that I enjoyed her version of "Give Me One Reason" more than Tracy Chapman's original. Girl brought it with her super cool bluesy style putting the dirty on the song giving it extra punch the original lacks. Love Love...as Randy likes to say, it was a hot one!

Lilly--creative earring model and resident indie girl went with Patsy Cline's "I Fall to Pieces"...sooo umm the judges were all about this and for sure it was def a risk and I could see where she was going with it but for me...I was not a fan. She's a great singer and I love her sort of cupie doll singing style but this was not it. She reached but didn't work for me. Not to worry...i think she'll be back...hopefully she'll burn those pot holder earrings. Gross.

My prediction is that Katie and Paige can kiss their Idol world goooooo-bye. And will we miss them? Nope!
I hope the boys play to win tonight...especially Andrew. He needs another Straight Up moment STAT! Remember kids, Idol pool starts after this week...so let me know if you want in! Osterbauer-OUT!

Results Night-Caution [Lack of] Drama About to Unfold...

2010-03-05T00:02:00.000-06:00

Oh Idol, you tried SO hard to trick us tonight, but really who were you fooling? No one. We're wise to your reverse psychology ways. And really, the way the shows went, it was easy to see who was on the chopping block and no amount of epic movie music, judges random clips and echoy replays of harsh critiques was going to make us believe otherwise. But I get ahead of myself...as I tend to do sometimes...

Group number tonight was BEP's "I Gotta Feeling" and I have to say...I loved trying to see who was the most enthusiastic 'fist pumper' out of the guys at the start of the song. Big Mike was my fave to watch with his over-the-top facial expressions making it clear he knew how ridiculous they looked and the only remedy for that is to make it look even more ridiculous. In wardrobe news, Katie Stevens' red mini made her look like a hooker....a hooker with the same hair-do i had when i was 10...in 1992...also Jermaine Sellers' bow tie is obnoxious.

Here's how it played out: Tim-in (barf), Todrick--..oh wait you have to stand there til the end instead, Big Mike-in (still reeling off the daddy thing and the premature standing O), Casey "not-hearthrob" James-in, Then...dun dun dun...will it be John Park? Or Todrick that's out? DUH obviously it was going to be John. I felt so bad for him. I knew he was going home :( If only he were white or had a baby or a backstory, then he'd still be in. You heard me. Asians get no love on this show! Especially guys...at least Jasmine Trias and Ramiele Malubay made it to to top 12!

Guys, round 2: Lee-in (big surprise), Aaron -in (also no surprise there), Alex-in (everyone loves a mullet) and we're down to....Jermaine and Andrew! E for effort Idol producers but you're not fooling anyone! Ok fine! I might've said the words "I'm not watching this show anymore if it's Andrew" but I was just kidding. Kinda like when you're trying not to fall asleep but you just wanna "rest your eyes". Anyways, Hal-le-frickin-lu-jah...the witch is dead! the witch is dead! Fuck-did I sing that out loud? Ah well...you can't tell me you guys were any less annoyed with him than I was. And to confirm his annoying personality, in case you thought Tuesday was a fluke...Jermaine was sticking with his God theory...yup Jermaine God has a different plan for you and your onesie and it doesn't get to be on TV. Go with God, Mr Church SinGer.

And for your inbetween entertainment! Danny Go-to-Gokey! Whooooo! haha jk....I would never "whooo" for DG. His song was called, "My Best Days Are Ahead of Me" and like any smart white boy....he went where the easy money is: country. The song totes reminded me of Kellie Pickler's "The Best Days of Your Life" and also I feel even though he prob wouldn't have been as popular in the R&B genre....i think that's more his flavor. He sounded strained and weak in addition to the fact that the song just kinda sucked in general. And seriously...OF COURSE the person that wrote it, also had a wife who died and OF COURSE he wrote it right after but DG had no idea until after he recorded it. Geez...I appreciate Danny for being so positive about life and I would never want to downplay something as serious as death but really...I'm just so over it already. Have fun being Country Danny...hope that works out for ya'!

Ok back to the results. Girls. Lilly-in, Paige "color crayons" girl-in (wtf??),Katie "90's" Stevens-in, down to Didi and Michelle....gee! I wonder who's in...and NO, i did NOT say to myself if Didi is out I'm not watching this show anymore....well not outloud to myself....and yes, that does make sense. (Girls are craaazy...including me). Michelle is out....she's thankful...blah blah blah who cares? No one. FF stright thru that shit. Didi gurlllll you better bring it out next week, seriously.

Girls round 2: Katelynn "legs" Epperly-in, Crystal-in, Siobhan-in, down to Lacey and Haeley. And Simon declares, "it's obvious who's going home" oh yes, yes it is! HORSEMOUTH U R DONE. No one's going to miss that gremlin face. Most of all we won't miss her super off key shout/yodeling and all that horsegrin smiling. They roll the tape and then Haeley sings...Ry Ry is calling everyone "baby" tonight...that's sweet :)

Thank you America...you got it 75% right...

Girls just wanna...be crafty?

2010-03-04T13:34:00.000-06:00

Hello hello hello my idoloonies...sooo the girls were all around better than last week...some still fell short..ok lets be honest, MOST of them fell short and for me for you, they mostly bored me...or were awful...but lets dive in shall we?

First impressions, it must be "cute dress" night on Idol and someone forgot to give Lacey the memo. Crystal got it but chose to ignore it cause she's too coo fo that. Also loving Randy's red sweater complete with heart on it with mean eyes. Does that make sense? The heart on the sweater had mean eyes! There! Hah!

First up, Crystal Bowersox, my fave...who apparently suffered some sort of serious illness due to her diabetes. But she's back full force with Creedence "Long As I Can See Light"...she went all gospel on us which I loved and the best moments were when she opened up and let it all go. The softer parts sounded timid but she brought it to church and it was good. Judges loved.

Haeley and your stupid effing giant hair flowers! And then we learn that she actually makes those hideous things herself! OF COURSE SHE DOES! She also has a lack of "mean face"...I don't trust anyone who's happy all the time. That just means when they're not happy, they're pretending to be which isn't healthy. Her version of "The Climb" started off OK, but when she hit the chorus it was all over. The camera man tried to spice things up by giving everyone an almost shot up her short dress but it didn't stop us from being exposed to her heinous vocal stylings where I'm sure even barn animals across the US were crying.

Lacey-she loves antique shopping and re-making old crap look new! Anyone shocked? Yeah that's what i thought. Her version of "Kiss Me" i thought was good...judges thought she didn't change it enough but the best part of that song is the whimsical melody so i thought the small changes were really all she could do. She looked 100 times more comfortable and I'm thinkin she could be a dark horse of sorts.

Katie Stevens-I'm so done with her. She needs a makeover like nobody's business. Why does she look like she stepped straight out of 1991 all the time? Someone fix her hair at least for crying out loud! Even her nail polish looked dated. "Put Your Records On" is another song which should be retired off Idol. Her version was ultra boring and she was lacking hardcore in the confidence department.

Didi! I felt so bad for her. The judges hated her rendition of "Lean on Me". I agree it wasn't really in "her wheelhouse" as they say now...but I liked it. At least her outfit was leaps and bounds over last week.

Michelle-I don't know what it is about her, but she bothers me. She did take a big risk this week singing "Arms Wide Open"-by Creed which really, no one should ever sing a Creed song..ever. But it didn't suck. The beginning was pretty good...but when she hit the chorus she lost me...I felt like she was emphasizing the wrong parts of the song...like she didn't actually know what the song was about in the first place. Also, she changed the lyric "I hope he's not like me..." from "he" to "she"...I don't think that was necessary since the person the song is about is the singer's child, not romantic partner...Big ups to Simon for finally recognizing that they tend to give contradicting advice a lot of the time and giving her some props for the risk.

Lilly-"A Change is Gonna Come" playing the 12 string guitar--she rules...it wasn't technically perfect but it had a sort of Adele-ish thing happening...I liked it.

Katelynn Epperly- For me, she was the best of the night. I loved the song, loved her playing piano, she finally seemed genuine, like she was connecting with the lyrics. And she's sooooo pretttyyyy! Also picked her for best outfit of the night!

Paige-she likes to color...awesome...hated her singing "Walk Away"...not a singer's song...she's boring...good bye!

Siobhan-loved her dress, thought the key was too high for her doing Aretha's "Think" Yeah sure she hit that money note and whatever...I didn't find it quite as awesome as the judges.

There you have it kids...my take on the night. I'm hoping horseface aka Haeley bites it tonight...and Katie/Paige...both boring as shit. Thoughts?

Week 2: Guys night, one step forward, two steps back...

2010-03-03T13:31:00.000-06:00

As I settled in with my comfort food for what was going to be the best part of my night, I was surprised to see it was boy night instead of girl night. Even more shocking was finding out that it was supposed to be girl night, but (GASP!) my fav Crystal Bowersox had to be rushed to the hospital and was told not to sing! Shoo.

Anywho, the guys didn't seemed phased by the change and a couple I would guess were even glad to "get it over with". I'm not sure what it is...if it's just me or what but I was not really feeling any of these guys tonight...even my faves. The nervousness is still lingering for a few, if it's not they didn't pick the right song and if they did pick the right song, they didn't connect or do enough to make it special. Also, another disappointing thing about this years guys, (pointed out to me by the roomie) there is a distinct lack of heartthrob. I know, I know, Casey James...blah blah blah fine. He might work for some of you but I feel like his hair is too pretty and his face is too round and really what it comes down to is the fact that I'm anti-blond. Sorry! Lack of heartthrob may seem minor to you, but trust me, it' s a vital part of the Idol formula.

Another vital part of that formula is the power of the standing O. Reserved for only the hottest of performances, I felt the one we saw tonight, from Randy for Big Mike was a little premature. While I'm gonna go ahead and call Big Mike's slow dramatic rendition of "A Man's World" the best of the night, it still didn't have that "wow factor". It was a great song choice and he had only minor pitch problems, great arrangement however somethin' was missing for me.

Missing the connection yet again was poor John Park. I want him to be good SO badly! Gotta support my Asian! And Korean too! And I really do think he has a great voice, such a pretty tone and great ability. I agreed with Kara, I think he's still singing like he would in choir, concentrating too heavily on the notes. If he would just let go, he could be great. i also voted for him so he better make it to next week!

Casey James doing "I Don't Wanna Be" which is one of the most popular Idol tunes, done previously by the likes of Bo Bice, Elliot Yamine, Michael Sarver, Chris Richardson...I vote it should be retired by now cause really no one is prob ever going to do it better than Bo. I love Casey's voice but tonight, it wasn't there. He sounded nasaley and shakey like someone was pounding on his back. Really odd. It's a good thing that guitar shredding action was so sexy cause otherwise the whole thing would've been pret-ty boring.

Alex Lambert was good except that I feel like he copies the pronounciacion from the original singer, in this case John Legend. Alex is lucky that the tone of his voice really lends itself to expressing emotion even when it's not there. I didn't buy at all that Alex would know the first thing about loving someone and then finding out they've been cheating on you (subject of "Everybody Knows") but that said, sort of gravelly tone helped it seem like he did.

Todrick Hall- I still love you and your green eyes but the judges are right, you're still doing too much. Cool down the vocal olympics.

Dear Aaron Kelly, you don't even know who you are yet! Sure you think you're really into photography now but tomorrow it'll probably change to ping pong or something! Geez...every time I see him all i can think, he's a child for crying out loud! hah that's prob just me getting old but idk....

Tim Urban-we now know that Tim comes from a giant family and we also know he prays before his performances...it's like he's cousins with the Duggars! His version of "Come On Get Higher" would be cool if he was like, at camp sitting around a fire with a bunch of other doey eyed children...his eyes cry "pick me! pick me!"

Andrew Garcia-Andrew! Why? Why? Bad song choice....Kara was right, you're a rhythmic singer....pick something with rhythm and also work on your breath support boy!

Lee Dewyze-Did I call this or what?? He totes sounds awful just like that Hinder guy and apparently he thinks so too! Ok umm did anyone else think that was weird in his interview package when he singled out a teacher named "Amy" who believed in him? ummm that had teacher student affair written all over it! If they weren't humping, he would've called her "Ms/Mrs. something" right??? I hate him. I don't get how they think the sounds that come out of him are good cause they're not.

Annnnnd saving the worst for last, Jermaine Sellers! OMG I think I might hate him more than Lee and Aaron and Alex combined. Things I hate about Jermaine: 1. He wears a onesie! Yuck. Grow up buddy, get some grown up pjs....him in a onesie was an image that cannot be erased from my memory. 2.His weird afrofaux hawk also gross...looks like alien hair 3.The whole get up, bow tie, polka dot shirt...double gross...barf barf 4.He said the judges were "cut throat"? Umm has he even seen this show before? If you can't take the heat, get out of the fire! 5.The back talking! UGH! Hate the back talking, it makes him look so arrogant and annoying...and his song was awful too.

So that's it...boy night...not my fave...hopefully the girls do it right tonight.

Results Night verdict: America you disappoint me

2010-02-26T23:15:00.003-06:00

Oh results night, how I've been dreading you...the fake suspense, the time killers, the awful way they make the ousted contestant sing a swan song...lets be real, I hate it. But it;s necessary evil of Idol season and this first show followed last season's formula like clockwork all the way down to America getting it wrong but I get ahead of myself. Lets start from the top!

For some reason, I had forgotten about the possibility of a group number. So when Ry Ry came out and said all 24 were going to sing "American Boy" (which we've already heard a few contestants sing) I was slightly perturbed. My instant thoughts were, "really? This again huh? With this many people?" but then they started and I remembered how much i relished the awkwardness of the less than coordinated contestants and the awesomeness of the lip syncing! Before i realized Katelyn Epperly had shorts on I thought we almost all got a crotch shot when she did her psuedo stripper slinky move. Thoroughly entertaining were Tim Urban's dance moves. Nothing like a young JoBro wanna be getting super into some step touch action. Haeley of course was vying for contestant with largest and most obnoxious headpeice. Doesn't she realize those big flowers don't make her face any less like a gremlin? (Thanks for pointing that out B ;)

Anywho...to the actual results. Tonight we're doing the backrow/front row scenario, back row first. Siobhan-safe, Haeley-safe, Michele aka video vixen-safe (Whah??), crotch shot Katelyn-safe! Down to 16 year old Katie and Janell (whahh??) ummm already this is wrong. Katie is actually really good...very green but good and my Janell! So commercial, so pretty and so down to earth....and so....so...done. Boooooo. Bad choice America. How dare you let her leave and let horse face stay! How dare you!

Next Allison Iraheta!! Yessss. I LOVE her. She comes out in what seems like a rather conservative high necked black dress, lace tights, rockin boots...but then! They flash the back and the whole back is open and she has this crazy huge bow covering her ass. Aside from the bow which was actually more structural/artsy than bridesmaid, I loved the dress. She sang "Scars" and it was awesome. The best part, when she asked Ry Ry if they should do yet another awkward interview and how when she was backstage waiting to go on she felt like she was going to be eliminated.

Ok so back to the girls, Paige-by some miracle is safe, Lacey-also safe, Lilly-safe, then down to ...WHAHHHHHH?? ASHLEY AND DIDI?? Are you effing kidding me? DiDi is the best right behind Crystal and she's in the bottom?? Was it the awful crochet vest? If I had to pick one to stay I would've picked Di Di and I picked the same as America. Ashley was done. And in a first she looked pissed! Through gritted teeth she told Ry Ry she felt she was "ready to sing a song" and all she wanted to say to America was "thanks for voing for her"....riiiight. But she had every right to be mad. She's got it, real talent, and on top of that, she already has star style and perfect skin! I was bummed but I felt better knowing it wasn't Didi...

Ok sooo I think I missed something when I watched the second half cause all of sudden it was like, oh, there's Tyler...singing...in a bathrobe...hmmmm....yeah didn't get it. And neither did you America and Tyler is donzo. Not too sad about that. Tyler was also pissed stating that he felt the judges didnt give him enough constructive critism in Hollywood and when they finally did, it was too late. Please. Cry me a river. Immediatly following they showed his past footage and he was quoted saying, (in Hollywood) "I'm surprised I even made it that far" yeah...SO ARE WE.

The other guy who's out is little Joe Munoz. I felt so bad for him. He was actually good and I think he would've only gotten better if he stayed. I guess the Latin community didn't show up for him...maybe they were all voting for Andrew only? who knows? On the plus side, I enjoyed watching him sing again.

The best part of results night?? KRIS ALLEN....oh swoonlicious. To preface Idol Gives Back, Kris went to Haiti to help out and then came back with the video footage of him with super cute Haitian kids to sing a little song called, "Let it Be". So good! Kris does an amazing job to telling stories with lyrics and really communicating the emotion of every word. That's a must download!

Overall I'm pretty disappointed with the results but not surprised. When it comes to talentmost of America cant recognize. They love a good backstory and with the voting it's hard to tell in the beginning who's community will really show up for them. On we go kids. Hopefully the girls bring it this week...i say this week since I'm posting this super lates...sorry!

Osterbauer-OUT!

Puppy dog eyes, dance moves and SOME singing, that's what boys are made of

2010-02-24T22:38:00.004-06:00

After my disappointment in the girls last night, I didn't have high hopes for the guys. I mean, nerves are nerves and especially after Simon made the comment that he saw a lot of that in rehearsals, I was kinda down and out about the whole thing. But, I'm happy to report that my faves (for the most part) brought the house down and my unfaves...my loathes if you will, fufilled their destiny [insert evil Mr Burns laugh here].

I put the guys into 3 groups: the bad, the middle and the best!

THE BAD

Jermaine Sellers! Holy crap! This kid cannot dig himself out of the diva hole he dug in Hollywood. He will FOREVER be known as the kid who "threw the band under the bus". First we remind everyone, that's what he did (as if you forgot!), then he called Hollywood week "Hell week" (umm there were thousands of people who gladly would've taken your spot buddy if you hated it that much) and then icing on my already well frosted cake, they ask him if he "made up with Michael" clearly, that was the guy from the band, and what does he say?? "Who is Michael?" OMG kid you are donzo! Done-ZO! Aside from all the drama, he was terrible! Those high notes made me wish I was someplace else! The over indulgent award of the night goes to him. And those pseudo rain boots he wore? Did not help. Did you see how the camera purposely lingered on them just long enough for you to go "WTF"? yeah...even the effing camera man/producer has it out for him.

Next! My new man I will love hating this year........Lee Dewyze. Dear Lee, please do not wear shirts with words on them on television, unless you're actually trying to get a message across or sell something, it's distracting, especially when you're singing something nice and your shirt says "My weapon of choice". He sounds like the awful lead singer from Hinder. Except more nasal and more disgusting. Don't get me wrong, I love a good growl...a good low growl, metal style but he does not have it. There are dying animals who moan prettier than the way he sounds when he sings. Please, if there's any kind of a God out there, he'll make sure Lee doesn't last long. And WTF is Simon smoking that he loved him so much? Can I get an Amen? Jeezy!

Tyler Grady was like that drunk kid at the frat party who gets up and starts singing and because you're drunk and he's halfway decent and he stumbles around like a 70s rockstar, you think he's awesome and try to take him back to your dorm but he's so wasted he passes out before you can even take your shirt off....yeah...

Tim Urban! Oh you little charity case you...I almost felt bad for you when Simon said they were right not choosing you to begin with, but then I didn't! Hah! Here's a thought, if you can't hit the high notes in the chorus of a song, you may want to consider umm NOT SINGING IT! Especially when a certain current reigning Idol blew it out the park last year. But you know...just a thought. Brownie points for working that JoBro hair and those puppy dog eyes tho, nice try.

Big Mike-They should not even put "Michael Lynche" on the screen, he is and will always be "Big Mike"...(I sorta feel bad about that because of the Blind Side but he doesn't seem to mind). I have a feeling he'll make it through on the wave of people who still love his whole first time daddy story but lets be real here folks. That sucked. He was a victim of bad song choice. It was too fast, the phrases were too short to show off his great tone and he didn't change it enough to make it better/different. I was so bored, I left the room and let it keep playing and I was watching it on DVR.

THE MIDDLE

Todrick Hall-I personally, really liked his jacked up version of "Since You've Been Gone". I agree with Ellen, the chorus was lacking...but I appreciated the fact that he made it into this kind of cool smooth jazzy cool remix. Britney did a similar thing with "Hit Me Baby One More Time" on the VMAs once and I loved it. He kind of sounds like John Legend + Chris Brown. He's def a seasoned performer and who doesn't love those pretty green eyes ;)?

Aaron Kelly- Ugh. You have NO idea how hard it was for me not to put him in the "BAD" group. But to be fair, he was actually good. That said, he needs a shit ton of work to actually make top 12. Well...to actually make top 12 and not have me hate him still. I loved when he was talking about forgetting the words in Hollywood and then he said, "the words just came back to me" umm yeah OR Randy helped you! Gotta give him credit tho, he's working that young and innocent thing. And he actually picked the right song. Shoo. P.S I wish some girl would help him out with his clothes. It's national TV kiddo, who cares if you're singing country. You don't have to wear a plaid shirt from Fleet farm.

John Park-My Asian! I love him! Ok soooo maybe "God Bless the Child" wasn't the best song choice and mayyybe he went a little flat here and there but at least he knew to back off of those notes unlike other people (cough Jermain Sellers cough). And sure mayyybe it didn't seem genuine/connected. But! He has a great voice and pretty good control and i think he could do well...if more than the Asian community votes for him. And when he professed his love for Shania, he sold me as a man after my own heart. I feel the same way about David Cook...if he asked me to marry him tomorrow, I'd say yes!

Joe Munoz- Where did he come from? He was surprisingly good. The judges werent totes crazy about his version of "You and I Both" but I really liked it. If you closed your eyes, it kind of sounded like Marc Anthony+MJ. And he looked SO happy up there, not scared or uncomfortable. And I liked that.

Alex Lambert-Boo. I no likey him. But he ok. He does sound A LOT like James Morrison but too bad it makes him come off too copy cat for me. And the mullet...OF COURSE Ellen loves it. Do all lesbians love mullets? I don't get it. One thing tho, LOVED how he called out FBT as the one who ruined his group, hahaha awesome.

THE BEST

Casey James- ow ow! whoooooo! haha I'm actually not attracted to this dude but umm it's clear SOMEONE is...Kara! Don't get me wrong I was totes diggin his sort of country bluesy version of "Heaven". I bought and consumed every word that came out of his mouth. And even more exciting! I figured out who he looks like! Hell-OO! Aiden! From Sex in the City! Uh huh, pictures at the top. I found Kara's comments, even in jest, inappropriate for a family show. I feel like she was making a joke i would make with my girlfriends and in person it would be funny but on TV in front of children it made me uncomfortable.

Last but not least my fave, Andrew Garcia! Andrew, Andrew, let me count the ways how much I adore you. I'm biased of course but I liked his sort of sexy cool version of "Sugar We're Goin' Down". Andrew doesn't hit bum notes or look scared, or uncomfortable and he's current and different and I love him. He's confident without being arrogant and he knew to say that the right attitude to have about the judges comments is to take them and learn from them. I just hope "Straight Up" won't be his peak. I hope he has another one of those up his sleeve. Otherwise he'll Danny Gokey on me and I hate that.

I wish I could say the girls outdid the boys but I'd be lying so i won't. Still both groups really need to step it up and get over the nervousness. I would also like to add that I love Ellen as the new judge. She is very observant and I think she offers some really good tips as far as stage presence/performance kinds of things. And I love that she told Tim Urban if people watched him with the volume down, they'd vote for him! hahahaha

That's it for tonight loves. Osterbauer-OUT!

Girls, Girls, Girls!

2010-02-23T23:16:00.005-06:00

Ladies and gentlemen, this is it! We made it. The actual show has begun and tonight we kick things off estrogen style with the top 12 ladies going first. Simon thinks this year is a girl's year...and I hope it is. I hope at there's at least one girl in the finale this year. 2 guys in the last 2 finales=not right.

My first impressions tonight were: 1. these girls should really practice their intro in front of a mirror first before they actually do whatever they're going to do on camera. Some things they should've considered, scrunching your face is not cute and/attractive, and no one wants to know what the inside of your mouth looks like. 2.The whole Ellen/Simon thing...dumb. 3.Didi darling, wtf are you wearing?? 4. Billboard hits...why? why? why? So boring...too broad...just asking for bad song choices to be made.

Speaking of bad song choices...and bad luck all around...poor poor Paige Miles! We haven't EVER seen this girl and she had to be the unlucky #1 person. If you've ever watched Idol, you know going first, especially in these first rounds is the worst place to be. Unless you're amazing, by the time we get to the last person, everyone already forgot about you. Also, she has no memorable back story. She made the cardinal first show sin of choosing an old rock n roll song, Alright Now (might as well start packing your bags sister! same thing happened to Rudy Cardenas season 6 and Nadia Turner season 4) and her perforance was just ok. Say good bye to Ms. Miles. She is a goner.

Also in the bad song choice category we have:
Michelle Delamor! Who i decided has a better chance and would probably excel at being a video vixen (can't you just see her rubbin' up on 50?). She's gorgeous and commercial but boring. And she did "Fallin" which really, no one can do besides Alicia. It's about pain gurrlll not about brassy shiny vocals. Sounded close to the original my a$$ Simon. That was karaoke style at best.

I hate to say it but, my girl! Crystal Bowersox! She was #11! I was SO ready for her to blow it out the water! And she does Alanis? "Hand in My Pocket"?? Whahh? She is so much better than that. She rocked the harmonica and the guitar and she sounded good. But she could've been anyone. I almost felt like the stage overwelmed her. She needs to pick. it. up. Hopefully the judges good critique helped her out on the voting side.

Janell Wheeler--it wasn't the worst song choice ("What About Love"-Heart) but it def wasn't the smartest. She is actually very good. Her and Didi I could hear on the radio tomorrow. But she needs to have a reality check. Simon was right, she put forth 100% effort and got 65% done. She does better with singer/songwriter type stuff...if it's orginally done by a boy...all the better. Also...wasn't feelin those earrings. Put those back on the curtains they came from and start over girlfriend!

Into the inbetween...girls who are good but either aren't sure of themselves or don't know themselves well enough. Why do we always let the insecurity bring us down ladies?

Haeley Vaughn--ugh...the giant hair flowers and other things, plus giant necklaces and/ earrings , it's like the accesory tree threw up on her. Someone find that girl a gay guy to straighten her out! There were parts of this I did actually like....for example when she wasn't SHOUTING AT MEEEEEeee (that's me typing a a little yodel-esque mEEee). I could live without her but depending on the audience reaction she could be in for a while. If she could rein a little of it in, she could grow on me....we'll see...

Lacey Brown- I didn't hate this as much as the judges. I liked the way she faded the ends of the phrases and kind of sounded like the love child of Stevie Nicks and Jewel. All night it kind of sounded like no one could hear the band. There was a weird tempo thing happening but I thought she did alright. It was a little all over the place but if she could refine it, she'll be golden. And her interview packabge made her very likeable.

Siobhan Magnus is a weirdo. You know what I mean. She blows glass! That's her job!! She's like that girl from high school that was in plays and was always changing her look and doing odd things like eating play-doh and wearing her underwear on the outside of her clothes. She sang Chris Isaak's "Wicked Game" like I'd imagine my old choir director singing it...like technically right but absent of any real feeling? idk...not my fave...and the weirdo in her comes out in her face when she sings. I have no idea how they don't mention it. Also, her affinity for that wretched jean vest scares me.

Katie Stevens-What did I say?? Did I call that or what?? She does "Feeling Good" which someone has to do every season. And it wasn't awful but it was TOO OLD. hah! Also why did they make her look like she was going to a sweet 13 party? Was wearing a thick belt with a large flower/embellishment a requirement for tonight?

For me, for you...for me for you...haha jk...but freals, no one knocked it out of the park for me. But these ladies did a decent job:

Didi Benami-Yes the song was too easy, and i thought the tempo was too slow. That said, I liked the small changes she made and i felt like her performance wasn't as forced as some of the other girls. It came off effortless. Idol needs to fire the stylist that helped her pick out that 70's crochet tablecloth she was wearing but other than that I liked her.

My Ashley! Ashley Rodriguez did Leona Lewis' "Happy". Love that song. Ok fine so she shouldn't pick those songs because she'll be compared to her. But she looked like a professional and when she was good, she was really good. She wins for best skin ever. If she doesn't win, she could always be a Neutrogena model. Her and smooth skin twin Kris Allen would make the most perfect babies!

Best of the night for me were Lilly Scott, most fearless, hit the most correct notes and wasn't contrived in any way. Plus she played guitar and looked awesome. And Katelyn Epperly. I might have to eat my words on this girl. She actually did really well. Even if she did copy the Across the Universe version of "Oh Darlin"...it was still good. Not sure what was happening with her dominatrix dress, red lips and hair piece tho. Quite strange. A close friend said she looked like an 80's flapper...I'd say that's about right.

Tonight there was a lot of bum notes, first time nervousness and error all stemming from insecurity and inexperience. I hope next week these girls find some courage and start to realize more clearly who they are musically.

Top 24! Not Complete Without Scandal...

2010-02-18T21:14:00.003-06:00

Ok sooo....I'll admit it. I cheated. I hadn't written my blog from last night annnnnnd I went ahead and read the EW.com recap anyways. Ashamed to say but I tend to be easily swayed by others' opinions especially when it comes to items of pop culture which is why I always write my blog before reading Michael Slezak's awesomer than awesome Idol recaps because we usually feel the same and if we don't, I have a tendancy to sway. Anywho, that said, here's my thoughts on the top 24 and the first (hopefully not the last of Season 9 scandals!).

To make things easier, I've separated the top 24 into groups: people who got in who I knew would, people who got in who I thought for sure wouldn't and my personal fav, who the &%$# is that?

People Who Got In, Who I knew Would

Andrew Garcia- You do not do an amazing cover of Paula Abdul and not make it. He's top 12/13 material...I'd almost ALmost, put $ on him making top5 even...seriously...that good...so good he could afford to get his baby mama a less hideous haircut (jus sayin).

Crystal Bowersox- For me, she's the top girl...the one to beat...she kinda has a Jason Castro anti interview thing happening but like Jason, I feel that it only makes her more likeable?

Lily Scott- Even if her hair does look like a wig, I still love her. Disclaimer which you may have noticed, generally speaking, I do tend to favor more blusey/jazzy singers over R&B/bombastic balladeers. Look at Lilly's promo picture for top 24. She already looks like an album cover. You know what they say....dress for the job you want!

Ashley Rodriguez- A-MAZE-ING

Janell Wheeler, Todrick Hall-second guy fav after Andrew, Tyler Grady-human charicature, kind of like him actually, Didi-top girl after Crystal....winner contender as long as she doesn't get boring, Casey James-I forsee him having the old "Michael Johns" problem of being super awesome at blues and then being made to sing more alterna/rock pop which wont show off his great skill. Katie Stevens-aka girl w/ grandma with alzheimers. She was excited to tell Granny that she made which led my Idol viewing guest to say "why? she won't remember it later" ZING!

People Who Got In, Who I Thought Def Wouldnt and/Shouldnt

Alex Lambert-Bor-ing! Bor-ing! But they didn't show him much except for when FBT was yelling at him soooo maybe I'll be wrong and he'll surprise us all! AHAH AHA AHA HA....be wrong....ahahahaha...meee...wronggg....ohman....I crack myself up sometimes!

Haeley Vaughn-Just typing her name makes me annoyed. What is that extra "e" doing in there? I don't get it. Even Torii Hunter asked his mom why she put in an extra "i"...Haeley should consider a similar investigation. Simon called her "annoying" and in the same breath told her she was in. Know why? Cause she's a black girl who sings country! It's like meeting an alien! That horse smile is going to drive me bananas! She's the KLC of Season 9...I can already tell.

Tim Urban-to be cont later in the blog...

Aaron Kelly-He forgot his lyrics twice during Hollywood week...what's he gonna do when the real show starts? Pee himself?

Lee Dwayze aka dying cow, hopefully they'll never let him talk on camera...?

People Who Made It Who I am Indifferent About

Jermaine Sellers- his divo moment was a major turn off, I doubt he can come back from that

Katelyn Epperly-this is the prime example of pretty being picked over talent. Enjoy it while it lasts princess.

Lacey Brown- I liked her a lot....but we'll see if she gets more personality onstage

Michael Lynch- he's this years Michael Sarver/Oil Rig guy for me. He'll choose the wrong song, sweat too much...you get the idea.

Siohan Magnus- she has an amazing gift...such a powerful voice. Her style is older and I can already hear the judges telling her she sounds old. Idol law clearly states if you're under 18, your songs and personality should match that of a bubbly cheeerleader.

Who the &^%! is that??

Michelle Delamor-If you have curly hair, and you're pretty, you get to be in top 24

Paige Miles- Simon said she's better than she knows...maybe she'll be the surprise front runner!

Joe Munoz-they showed him once that I saw and he wasn't anything to write home about...they should've switched him with Lil Castro!

In case you haven't heard, poor poor Chris Golightly (the guy who was passed around and around foster homes as a kid) got DQ'd due to confusion regarding an old boy band contract. This story is so heartbreaking...kid has contract, is released from it in June 2009, auditioned in July 2009, then gets a call in Jan when he's in Hollywood saying he's still under contract...he can't find the release and DAYS AFTER they decide to dq him, he finds the release from the contract. And the real kicker, because he made it so far this year, he cannot try out again next year. The silver lining...welll if he got a deal on his own before...maybe he can do it again?

So instead of Chris, we get stupis stupid Tim Urban who I cannot stand. Hopefully...he'll be gone after the first week...I'm gunning for him Aaron or Alex...bye bye!

There you have it. Osterbauer-OUT!

1 Last Chance, The Rooms and Meet 7 of Your Top 24

2010-02-17T00:14:00.004-06:00

It was 10:49pm when I finally sat down with my 3-cheese quesadilla and Mt Dew throwback to watch Idol and I must have missed the memo on this week cuz, when Ry Ry came on and said this shiz was happening for "2 FULL HOURS" I kind of wanted to gauage my eyes out with my pen. I mean....I LOVE Idol...clearly...but I worked 13 hours and now I had two hours of TV to watch and blog to write. Shoooo. But oh well. Good thing I was ready with the throwback!

Lets get down to biz-nass! This gurl needs her beauty sleep foo. (Tiredness turns up my ghetto factor I guess?) Alright, 71 peeps left, all had 1 last chance to impress the judges, solo with the full band.

Right away they gave us a sneak peek into who's in each room...and so very sorry but...from that alone I could've told you who made it.

Room 1-Todrick, Casey, Tim Urban (shit!), Andrew Garcia (my fav!) and Katie---done and done, I know they're in. All they really had to say was Andrew was in that room and I would've predicted the same thing.

Room 2-FBT...done and done...they're out! hahaha yup...I missed who else was in room 2 but as soon as I heard her name, i knew they were donzo!

Room 3- Shelby (face prob girl), Haley, Maddie (aka nerd glasses), Jessica, and most importantly Ashley Rodriguez! Hell-O in!

Ok so now that I'm thinking I know who's in and who's out, they show us some of the final performances like a dream sequence flashback lingering intermittenly with visuals of the kids waiting in the rooms.

They went by room so i guess i can do that too.

Room 1
Casey- I finally frickin figured out who he sounds like! It's the singer from Kings of Leon...very similar tone....not the same phrasing though. He picked Bubbly...not impressed and he sounded very nasally...weird.
Todrick- does what I thought was the best rendition of "I'm Yours" (out of him, Big Mike and that other kid). It was unique and different, showed off his awesome vocal skillz. He reminds me a lot of Mario...
Andrew- amazing version of "Chasing Pavements" i would buy right now if I could. I said it before and I'll say it again, he has top 13 written all over him! All. Over. Him.

Tori and Lily also awesome...Lily's earrings looked like pot holders for cabbage patch dolls but who's judging?

Room 2
Charity and Tasha I actually thought were both good...just a little bit boring and Tasha would never make it big bc of the whole pastor thing so why waste the spot on her?

And then there was FBT singing "Hot n Cold" which she thought was "cake". Oh my my...I almost feel like i shouldn't say anything...cause really it's too easy...right? She sounded awful. Off key, no connection, lazy, unbearable tone...the list goes on. Should I even start in on the dress?? Black sequin baby doll tutus DO NOT go with combat boots and certainly should not be on anyone's mother. Go back to the trailer. Try again.

Room 3
Ashley Martinez! Battlefield. Holy crap. How awesome is she?? She could've recorded that song and it might have even been a bigger hit than Jordin's. Seriously. Love. Her. And it helps also that she's gorgeous and already dresses like a star.

Whoever likes Haley Vaughen could you please stand up? Please stand up...and leave this blog. leave this blog. I'm already over her blue eye shadow and hair flowers and horse-like smile. She can sing, yes and she's "different" because ethnically based oddities are Idol gold but I'm hating her phrasing. Every line sounds like it's being shouted.

Can we please talk about Siobhan? Whose name is pronounced "Shavonne"? Uhhh her pink dress that looked like grandma's nightie meets Pretty in Pink? And how she makes weird faces by letting her lips curl up too much when she sings? I had to look away when she was on to stop making my own icky face. Geez. You're on television girlfriend! Listen to the stylist. Look in the mirror and discover your creepiness.

And how did we feel about Jermaine Seller's divo moment? For supposedly not giving feedback, Kara gave a lot of it. Upon JS's announcement that the band screwed up his number, Kara said, "do not throw the band under the bus". Good or bad, he was done when he made that comment. Cattiness is magnified x a billion on TV so if you want to win, better remember to make it real and/sunshine and rainbows for as long as you can. One wrong move and you can kiss your likability goooooo-bye!

Anywho--I WAS right about which rooms made it in. I was NOT right however on a couple of people for the top 24 round elimination.

After they picked DiDi (who was an obvious yes anyways) and Katelyn came in, i thought for sure she was out. She's good...but they were right...lacking in emotion. But then Katelyn turned out to be in, which for me was another case of a good looking person getting their way. Katelyn was just as good as Jessica Furney and they cut her...the chubbier girl with the boring hair and clothes and glasses...what'dya know?

Another surprise was little Aaron(I-call-my-aunt-mom). This kid can def sing...no doubt...but he needs more music experience before he can make it. I think the Idol judges were on some kind of J. Bieber drug which made them think 12 year old boys can be fun when really they're not. He forgot his lyrics not once, but TWICE which used to be a no questions asked disqualifier regardless of talent level in the past. I dont think we need another Kevin Covais on Idol. Grandmas can vote for someone over age 20...I'm sure they find them just as cute.

Lee Dwayze- who I find to be repulsive on a number of levels was also in. WTF? When he sang I wrote "gross, dying cow" and then they said he was in! And then Lee said,"I like, thought like, I didn't even care, like, about this show like,but now like, it's awesome-like" In that moment when they picked him, I felt like they were only picking him to lose.

I'm happy about DiDi and Todrick making top 24 the most and I suspect Crystal, Andrew and Ashley will also!

And that my friends has to be it bc I need sleeeeepy!

The Love Song Blog

2010-02-14T15:44:00.005-06:00

If you know me at all, you know how much I LOVE Valentine's Day. I love pretty much everything about it...the hearts, the candy, the lovey dovey gifts, the hearts, the red things, the hearts....you get the idea. Target likes to exploit my love of heart things by putting them all over the store trying to lour me into buying heart shaped bowls (got em'), heart hand towels and pillows...unnecessary items that I easily convince myself I cannot live without. But what I love even more than hearts are love songs. There's an art to finding the perfect song for any occassion, something I'm proud to say that I'm quite good at. But what really makes a great love song? Here is a list of my favorites, in no particular order and the reasons why I love them.

1. "I Can't Help Falling in Love (With You)"- Elvis Presley I'm not sure what it is about this song that makes me love it so much...it's Elvis...nuff' said.

2. "At Last"- Etta James Ah, every girl's favorite...i almost didn't bother putting it on the list cause really it's a give in. Weddings and V-day mix tapes/CD's would not be complete without it. And really how can argue that it's not one of the best? When you finally find the one (I'm assuming) this is probably how it feels...at last!

3. "To Make You Feel My Love"- Bob Dylan Bob Dylan is an artist for me, who writes really amazing songs but doesn't exactly have the greatest singing voice. Obviously there are people out there who disagree with me, i.e Rolling Stone for one, who had Mr. Dylan on their "Greatest Singers of All Time" list. Anywho...I feel that in recent years this song has had some pretty stellar covers done...my personal favs, Kelly Clarkson, Adele and Kris Allen. Thank you Bob for reminding us how the greatest professions of love are generally the simplest. "When the evening shadows and the stars appear, and there is no one to dry your tears, i could hold you for a million years, to make you feel my love." The reason why I love this so much is because...a lot of songs are say, I'd do all these things because I love you so much and here he says, I'll do all these things just so you can feel my love. Now that's saying something...

I didn't realize this until I started making this list but I have 3 favorites that are all songs about people writing a song for someone as their way of showing how much they love that person. Which makes sense because as a music lover, I do sort of feel like the most romantic thing anyone could do for me would be to write a song. These guys are all amazing examples. Different and special in their own right.

4. "A Song For You"- Donny Hathaway My favorite favorite! version of this is by Herbie Hancock and Christina Aguilera...it's over indulgent, seductive and incredible on a number of levels. Whether or not you're a fan of Xtina's vocal olympics, you have to admit her vocal skill is up there with the best of the best. "I loved you in a place where there's no space and time, and I love you love you love you for my life".

5. "Your Song"- Elton John Ok so confession time, I really fell in love with this song when the movie Moulin Rouge came out. Elton obviously is an awesome singer but the lyrics really came to life for me through Ewan McGregor. "I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind that I put down in words, how wonderful life is now you're in the world" Nope, nope I don't mind :)

6. "Call My Name"- Prince The ever elusive Prince...hometown hero, master musician, came out with what's probably my favorite song of his, (well...ok fine after When Doves Cry) on Musicology which I'm pretty sure only me and like one other person bought. The Purple One shows off almost modern Shakespeare when he says "I've never seen the moon look so lovely as the night I saw it with you. Lets me know I'd never seen the moon before. So many speak of the moon as though it has no flaws, but to compare it to a beauty like yours, would give one pause".

7. "Best I Ever Had"- Drake There are two versions of this song, the radio friendly one with the chorus "you da you da best you da you da best" or "you the fucking best, you the fucking best" and really to me each one is their own song cause depending on which chorus is on, they mean different things. But i love this song because there's nothing I love more than a perceived badass telling the world he actually fell for someone. And I love the line "sweat pants hair tied, chillin wit no make up on, thats when you're the prettiest I hope that you dont take it wrong" because in my experience, a guy that loves you, loves you best like that. Recently I found two covers of this I love, one by JT Roach and the other by Lisa Scinta (a girl-ified version).

8. "By Your Side"- Sade If you don't like Sade then something is wrong with you. Her sultry low tone is baby making music perfection. Others might prefer the more popular hit "Smooth Operator" but I melt to "By Your Side". I love when she says, "I'll tell you you're right when you want" cause that's what love is right? ;) Letting the other person be right when they want even if you know they're wrong.

9. "No One"- Alicia Keys In addition to the catchy piano strung through this one, Alicia as she usually does, illustrates simply and beautifully love where all she wants is to be "close, where you can stay forever".

10. "The Story"- Brandi Carlile Brandi's style of singing may not be everyone's cup of tea but I adore her. She has emotional rawness somewhat akin to Janis Joplin...but not quite as aggressive? I love the sentiment that you can do a lot of amazing things in life but none of it really means anything if you dont have someone to share them with. And that even when you go through awful things in life if you end up with the right one, it was all worth it because that's what made you who are and into the person they fell in love with.

11. "Nothing Even Matters"- Lauryn Hill Oh my Miss Hill...I adore her more than words can say really....I even loved her Unplugged 2.0 which was not a hit with critics but she says on the album "if I feel like singing 'baby', over and over for 16 bars, I'm gonna do it" and as annoying as that might sound that's the reason I love her so much. When she sings anything you really feel like she feels every word every phrase and it's all very genuine, uncontrived and unafraid. And we all know how it can be when everything is right and it seems like "these buildings could drift out to sea, some natural catastrophe, still there's no place I'd rather be, cause nothing even matters to me [but you]"

That concludes my list. I'm sure I've left out some of your favorites. Feel free to comment/leave suggestions below. There's always the possibility that I may have left an important one out :) I hope everyone had an amazing V-day spent with someone you love...your bf/gf, hubby/wifey, mom, dad, sister, brother, bff....cause that's what it's all about...letting the people you love know how much you care about them and appreciate them being in your life...even if it seems like it's about gifts and candy and hearts!

The Horror That is "Group Round"...

2010-02-10T23:17:00.002-06:00

Tonight was the infamous make-it-or-break-it "Group Round" of Hollywood week. Generally I loathe this part of the competition for a couple reasons (forgive me if I addressed this last season)

1.The winner of American Idol will more than likely be a solo act (save for Chris Daughtry who you'll remember took 3rd...not that it mattered, and joined a band where he still is, the lead singer) so why should it be important for the potential winner to excel in a group setting? 2.Group Round is more about causing inter-contestant drama than it is about the actual singing 3.The end result is typically less than stellar with 1! 1 exception! which was Danny Gokey's group's amazing performance of "Somebody to Love" from last season. Even the best of the crop can end up in a bunk group and get the shaft. Oops ok fine...and Blake lewis group was ok too...

The show kicked off by showing us a girl, on the phone crying, her WHOLE FACE covered in mascara! Awesome. I can tell this is going to be...awesome. ::sarcasm::

Ry Ry fills us in that 96 peeps are participating in group round. (Remember this for when I tell you how many made it through!)

Stand out groups...how do we wanna do this? Best to worst, worst to best? Surrrreee lets do it like that.

Newly crowned "Bain of My Idol Existence" is........drum roll please......MARY POWERS! aka Fairuza Balk's twin...from here on out I'm calling her FBT...yesssssss....FBT was apart of a group which called themselves "The Dreamers" fitting since it seemed only in their dreams were they making through group round hah hah hah too easy I tell ya...too easy. First it takes them forever to decide who to even keep in the group, then FBT annoys everyone spouting off about the way they're rehearsing even prompting a snap from an Idol staffer when she tries to tell him to slow down [his piano playing] when he's attempting to help the hopeless group at 2am. As one would expect they totally blow their performance and by some kind of miracle FBT some how makes it through. And if I wasn't t'ed off enough just from that, they interview her post performance and she says (now keep in mind we've pretty much seen her turn her back on her whole group) "I love everyone in my group and I wish them the best but I'd never work with them again". PUH-Fucking-leeese. If she were any faker I'd re-name her Heidi Montag for crying out loud. Loves them? Wishes them the best? She loves them like she loves herpes...like she loves her MIA baby daddy--oops too far? Crap. Moving on...

Team Phoenix with Morea, Jermain#1, Kat, Ben and Ben? Ummm i think i wrote that down wrong? Anywho, Morea was in Go Go gokeys group last year so she takes charge this year only to be snapped at by the vocal coach Debra who tells them, "You have no clue what you're doing!" hahaha take that Morea. Yup...she wins second place for most obnoxious after FBT. So Kat bails at the 9th hour hoping to avoid "humiliating herself" because she knows she'll screw up. Could be just me but you just became known on national TV as a quitter...that might be considered worse than "possibly" humiliating yourself when in actuality maybe she could've nailed it? We'll never know! Then Morea bombs by forgetting the words (Idol suicide) and only Jermain#1 and Ben make it.

Destiny's Wild apparently all found eachother because they all have ultra weird names: Todrick, Theri (who thinks she's Keri Hilson btw), Jareb (white guy, wtf?) and Siobhan. They had some good choreography which was further amped up by Todrick's back flips however the vocals didnt match the moves. The harmonies were a mess and yet, they all made it.

Team Denver/Mighty Rangers-All I wanted whenever they would show these guys was to rip those ridiculous nerd glasses off Maddie. They're too big for her face and she looks mentally challenged. And then to find out she does not only own a red pair, but also a hot green pair made me want to stab myself in my eye with the remote. This group was lyrically challenged and only Nerd Glasses and Tori Kelly made it. Mark cried....I did actually feel bad for him, not cause he didn't make it, but cause he was doing the hiccup cry on TV. So. Sad. You're a grown man. Get it together....dont forget the words next time.

Team Awesome, which consisted of Big "having a baby" Mike, Lil Castro, Seth "son w/autism" Robbins and Jonas Hair (aka Tim Urban). So ummm these guys were really in the words of Randy jackson, "just ok for me" and It was obvious only Big Mike was actually decent. Jonas hair was strained, shakey and all around disgusting which I guess Simon has a hard on for cuz that little bitch made it through again! So did Big Mike. Lil Castro to my saddness didn't and neither did Autism dad, Seth.

I found the following groups underwelming: Neopolitan--only Thaddeus was good for me, the rest could go, they all made it through...not sure why? Especially Liz, pink hair girl...she was painfully regular. Charity, Ashley (my fav) and Michelle were just ok with "Irreplaceable", sang well but not creative or exciting by any means. They all made it too. Janell, Jermain #2 and Casey (Hanson brother) also all made it. Janell was not as good as last night.

Best Group goes tooooo......Andrew Garcia's group! haha...yeah i know they only showed him pretty much and no one else. Doesn't matter....everything that guy does is solid gold. Love love love him. Plus they did "No One" awesome song choice and what did I say about Katie Stevens singing like a black girl? huh? Yeah...she was awesome...Kara said she could win it...i don't think I'd go that far this early on...but she'll be up there fo shizz.

So kiddies, 71 of the 96 made it past group round. Looks like after 8 seasons of watching people flub words, staying up late not rehearsing, people finally figured out how to work it. I'm pumped for things to return solo style next week. Much more enjoyable. And then maybe they'll show Crystal Bowersox again...man I love her.

Welcome to Hollywood Week, Ellen and the Return of My Idol Blog :)

2010-02-09T23:06:00.005-06:00

Hellooooooo my fellow Idoloonies! I'm sure you've been wondering where I am and missin me and all sorts of stuff. And if you haven't well....ummm....well....anywho! Idol blog is back for Season 9! I decided that the opening auditions were not good enough for the blog....too much filler...not enough quality. I can sum up the opening rounds with this equation: 2 single moms + 1 country bumpkin+ 1 near death experience+ 1 handicapped family member+ too young to be that talented + pants on the ground+ a pleutherah of middle fingers and lots of crying= Idol opening auditions. (And that's the first and last time I'll mention the POG bc between Brett Favre and youtube covers, I think it's had it's full 15 min).

On to the important stuff! Tonight's episode was the start of Hollywood week and also the first time we got to see Ellen as the new Idol judge, something I had been slightly wary about...

First round in Hollywood was "Sudden Death" which meant get into a group of 8, instruments allowed if you so chose and sing 1 song for your life.

First up: Katie Stevens, 17 singing Stevie's "For Once in My Life". I loved her. She def can sing...has something special sort of has that white-girl-sounding-like-black-girl thing happening...comparable to Jo Jo. Katie was in after this round. She'll go far....not sure if she's top 12 material yet but we'll see...I'll call it right now and say top 50 for sure.

Next up winner of the Most Annoying Contestant Award: Ski-bo-ski aka Antonio (much better name than ski-bo-ski RIGHT?) singing an overdone Idol audition song, "Ain't to Proud to Beg" and so very sorry Ski but your version left us all wondering how you even made it to Hollywood. In addition to the fact that his vocals were no better than mediocre karaoke, he creeped around the stage like a molester stalking young girls leaving Ellen to point out, "There's a fine line between sexy and scary". (This is the start of good things to come from her). Big surprise, Ski was out.

Next up--1 of my 2 count em' 2 ONLY favs from the opening auditions, Mr. Andrew Garcia. The kid who grew up in the projects, whose dad looked like he'd def handled a glock before with a full sleeve tattoo crying about his son doing better than him. Andrew decided to go big or go home with a cover of Paula's "Straight Up". This totes made him look like an R&B Kris Allen...smooth, emotional...awesome original (?) cover. My only fear from this is that he showed off the goods too soon and he'll peak too early...but I'm hoping he'll prove me wrong. Top 12 material FO SHO.

My favorite country bumpkin, which is a total oxy moron btw bc I pretty much an over that story with Idol contestants but this girl was straight hicktown so you had to love her a little, Vanessa. This girl shops at the dollor store for everything and spends her days on the porch of her mama's trailer! She really had me hopeful with her opening audition. She tanked with her choice of "No Rain" and she seemed to have lost all the qualities we loved from when we first saw her. She no longer sounded country and the nervousness made her lose her spunky trailer trash luster. Vanessa-out.

Following Vanessa we got to see another montage of people crying. I don't understand why Idol producers keep subjecting us to this? #1...it's a TV show....what r u crying about? #2...how is this supposed to make us feel? Are we supposed to feel bad for them? Or ew, sad for them? Cause mostly I just feel embarressed for them that they are on TV crying in front of millions of people bc they lost on a reality TV show (ZING!)...but maybe that's just me?

Now to the people you knew were getting cut bc really they shouldn't have made it to Hollywood in the first place. (Did anyone besides me feel like they sent a lot of mediocrity to Hollywood? When I saw this part I felt like these people who chosen to fail in Hollywood). Cornelius-I-have-a lot-of-stripper-friends who split his pants was terribly off key and boring. Maegan Wright (which who spells their name like that??) should've brought her little brother to Hollywood cause without him, she was just off key and sad. Amedeo, the giant loud Italian guy, double awful. I think they picked him originally only bc they thought they;d be tackled and suffocated by him if they didn't? In Hollywood they were a safe distance away from the stage in safety...

Ok soo...some stand outs for me:

Haeley Vaughen-who labeled herself the "black girl who sings country" also plays guitar and she's quite good...has a sort of Brandi Carlisle quality...however, I don't think she's as awesome as the judges think she is and I'm doubtful she could handle the pressure of the top 12

Ashley Rodriguez my #2 fav from the opening auditions made it through...big surprise...(they didn't show her sing, I'm guessing they're saving her bug moment for the later rounds). Shes gorgeous and talented...unless she becomes boring, she'll be top 12.

I love love loved: Lily Scott (peacock earrings)...she has Adele style...but prettier...not so harsh, Casey James (long lost brother of the Hansons) sucked me in with his blues guitar playing...could have one trick pony written all over but somehow I doubt it, DiDi Benami singing "Terrified" ummm yeah she's top 12. She'll be the Brooke White of the competition...she sounds like the love child of Colbie Caillat and Regina Spector. Best of the Night goes to Crystal Bowersox's soulful rendition of "Natural Woman" which I feel might (gasp!) rival Kelly's from season 1. Her big notes and her small notes were all kinds of awesomeness...total control with genuine feeling behind the whole thing. She's the only contestant who I actually was ok with saying that she wanted to make it to give her son a better life.

Biggest WTF winners of the day: Mary Powers aka Fairuza Balk lookalike doing Pink's "Sober"...ummm she has karaoke written all over her and when she said (through tears)"this will change my whole family's life" i wanted to remind her how many top 12-ers don't even get record deals and how she's not even close to that yet. Don't count your chickens before they hatch sister. Also Tim Urban---uhhh did they have ear plugs in when he auditioned? And were they also wearing those same ear plugs in Hollywood? I felt that they were seduced by his Joe Jonas hair and they need to get over it quick. This kid has no natural talent and he's so nervous he's about ready to pee himself on stage. Get rid of him!!!

So that's it lovelies...weigh in below! Osterbauer-OUT!

Idol Finale!

2009-05-20T22:53:00.002-05:00

Well Idolers, this is it. My very last blog of the season! I must say, tonight's show "for me" (heh heh) was pretty much the perfect cap on the season. I think this might have been the first time that I knew I wouldn't be upset no matter who won. Sure I felt that Adam should win because of his incredible vocal skill and ability to turn songs on their head. But Kris has equally matched talent in both those areas only in a completly different style than Adam. What Adam has in glory notes, Kris makes up for in personableness and emotion. I was excited tonight more for the show for once than to see who wins.

We started out in Idol tradition with the top 13 all clad in white performing "So What" which was oddly fitting considering the context. Only one of those contestants was the winner, but "so what" (most of them?) are still rock star(s). The opening number reminded me how much I wished Alexis had made it further and how she totally deserved to be on the Idol tour more than Oil Rig, Twisty and Scott. Speaking of Scott, I welcomed the return of watching his dancing. I know, it's not right, but it's so funny!

Next up, the only performance sans season 8 Idol contestants was D. Cook singing the saddest song on his album "Permanent". I really could not believe given the recent passing of his brother that he had the strength to go through with that performance. But I loved the song and obviously it was hard for him to bring all the emotion behind it forward. Very gutsy and heart breaking. Yup, still totally in love with D.Cook.

One person I wasn't looking forward to seeing tonight and could've lived without was Lil Rounds performing "Cue (Que?) the Rain" with the Queen as in Latifah. I thought the performance was good. I love the Queen. Her look was awesome from the boobs up. Not sure who convinced her to wear a jumpsuit but maybe not such a great idea? I mean, I guess I'm all about people accepting their body and everything but you can love your shape and dress for it. You know what I mean? Lil on the other hand finally had something cute on. The pattern on her corset top was actually flattering and her pants didn't make her shelf butt look even more shelf-like for once.

Alexis with Anoop and Jason Mraz was cool. I don't think I'll ever really tire of hearing "I'm Yours". Such a great feel good song. Once again, totally bummed Alexis didn't do better in the competition. Here's to you Alexis, hoping some record label picks you up and does you justice!

While I thought Kris' performance with Keith Urban was great, I felt that it ended up paling in comparison to Adam with KISS. "Kiss a Girl" is a sweet song (sweet like sugar, not like how I usually mean it as a synonym for awesome) and I actually liked Kris singing it more than Keith (he he). I don't know what it is with him but he seems like the biggest wuss to me. I pefer the bad boys. That probably explains my attraction to guyliner...

The girls got "Glamorous" with Fergie which was cute. Megan looked like a total whore in her one peice hotpants jumpsuit. She also sounded awful. Man...can't wait to see HER on the tour. (Gross) My dislike for her knows no bounds--er "boundries" haha. Jasmine was underwhelming and Allison's dress was awesome. Fergie looked super hot. I would give my right arm for those legs even though that would make me a one armed chick with hot legs.

Bikini B came back with her new silicone friends. I can't believe Ry Ry kissed her! I hope he had her inspected for mouth herpes before he did that. I loved the look on Randy's face when he realized she had some surgical work done. Men are shameless. So the only highlight of her appearance was the opportunity to hear Kara finish what she started! I loved how pissed off Bikini B looked when Kara came out (even though I'm sure she knew it was going to happen). Kara sounded really awesome. She can def sing! The surprise bikini reveal of hers was funny and how she seemed so embarrassed even though she clearly has an awesome body.

Probably my favorite performance of the night (not including any of Adam or Kris') was Allison with Cyndi Lauper. "Time After Time" is such a great song and Allison sang it really beautifully. I loved the end of the song when it seemed like her and Cyndi were just jamming out.

I love love loved Adam with KISS. The look on his face at the very beginning when he was doing the opening part was priceless. He looked so excited about what was coming and he knew everyone was going to love it but it was his secret until the end of the opening. The little eyebrow raise on "night"...oh yeahhhh. That's the Adam I love. The crazy outfits, the pyro...it was awesome. I love Adam's mom. She sang along with Lionel Ritchie and KISS. It also seemed like Adam's parents were emulating his style with their black attire and Adam's mom's accesories.

Adam and Kris doing "We are the Champions" with Queen...frickin awesome! I was confused by the random crowd of people doing the backup singing but it was awesome.

So then finally we got the results and KRIS WINS. I can't say I'm surprised. I suspected the Danny votes would all shift to Kris. It would be interesting to know how close it was. I'm happy for Kris because he really is so talented and humble and sweet. But I hope Adam gets a good of a deal. He really deserves it. The lower key on "No Boundries" really made a world of difference. Did they even slow the tempo? It was still corny and a mouthful of words but Kris mde it work. I loved how when he walked to the platform behind the judges Jorge and Lil stayed very close to him like they wanted to catch some of the winning vibe.

I really think this was probably the best season overall talent-wise. To have so many people that were so good has never really happened before. The closest was Taylor Hicks' season with Daughtry, Katherine and Kelly Pickler. I'm pumped for the Idol tour! Finally I'll get to witness Adam's glory notes, Kris' skin and Allison's awesomeness in person!

So that's it Idolers. Osterbauer. OUT.

Acoustic Rock vs Glam Rock, let the games begin...sort of

2009-05-19T22:02:00.002-05:00

This year American Idol didn't have the luxury of having 2 contenders with the same name. Instead they decided to pin tonight's "battle" (I use the term loosely given the actual feel for the show) of "acoustic rock" vs "glam rock". The funny part is, Tonight was Adam's most non glam night ever. And Kris, reached heights far beyond the realm of acoustic music. To get us all in the competitive mood, Idol's producers chose to show us takes from Adam and Kris' first auditions where they had them read a script about how they were going. to. be. the. next. American. Idol.

First round, contestant's favorite songs from this season. I was already against this category since I would much rather hear a new song instead of one they've already done.

Adam chose "Mad World" which was my favorite performance of his and a very good choice. Unfortunately because it was SO awesome i think the second go around lost some luster. I don't if it was because Adam was joking around with Ry Ry right before or what but the dark sad feeling that came out so much the first time was missing for me. The vocal performance was awesome, but the feeling behind the words about sitting at the lunch table and being an outsider didn't move me this time like it did before. I also thought they went over board on the smoke factor. Shadow of Adam was singing for 20 seconds too long. I wanted to see his face!

Kris chose "Ain't No Sunshine" which was another awesome choice and Kris' best of the night. He played the grand piano instead of the keyboard like he did before. This added some drama and intensity to the performance. Lucky for Kris, the first time was good but the second time was SO much better! He had more confidence and passion this time around and it was awesome!

Round 1- goes to Kris...Simon agrees.

Round 2, Simon Fuller's choice.

Adam gets "A Change is Gonna Come". At first i was disappointed with this choice but then within the first few notes I loved it. This was bluesy Adam, and we had never met before. And I was a lookin' and a likin'! Finally Adam reminded us what a beautiful tone he has in his lower range. He showed really beautiful restraint at the beginning and then built up to those amazing glory notes we all know and love. I'm still in aw every time he hits the glory note, hold it for eternity and still has air to bring it down in a lovely way. This was Adam's best of the night.

Kris got "What's Goin' On" also a good pic. I was pretty ticked off at Simon's critique that it sounded like some guys in their bedroom singing to Marvin Gaye. Kris put all his emotion behind those words and really gave the song his own flavor. It was classic Marvin, mixed with a modern Mraz-ish spin. It was relaxed, cool and relevant. It was Kris doing what he does best, acoustic, emotional guitar playing serenade.

Round 2- Adam (Apparently only Simon can decide who wins the rounds)

Round 3- Kara's God awful excuse for music called "No Boundries". Note to Idol, I appreciate when the contestants get to sing different original songs. #1 Then it's possible for two artists with two distinct musical styles to find a song that some what suits them #2 Then we don't have to suffer through the same corny song twice

Adam- I agree with Randy, Adam can sing anything. However, that doesn't mean he should. Adam's voice loves drama. There's no drama in this candy and rainbows feel good number. He did everything he could with it. But i was not lovin it. Even Kara's face after didn't look so thrilled with the result. It's funny that Simon for once decided not to insult the song writer. There must be a rule against it when they're a judge versus just a fan.

Kris worked No Boundries slightly better than Adam but he missed a word or two before the part about the hurricanes which was a shame. Lucky for him, no one cared to mention it. He def put every ounce of emotion he had left into that performance but no matter what he did it just wasn't believeable.

I don't understand why they made them finish with the original song. It's common knowledge that the Idol first single usually sucks. It full of corny sentiments and it only works in the moment the confetti drops at the Kodak. That song did nothing really for either contestant.

So that's it Idolers, our last Tuesday night together. I must say, I'm pretty sad to see another season end. Idol season is what i live for. I have to say, I had a hard time deciding who to vote for tonight. I would've voted for both except my fiance reminded me then my votes would just cancel each other out. I have a feeling most of the Danny votes will go to Kris, so I voted for Adam. I'm pretty sure they'll both get picked up and I hope both of them get million dollar deals because they both deserve it. But only one gets it for sure and they find out tomorrow night! I'll be partying with my fellow Idolers, eating homemade gauc and loving every minute. I hope you will too!

And the Finale Goes to...

2009-05-13T23:11:00.003-05:00

Tonight's Idol felt every bit the pre-curser to next week's finale. We started off with shameless movie promotion for Night at the Museum 15 or whatever they're at now. And I was some what per-turbed until Bill Hader started singing the Idol theme music and then all was forgiven!

I'm guessing that Debbie the stage manager who was injured last week must still be out because there was some weird crap happening that I felt like we, the viewers at home should not have seen. 1. Paula's chair was visibly empty right up until Ry Ry introduced her. 2. The girl with water bottle who wandered aimlessly on stage when Alicia Keys was attempting to talk to the audience about Keep A Child Alive.

We found out that my 300+ votes were amongst 88 million, 1 million separating the top 2? I thought he said top two but it could've very well been bottom. (Hey! It's hard to take notes and pay as close attention as you'd like!)

As I said before, the lovely Alicia Keys made an appearance to promote her charity helping African children get the drugs they need to treat HIV. She looked amazing however she might consider wearing some "petals" next time she wears that dress. (Ladies know what I mean). This turned into a mini Idol Gives back segment when the adorable Noah came out to sing I'm the Greatest or "worlds-a-great-test". So cute. Nothing like a really cute happy kid working the idol stage like a pro!

We finally got to see the footage from the finalists' home town visits. It was sweet seeing Jamar make a return (I felt happy inside for you Cody!) and to see Kris' dad emotions come pouring out. Was it just me, or was his wife making an annoyed face right before they went into 4-way hug with Kris and his parents? Let me know...more fuel to my hypothesis (wishful thinking) that he'll ditch her the moment he becomes famous, er rich and famous rather. I really loved Adam going back to the arts center and taking questions from the kids. I also enjoyed the Fox reporter jumping up and down and asking Adam to do her eyeliner. Now there's a woman after my own heart! Please note how both Kris and Adam were shown singing during their home town packages but Danny was not...he he he.

Jordin Sparks pretty much killed her (new single?) "Battlefield" co-written by Idol regular Ryan Teddar. I love how intense she is when she performs. I think her vocals seemed strained at parts but she was going for the drama so it kind of worked. I've seen her live and she's amazing, sounds perfect in person so I accepted her minor slip-ups as flukes.

Katy Perry chose to wear her signature granny panty leo which still is super unflattering! Why she keeps wearing this style outfit, I have no clue. I loved her Adam cape...curious if he knew she was doing that? She never sounds that great live but I do love her songs. And her brand of crazy. She's def not ever boring.

Now for the best part. The first person into the finale is.....KRIS!!! Yay!!! Let's say it all together now....MY VOTING WORKED!! Then they tried to trick us by making us think it was possible for Adam to ousted by reminding us how Danny has never been bottom 3. What-eva! There was no possible way Adam was leaving over Danny, even with all those sympathy votes! I loved seeing Adam's mom hugging all Adam's friends. So cute. I'm super pumped for this finale and so happy that my people made it!! They like me! They reeeeally reeeally...oops, wrong blog...anyways! I hope you're all as excited as me for next week!

Judges' Choice = Judges' Idol?

2009-05-13T12:58:00.002-05:00

First i apologize for the late blog. It was a long boring day in cubicle land yesterday (and today obviously) and I just couldn't keep my eyes open past the end of Fringe...or see the end of Fringe...hmm I wonder what happened? It could've had something to do with me voting like crazy (150+ votes (yeah that's each!)for my two faves) that may have put a lot of strain on my eyes. Anywho, back to the show!

How annoying were the judges tonight?? Seriously, after Kris' first song I wanted them all to go away. They couldn't stop arguing for 1 second to actually tell Kris how they felt he did on his song. All Kara could muster was, "why didn't you just play guitar and do an acoustic version?" Umm maybe because he was saving that glory for a cooler cover? I wish that when the judges started doing childish things like, throwing coloring books at each other, or covering each other's mouths, that the cameras would choose to ignore it. Poor Kris was standing up there trying to take in any form of constructive critiscm/praise and all he got was a good view of Kara covering Simon's mouth/strangling him. When Kris finished with his second song, Kanye West's "Heartless" which was worthy of all sorts of praise, the first thing that came to Paula's mind was to first insult Simon, saying "You're very brave for singing a song that's about Simon." Huh? Last time I checked Paula your first priority was to judge the vocal quality of the contestants! Not the life choices of your fellow judges. Because God knows it appears Simon has no qualms about Paula's painkiller addiction, or else he would stop flirting with her all the frickin' time. Even Ryan seemed geniunely annoyed stating, "We'll be back, provided that Fox chooses to let us back on the air". If Adam had gone already I would've hoped they didn't come back. It was a total judge circus last night and the 3 finalists deserve better! end rant.

Speaking of the finalists! So Danny did "Dance Little Sister" some song I've never heard before. The performance was ok...the vocals were too shouty right from the get go. Danny's voice is quite similar to original artist and that style really does suit him. However, he was the only one who's judges' chioce song wasn't a current hit, or even a hit to my (born in 1982) knowledge. It's a good thing that was first because by his second song I think everyone had forgotten about it. "You're So Beautiful" was much better! He actually showed some restraint, sang in a more pleasant smooth tone for the majority of the song. I'm not sure how I feel about his taking it to the gospel height that he did but at least he was being creative. It was very "I Believe I Can Fly", which, maybe he just should've sang that? One thing, and people might hate me for this but I felt like he was using his wife's death just one more time to cash in on as many sympathy votes as possible. While it maybe worked, the thought doesn't sit well with me. Danny's constant jabbering has been bothering me too. The cocky undertone that resonates underneath everything he says hasn't really been earned.

Kris' version of "Apologize" was great. It started out slightly boring and it sounded like he was just missing those high falsetto notes. But I loved the passion that came out with the line "the angel Heaven made me think was you". No matter what Kris does, he always tells the story behind the songs and makes you pay special attention to lyrics. And I think he actually performed the song better than Ryan Teddar did when he was on last year's finale singing with D'Archie. "Heartless" was probably the second best performance of the night for me. Kris' tone and pitch was awesome. He brought a Jason Mraz flavor to the song that really worked. Even though the song has been covered before by The Fray and Mia (f/ MTV's Taking the Stage), I felt his version stood on its own. And it's too bad Kara was so lost in wishing he had done that for Apologize that she couldn't enjoy it or let Kris enjoy it. Kris deserves to be in the finals which is why 152 of my votes went to him.

Adam "Glory Note" Lambert gave us all what we love about him in the form of personally Bono approved "One", which begs the question, did Bono also personally approve D.Cook doing "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For"? And if so, why was it a bigger deal this time? I loved the slow opening of "One" and was happy to see he chose to pick it up at the end. Like Kris, Adam really wants us all to hear the lyrics as he's feeling them. I love love love that about him. Both "One"and "Cryin" were amazing performances and I was happy to see, FINALLY that a judge was actually trying to help a contestant by urging people to vote for him. (Even if it was half self serving since Simon picked out Adam's song). 158 votes for Adam and prayers that a shock elimination tonight is not in order.

This would've been a great show if not for the self indulgent idiots who get paid millions to call themselves judges. Lets hope they get a reality check and remember what their purpose is next week.

I don't know about you but I'm having an Idol finale party! And hoping that in the end it IS cause for celebration!

P.S Danny forgot the words when he went back to his hometown and performed "Billie Jean". You can find it on youtube.

Top 3 announced--"Cry Baby" oh and I did!!

2009-05-06T21:39:00.002-05:00

Please excuse me Idolers. I'm sure at some point I'll stop weeping and sniffling but for now I guess you'll just have to bear with me. Because tonight Idol might have ruined me. I'm going to assume no one read this without watching the show first or you haven't watched the show but aren't planning to watch so I'm free to spoil spoil as much as I want. Tonight Idol showed me 2 things which are def apparent in season 8. #1 Producer manipulation works. #2 A girl can no longer win Idol.

I guess before I rant about those two things, I should do a quick recap of the show.

The group number with SLASH (rock "gods" get to be in all caps) was pretty cool. SLASH shredded like crazy which led me to do one of my favorite things, which is ask Matt if he can play guitar just like him. Obviously he can't which is why it's so dang funny to ask! haha Anywho, we got to witness some great duet action from Allison and Adam. I think the overall performance was good but I dunno...I found myself bored? I did notice that Adam's jacket looked like it had been constructed by Britney Murphy's character in Little Black Book. And SLASH had laryngitis? I don't understand why he was so quiet?

Danny talking about "the scream" was kinda funny and I almost started to like him for the story (even though it was way too long. Note to Danny's future PR team, teach him the art of the "sound bite") until he said that they will be "using it in movies soon". You're pretty big Mr., but not that BIG. Was it me or was Ry Ry silently bleeped when he was talking to Allison about her back talking? Matt thought he called Simon a dick. EW.com on the scene will know...

So Paula's Idol performance debut was like watching some lady do Britney Spears but in slow mo? I did appreciate all the choreography and special effects but other than that i found it a snore. And part of me just kept thinking, "she's too old for this!"I found it humorous when they showed the judges' table and Paula was missing. Obviously that was pre-taped and obviously she lip sank the entire auto-tuned thing. I did love her Amy Adams' Oscar necklace she had on.

The whole No Doubt performance (obviously NOT lip synced) was awesome. In case you were wondering, Gwenny has still got it!! It was like a 1997 flashback or something! Girl was sporting her signature colored bra with white tank top and red lips. She was bouncing around that stage like nobody's biz-ness! Man, I love her. "Just a Girl" SO appropriate for tonight...

The first one into the top 3 issss......KRIS!! Whah?? Ok so I'm totally psyched because now I'm thinking, SWEET, my people made it into top 3 because it was either Danny or Kris going home right? RIGHT???

Then Daughtry's fine self comes out. Oh man...he's super sexxy. With his freshly sculpted facial hair, shiny head and perfectly shaped eyebrows...helloooo baby! The song sounded pretty good too. Chris vocals were in top form. It sort of looked like he was having in ear problems at the start but he held it up. When they replayed his Idol elimination I could feel the blood rising up in my face like it was that day again...the look on Katherine's face was crazy...yet another precursor to tonight's end.

So then we find out Adam is in..DUH and....I was literally cheering in my notes. They look like this: "Allison! All-is-son! All-is-son!" and then it happened! Ry Ry says Danny is safe and my heart breaks. Tears in my eyes and that's it. Idol's only girl standing is out. My 112 votes weren't enough. Allison does the most emotional heart breaking reprise of "Cry Baby" and basically that's what I was right then.

If Allison can't make it to the top 3 then i find it hard to believe that a girl can win Idol ever again. Allison is cute, she has amazing vocal ability and is able to interpret the emotion of a song better than most people twice her age. If a girl with this much going on, can't make it, who can? Here's what i figure, most of the show's viewers are women...women who will always pick a heartthrob (Kris) and always pick a sob story (Danny) that will come out ahead of any girl. Or any girl who isn't sugary sweet like Jordin Sparks. My new mission for next season, provided the talent is there, is to get a girl in the finals!! The finals.

Now that our lady is out, the way is paved the producer pimped ending of a Gokey/Glambert finale. One bright spot in tonight's results is that Kris made it through. Unlike Simon, I love Kris' humble demeanor. I don't think that saying he wasn't expecting to make it that far meant that he didn't think he should be there. Kris has consistently beautiful tone, and has shown awesome creativity in his arrangements which is more than i can say for the Gokey. In addition to that, Kris sings songs that we could put on the radio today. Not 50 years ago. So kids, lets try to look like we know talent and vote Kris into the finals!!

Idol "Rocks" GNR style...sort of

2009-05-05T22:38:00.002-05:00

Tonight the top 4 put their best rockin step forward with the help of rock legend Slash. Leather was ever present. We had songs from greats such as Janis, Led Zeppelin and the Beatles and I must say, a valiant and sometimes successful effort was made by all.

Am I the only one that was shocked to hear that Slash has been "rocking" since 1985?? Umm yeah White Bear Lake education wasn't the greatest but even I know that means this dude's been at it for 24 years?? Slaaahhhsh is OVER 40?? Yikes! I was a wee girl of 2 when GNR made their debut meanwhile Allison Iraheta hadn't even been born yet..and wouldn't be for 10 years! Did she even know who he was? She probably didn't even know he was in a band before Velvet Revolver. Ok fine, I should give her more credit. She is a "rock goddess" after all...haha oh Kara.

But I digress, back to the music! First up Adam with Zeppelin's "Whole Lotta Love". Did anyone else notice how Adam's jacket seemed a lot like Kara's? Did she copy him?? First Randy's critiques, now Adam's clothing? What's next?? (Notice how I assume she copied him, not the other way around?) This was everything we expected from Adam, lots of leather, blue eyeliner, new sassy extreme asemtrical hair the high pitched wail we've all grown to know and love. Also, can I just say I'm am loving me some Glambert sexxy snarl action! rrrrrrrrr (I'm unsure how to type purring sooo yeah...that was it). 108 votes for Adam.

Next up Allison with Janis Joplin's "Cry Baby". Hell-O! I almost wish they didn't show her in the in the interview package wailing on the chorus because that was the money part. Even though it did sound a lot like the original, I think she made it her with the runs on the verses. She injected it with high emotion and to be able to come even close to matching Janis on that song is a feat in itself. I loved her new Glambert created hair style. Very rock n roll. And also loved her dig at Simon for not talking enough and that she recognized the "Piece of my Heart" had been done a few times too many on Idol (see A'siah Epperson, Carrie Underwood, Candace Coleman, Nikki McKibben).

Duet #1 a first for Idol and one I hope they'll continue if the feeling is right. Danny and Kris doing "Renegade". This was a pretty cool song for them to do. They sounded really awesome on all the harmony parts. Kris' tone on the verses was better than Danny's but Danny sang more of the correct notes. Kris was slightly off for almost every note of the verses. Bonus points for Kris though for rocking out harder than Danny. I loved watching Kris wrap up the first part and grab the mic stand while Danny was still just standing there.

Kris' doing "Come Together" i thought was awesome. It was like the rock+ the MJ cover that I love SO MUCH. He has such a distinct style and I felt like he rocked it but maintained everything that was him. I didn't think that he was trying too hard. I genuinely felt that he had that sassiness in him and he just let it out with this performance. I loved how he stopped to get the audience clapping along, that showed some real performance skill. I loved his version even more than Carly Smithson's from last year.

When Ry Ry first said "Dream On" I was hoping he was announcing the duet with Adam and Allison. Instead it was Gokey's choice. I almost felt bad for Danny during the interview package when Slashy kind of chuckled over Danny's scream he was trying desperately hard to land and the end of the song. Fine sure, he got up there, but was it pleasing to the ears? I no think so! His opening verse lacked passion and the growling was a lot of overcompensating. You could see on his face he knew that he was fighting a losing battle up there. Once again Kara having trouble with numbers telling Danny he should've done early Aerosmith like "Cryin" which was actually a lot later than "Dream On". I have a feeling they would've hated it either way. Cryin would've been seen as playing it safe.

Duet#2 "Slow Ride" was kind of that...a slow ride. I really wanted them to do something more amped up and exciting. Like Queen. It was really fun to see them together. They do compliment each other really well but there was so much potential for that duo to be larger than life and they didn't do it. Also, I love Adam's glam rock style but those pants were too tight for me. I could see it all and that made me feel uncomfortable...same goes for you, JoBros pants TOO TIGHT!

All in all I thought tonight was really enjoyable. I have a sick feeling that Kris could be going home tomorrow which is SO wrong. It should be Danny. He was clearly the worst tonight in my eyes. They always give Danny breaks and at this point, there should be no excuses. Like Randy loves to say, this is a singing competition and at the end of the day, the winner should be able to sing anything. Carrie frickin "country" Underwood covered "Home Sweet Home" for crying out loud. Allison sang "Someone to Watch Over me" but Danny can only do jazz, blues and ballads. And that's the truth. 100 votes for Kris. 112 for Allison...lets say bye bye to Danny tomorrow -K-? I think we're ready.

"Shocking" elimination? Not so much

2009-04-29T22:06:00.002-05:00

Right away tonight I knew something was up. You may have noticed this before. Ry Ry sometimes likes to pre-empt the results by throwing in "clues" during certain parts of the show. In this case it came right at the beginning when Ry Ry said "Who will get the SHOCK, tonight?...THIS....is AmERican Idol." Right away my mind was thinking...what could the shock be? Danny gone? Allison gone? Oh how wrong I turned out to be...

I was predicting Matt's outster all day so Matt's awesomely sexy solo on the group number made me sad that he was probably leaving. Was it just me, or did Allison seem to be off-pitch during the opening? It was easy to see whose vocal stylings really lent themselves to the jazz style. Danny and Matt sounded so at home while Kris was good, but Kris, Adam adding the drama with Allison reaching slightly. The harmony at the end resulted in a hot mess which was surprising since they were able to bring it together before with more people.

I loved the Idol cake fight. Well...loved that I wasn't in it. I'm the last person to be involved in anything like that. The whole time I laughed and cringed thinking of getting cake and frosting in my hair and under my fingernails...ewwww. I was that kid that didn't like rolling in the dirt and whenever I got food on my hands I needed it washed off like pronto. But if I lived in a mansion that more than likely has maids to clean up messes, then cake fight commence! The cleaning bill bit was sorta funny sorta not original.

I'm getting so good at figuring out the formula of these eliminations! So they separated into groups and then Adam was left in the middle. They made him choose a side and during the part where he was supposed to sit in the middle because he couldn't chose, HE CHOSE! Adam Adam Adam...you're not supposed to chose! You sit in the middle because you couldn't possibly think anyone was worthy of going home more than anyone else. Too bad for Adam...and for Kris, Adam tried to choose Allison and Danny's group only to be stopped by Ry Ry giving us the bad news that GASP Adam, Kris and Matt were our bottom 3!!! Huh? Well on the upside, MY SAVING ALLISON WORKED! On the bottom end....now I need to save Adam? So now I was still banking on Matt hitting the road.

Ok so Natalie Cole apparently can't sing anything other than "Unforgettable". She looked really pretty but the singing was not so good. I felt like the band was eating her alive. She looked like a scared little girl with that big band.

Hate to say it but Taylor Hicks sang better than Natalie Cole. Taylor did what Taylor does best and sang a song that sounded like Joe Cocker and Bob Seger put together. The song wasn't bad but it also wasn't original or made for pop radio. Also every time I looked up from my notes to see him I kept thinking, who is this old man on Idol?

So I totally called them sending one person to safety. I also said, "It should be Adam but they'll probably make us sweat it out and send Kris back". Oh what? Yeah i think I called that.

So I'm sorry but as much as i think Jamie Foxx is really cool and talented both as an actor and singer, whenever I see him I see this. Any other In Living Color fans out there? I did find his performance pretty electric and entertaining but still seeing Wanda! If you haven't seen the video for "Blame It" than you should know that there is a cameo from Mr. Ron Howard and how that came about is kind of a funny story. I loved how gracious and nice Jamie was when talking about the contestants. So much so in fact that I forgave him for the shameless movie plug.

Finally Adam safe and Matt is out. Matt's swan version of "My Funny Valentine" was def something special. This time, he was for sure emotionally connected he was more pitch perfect and I really loved it. I will miss my Matt...not as much as "sexy, sleazy" Kara but a lot just the same. But I'm not worried. Matt has probably the most potential for a great pop album right out of the gate. He'll have a song that sounds like "Wait For You" 2.0 and it'll be awesome. Just wait!

Rat Pack Night, Feelin' More than Good

2009-04-28T22:02:00.002-05:00

We're down to the top 5 and it is definitely becoming more than a close race! I can't really say that I had any big expectations for tonight because really I didn't. In fact when i think "Rat pack" I'm reminded of that tall skinny red head kid who could only sing Rat Pack...what was his name??Jonnnnn something...anywho!

I knew it was going to be a good show when the top 5 came out and all the boys were in suits and Allison had on a really gorgeous dress. Pretty (frilly skirt) and edgy (black satin corset top) at teh same time.

First up, the very dreamy, swoony man-cub Kris doing one of my favorite songs, "The Way You Look Tonight" (does this song remind anyone else of the scene in My Best Friend's Wedding when Durmot Mulroney sings to Julia Roberts on the boat?). I loved how he started out slow and sweet. The lyrics felt honest and heart felt. The tempo switch was a nice surprise and I felt that it made the song more "Kris". He is definitely in it to win it, even if he said he didn't feel his vocals matched the other contestants (a completely wrong observation!). Kris' performance was on pitch and like all his performances, you can feel his honesty in your heart and see it in his eyes. 44 votes for Kris.

Next up is Allison in her money dress. I love her video clip with Jamie Foxx when he asked her old she was and she said "Yes I am 5". Her rendition of "Someone to Watch Over Me" was awesome. The only kind of weird thing for me was how she chose to phrase the second line. Her pitch, her restraint and her tone were really beautiful. The last "Meeee" in her upper range was really gorgeous. Her mic skills and the runs she did were Mariah-esque. I didn't find her mechanical (as Simon did). I think she's all natural in her style and her delivery. 105 votes for Allison...no bottom 3 happening tomorrow for her.

Matt's "My Funny Valentine" was really good. Unfortunately it wasn't as good as everyone else. Sorry Jamie Foxx but I don't think that key change helped Matt very much. Yeah his last note was good, and it was nice to hear him in "full voice" for over 70% of the song rather than an off falsetto. But the opening part was a hair too low for him. He was trying to make it work and it wasn't awful but you could tell he was really concentrating the whole time on technical things rather than feeling the words. Bonus points for Matt since this song carries a high difficulty rating. 36 votes for Matt because well, I still love him!

Danny seemed to return to his old self with "Come Rain or Come Shine". He finally got away from being boring and depressing. His "swagger" has returned. I really love Danny as a bluesy soul singer. He plays that part well. I wouldn't say he was "Un-BEE-Leeevah-ble" because that was exactly the kind of performance I knew he was capable of but it was really really good. Paula once again forecasts the finals and Randy repeats his favorite critique "You Can sing!"

Back in the pimp spot was Adam...oh Adam. I watched Adam's performance twice and I got goosebumps both times in the same spot. When he opened and he got half down the stairs and snarled "goo-ood" I had to grab a towel to wipe the drool off my face! Seriously, that boy ooozes something so sexxy cool it's impossible not to see it. Even just seeing him walk down the stairs from behind, you could see it. The last note was full throttle amazing-ness the show has never known. You think he doesn't have control of notes like that but then he comes down and adds vocal nuances at the end and you realize he planned it all along. It's insane.

If Adam doesn't win, then America has really got it wrong. I want Allison to be safe and I won't be broken up if Danny goes home instead of Matt although I find that somewhat unlikely.

Disco week delivers more goodness

2009-04-22T21:50:00.002-05:00

You know what Idol-ers? You know what i love best about Idol? The feeling that I can actually control what happens. Even if Simon Fuller and Co. do have the last say and maybe totally manipulating me to want their preordained choices, I still feel somewhat like I can control what happens here. I don't know if you noticed but I've been saving Matt a lot...and Allison once. And the weeks where I "saved" Matt (by 100+ text message votes), I saved Matt!! I also saved Allison from the bottom 3 and I really truly believe that my many many votes from last night (289 total-YIKES!) played a part in what happened tonight.

But before we jump to the end, lets go back to where things started tonight. We were slapped in the face by the overly dramatic intro reminding us once again that TONIGHT. 2 IDOLS.WERE.GOING.HOME. A record of 45 million votes came in to decide their fate! Ooooooh Ahhhh

Speaking of ooh and ahh, I must say, that Paula has still got it! I really loved watching her choreograph the dance number for the Idols. She did not let them "step touch" all day which was sweet! Especially when the final product showcased itself clad in 70's garb. Kris looked wonderfully awkward. Danny looked ridiculous and Matt looked HOT! I was confused about why they were wearing headsets when they were clearly lip-syncing? Also, why didn't Adam have shades on?

I didn't get the Ford video soooo yeah...that's all I have to say about that.

I heard Ry Ry on the radio today talking about how he wasn't sure how they'd format the show with the double elimination. I thought to myself (seriously), I bet they'll get rid of someone right away. And low and behold, it happened! Lil was first ...annnd first to go! Na na na nah, na na nah hey hey good-bye Lil! (Sorry about the happy dance Lil fans, but gurl had to GO!) I have to say though, she did actually sing well, (finally) for her swan song tonight. She sounded more on pitch and she added more of herself instead of the Whitney runs she was doing last night. Too little too late lady.

Ok so this next part was really weird to me since I wasn't born until 1982 and hadn't heard of any of the following performers except for K.C (sans Sunshine Band). Frida Pain (sp?) was really cute and moved around a lot for an old lady. Did you see those guns? Don't get in a fight with her! Her singing was like what you'd expect from an old disco queen, decent still but lacking in upper range. The next woman, I think her name was Thelma Houston? She was awesome. I wish her dress matched her vocal skills because her boobs looked ready to explode in there! Not good. K.C was looking old and plump. And it disturbed me slightly that this man had sexy back-up singer dancers, one with very fake boobies happening.

Back to the eliminations, Kris- safe, Adam- safe, Danny-safe, Anoop bottom 2. Then we were down to Allison and Matt. I was sure Matt was bottom 2 but that Anoop would be going home. Then to my (and everyone else's?) surprise, Matt was safe and tragedy! Allison is bottom 2. (WTF America??) I know I know, I was part of the problem, voting for Matt 104 times and Allison only 44 but really people? Next week! Allison will be saved...by me!

David Archuleta sings live! None of this pre-taped nonsense. And man! Is he the cutest kid you've ever seen or what?? He sounded a little shaky in the beginning which I'll blame on Idol's apparently janky in-ears (which also plagued J.Hud). It was nice to see the little guy jumping around and dancing to something up tempo. He seemed so happy! He's like ponies, puppies and cotton candy all at once! I love love loved him talking to Allison and Anoop saying "You both have really great voices by the way" with a really genuine look of admiration on his baby face. Sweetest kid to ever be on Idol.

Then came the end where we all knew Anoop was going home. And like Lil, Anoop really brought it tonight for his last performance. He sounded really awesome, as good as he's ever been. His tone was really nice and he was nailing every note. He put more gusto into the words making it a lot less drab than it was last night. I love Anoop. I do. But it was his time to go. I'm not worried about him. I can see him making an Elliot Yamine-ish record already.

Anyways peeps, the moral of the story is, if you vote, you can control the universe! --ER show...I meant show.

Disco Night- 'Hot Stuff' Indeed!

2009-04-21T22:06:00.002-05:00

Tonight's Idol was full of surprises! First, Ry Ry opened Idol in front of a fiery screen. Then the Idols came out and Adam was not dressed for "disco". He was wearing a suit! And Kris was twins with Simon. Huh? He looked very cas (ual) for disco. Then out of nowhere! Lil is already singing! No theme intro, telling us about the disco era, and no interview package showing Lil with this week's non existent mentor. Hmm very curious.

Ok so on to Lil. Whoa Lil. Trying to find a correct note in her performance was like looking for Where's Waldo. Waldos everywhere but only one right one. I can see where bad critique after bad critique would get old and make you sad. But really Lil? How can you be so delusional? Did you just say "not karaoke at all"?? I'm pretty sure every vocal nuance Lil did in "I'm Every Woman" can be found in the Whitney version. I should know, I lived for The Bodyguard soundtrack circa 4th grade. (Fun facto about me, my friend Rachel and I tried out the for talent show singing "I Have Nothing"...we did not make it :( but we were in it 2nd, 3rd and 5th grade).

Not wasting any time, we move on the Kris. White T-shirted Kris holding his guitar...how I like him best. He's singing "She Works Hard for the Money" which he picked because it's a story. Right away I'm loving it. The drums, the acoustic "island" feel. For the first time I'm actually listening to other lyrics besides the title one. Kris knows this chick and he's serious about her...and her 'work ethic'. I loved this performance also because it was very (I would say too much but it was too good) reminiscent of J. Castro's Mariah week performance of "I Don't Wanna Cry". 60 votes and a funny shopping analogy from Paula for Kris.

Danny is next with a pretty good version of "September". It was basically standard Gokey. The shaky beginning verse, opening to a hot chorus, got borderline shouty and he worked the stage with not too horrendous of dance moves. I was with Simon on this, it was good, but not special. Paula loved it and it caused her to develop esp where she sees people "in the finals".

My pick for best of the night is Allison. Now, I have never heard Donna Summer's "rock version" of Hot Stuff so I'm not sure how close it was to Allison's; regardless she frickin rocked it out tonight. She had the rockstar entrance with the screen splitting and her on the stairs. She did the dark slow start and then really rocked it out in middle, bringing it home in the end with a note so crazy it was of Aguilera-esque proportions. (Trust me, I watched it twice and it was that good). Self indulgent-smulgent. It was awesome!! 44 votes and downloading that for Allison!

Second place, is Adam. Adam was looking super duper fine tonight in the sleek suit and sort of faux hawk. I think he looks so much better with his hair up off his face, don't you? Even though it was slow song week for Adam (following his every other week pattern) I thought since it was disco he would forgo the pattern and do something crazy complete with John Travolta Sat Night Fever ensemble. So I was pleasantly surprised when he shows up in a suit and does the most heart breaking rendition possible of "If I Can't have You". Whoever that lucky boy is that he's singing about, I hope he...um well...knows how lucky he is! I loved Paula's review saying that it was like he ripped his heart out and left it on the stage. I felt the same! I also liked seeing his parents there finally, for the second time. I found it sad that at least one wasn't there every week. My mom would be out there every week...just sayin'. Oh and 43 votes for Adam.

Matt did the very fitting "Stayin Alive" which wasn't the best song choice but it went over..pretty well. It sounded like JT doing Stayin Alive for the most part. He only botched a couple falsetto things and the growling kind of actually worked this time around. It was more a funk version, than the straight flowey Bee Gees version. I liked it. 102 votes for Matt...he must stay in longer than Lil and...

Anoop. Was I the only one confused when Ry Ry said, "Dim the Lights" for Anoop and thought Ry Ry hadn't mentioned what song he was singing? I thought the song was dumb and the arrangement/song painfully repetitive. Also, please ditch the creepy stache' yuck! Pink sweater vest= good, moustache= not good.

All in all I thought this was a very enjoyable show! I think I like disco that's not disco. Paula forecasted Adam and Danny in the finals but I have a feeling Allison could be creeping in. At least i hope so. Those two I can really see as viable, current artists making hit records. If i have it my way tomorrow, Lil and Anoop get the boot. Because Matt deserves to stay in longer than those 2. Sure he'll probably leave next week but that's one more week of sweet sweet JT sounding goodness. Did anyone else find it weird that show still ran over slightly even without the interviews and the theme intro? P.S Can't wait for D'Archie tomorrow! I love him...not as much as D. Cook...but close.

My love for NKOTB does not extend THIS far

2009-04-18T19:17:00.003-05:00

In case you couldn't tell, this is someone's tattoo of Joey Mac from NKOTB. Thank goodness I was only 5 when they were popular and not 18 because this could have otherwise been a picture of my ass.

Movie Drama, Idol Style

2009-04-15T22:43:00.002-05:00

Oh Idol watchers...tonight's idol started with a movie trailer and ended somewhat in dramatic movie fashion.

But of course lets start at the beginning. (a very good place to staaarrrt--curse you! Sound of Music trying to make me break out in song all the time!). We saw the Idols in the Ford music video, "Freeze Frame" which is apparently a very popular song (per my fiance) that i have never heard before. It was mildly entertaining and I sort of struggle to remember it now, 5 minutes post end of my Idol viewing. All I wrote down next to "Ford video-Freeze frame" was "Lil has yucky hair again". Every week Lil's frickin hair looks totally cute in the interview package and the music video, but then her performance rolls around and someone slaps her with a branch from the ugliest weave tree. Someone needs to fire that hair stylist and find John Frieda or Vidal Sassoon, somebody like that.

Finally! Finally, the start of good things tonight, a decent group number! This of course can attributed to the fact that we're down to the top 7 so all the singers should be pretty good. So good in fact that the Idol producers let them basically sing "Maniac" as a string of solos and actual group harmonies! Love Allison's hoodie and the way she turned Simon's chair around to face her, not in a seductive way, but a sassy, hey-mr-look-at-me way. Matt sounded money on the chorus which made me sad thinking of his possible elimination. An elimination by the way that I didn't even try to prevent. Not sure if you noticed but I...GASP didn't vote last night! For anyone! No one was saved!!!

Forgot about that agony of that briefly to watch the Idols at the premiere of 17 Again. Loved Leslie Mann looking genuinely excited to meet the Idols. Also love Zac's ability to mimic Chandler's speech patterns.

Ok now for the count down. Allison safe! (Another good thing tonight! And a sign of things to come). Adam-safe (they should stop trying to make this part suspenseful, it never is), Anoop up next. They show an unflattering side view of Anoop (I took this as negative foreshadowing) and after Anoop pressured Ry Ry to get on with it once again bottom 3 for Anoop. Even though Anoop sang really well last night, better than most, his overall ability and performances still aren't as good as everyone elses so I felt this was right.

Anoop hangs tight while the amazing Jennifer Hudson performs. When Jen was on Idol, I admit I wasn't a fan. And I wasn't convinced that the ousting was "fixed" or "premature". Her attitude bothered me and her outfits were all kinds of awful. Even her performance in Dreamgirls I felt was overrated only because Efie's character was basically her playing herself. But now, as a person who purchased her new album and has witnessed her transformation from ghetto to glam, I have to say, I really like her now. Her talent is obvious (always was) and now she seems a lot more soft spoken, confident still but grateful and sweet. She looked really pretty and I have to say, there isn't one bad song on the album.

Next, Kris "my-sister-loves-you" Allen, safe, oh and Simon didn't get a chance last night so he'll tell you now, "you were brilliant".

Lil- Bottom 3 where you belong! Don't look so shocked kiddies! Mama is coming home...soon very soon. [insert evil cackle here]

Danny, safe oh and Randy sticks it to Simon, says he didn't get the chance last night but "you really worked it out". Danny safe and Matt-bottom 3 boooooooo. I knew I should've saved him! (I know what you're thinking but I'm trying to express how I felt when I was watching the show!)

Ok now Anoop safe. Miley performs. She looks pretty, head bangs unnecessarily, smoke is in excess and done.

Simon says he'd maybe save one person and that person would maybe be surprised it was them. My vote is on Matt.

Matt is out. Lil is in (Blast!) Matt sings for his life and I think he sounds pretty good. The judges hopefully aren't fake deliberating this time. I have hope until Paula and Kara start dancing. Matt finishes and the whole place is chanting "save, save, save!" Simon throws the blow that he feels Matt "has no chance of winning" annnnnnnnnd HE IS SAVED!! WHOO-HOOO! Matt cries they all hug and I'm determined to make sure Lil goes home before Matt so I'm saving him next week no matter what!!!

Movie (Ballad) Night Leaves This 'Rose' Thirsty

2009-04-14T20:24:00.003-05:00

I wasn't real pumped for tonight mostly because movie night has never really faired well on Idol. I remember lots of "I Have Nothing" (LaKisha, Katherine, Trenyce...et al) and Jordin Sparks singing a song from Land Before Time. Also not making me excited was the fact that Quentin Tarantino was going to be the mentor. Um yeah he's a really sweet director and everything but I doubt his musical knowledge. Unlike Idol, and EW, I don't think matching cool songs with scenes in movies qualifies someone to give musical performance advice.

Quentin, who from here on out I'll refer to as "Q" gave us the brief explanation of his mentorship saying that, he was there for "the performance" aspect. Thanks for trying to make your appearence relevant but I'm still not convinced.

First up, Allison. "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing". Q says she needs more "oomph", she delivers. I love Allison, I do but tonight was the first time I heard some really bum notes. It was kind of like she got too into it maybe and was thinking more about growling than singing. I loved the way she sang it, if only she would've hit all the notes, then, it would've been money.

Next up Anoop, "Everything I Do I Do It For You"- (Fun tidbit about me, this song holds a special place in my heart because in third grade Andy Lee played this for me on the piano...ahhh young love). I'm kind of bored of Anoop and these slow songs, but this time, I really liked it. He was probably one of the only ones tonight who actually hit all the notes. And I had to agree with Kara, he showed real emotion and it was one of his best performances.

Adam did "Born to Be Wild". Umm all I have to say is CRAZY TOWN complete and total CRAZY TOWN. The lights, the running around, the whole thing was nuts. Adam is on his own wave length here and all we can do is sit back and enjoy the ride. I particularly love Paula's comments: "Dare to dance in the path of greatness" and "Fortune rewards the brave". Did she read that off one of those inspirational signs at Target next to the one that says "Dance like no one's watching"?

Matt- "Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman" in Bryan Adams song #2 for tonight, ugh, so the beginning was great, but then that last part before the very end he got derailed by the growl that ruined Viva La Vida and You Found Me. I did agree with Q's advice on this one that Mattie needed to enounciate more. However, no amount of enounciation could save him from the dastardly growl. I hate to say it but I don't know if I wanna even bother saving him this week! (WHAH?)

Danny bored my pants off with "Endless Love". Yes it was pretty and obviously he was thinking about his wife but really? Endless Love? When I hear this song, it reminds me of Happy Gilmore. There's a reason they used that song in the movie as a joke. It's so corny and dated it was funny for Happy to use it to woo his love interest.

Kris did "Faling Slowly". I love love love this song. I thought Kris sang it really well and I liked how he changed it up a little at the end. My only complaint is that it was too much like the original. I didn't hear the what Randy "perfect pitch" Jackson heard making Kris my second (third if you count Adam, I don't just because he's a give-in fav at this point) fav of the night.

Lil did the "The Rose", another awesome song. (Love me some Bette Midler) I actually really liked what she did with it. She put the R&B spin on the front end and then went gospel at the end which was cool, seemed very her but the judges didn't love it. Simon, who previously prophesized Lil as top 3 material, hated it. I still think Lil is a one trick karaoke pony but i thought for sure Simon would like that!

So even with 2 judge comments, somehow Idol ran over again tonight, cutting off Lil's banter with the judges. Lucky for me, I wised up and taped Fringe so i got to see the rest of it. Unlucky for Lil, she did not do herself any favors. And Paula's quote machine spitting out "Say what you feel, and those who matter won't mind" didn't help either.

Basically this night was a bust for me, I didn't like the movie theme, Q, Paula's Target sign quotes (ok maybe I did enjoy those) and this 2 judge thing didn't do it for me either. Please Idol, find a good theme, an actual musical mentor and figure out how to time so all 4 judges can talk. Or fire Kara and then everything will be cool! haha I kid I kid...sort of.

The Wait is Over-Inspiration aka Scott says Goooo-bye

2009-04-08T23:14:00.002-05:00

Idol and I are officially 2 for 2 these past 2 eliminations. First my arch nemesis Twisty leaves and now King of Lite FM, master of the occasional bum note is also gone! But, I get ahead of myself.

Scott's departure wasn't the only favorable thing about tonight. First, let's hear a round of applause for the return of the live group number! Yaaaaayyyy...sure there's a slew of botched notes. Sure in parts it still sounds like they're all competing to be heard. But now, we can bask in the spontaneousness of those moments and laugh. We can also enjoy the mixed feelings that go with watching Scott attempt the choreography, sing and try not to look stupid when he isn't able to see hardly any of what's happening.

As a person who admits whole heartedly to loving themselves some sweet DVD behind the scenes action, I welcomed the footage of the idols filming their Ford music video with open arms. I loved seeing Matt's showmanship and Kris' attempt at acting. The result seemed some what muted compared to the backstage material but it was entertaining to say the least. Scott wins best line for "None of this is pink right?" when wardrobe handed him his costume.

On to the bottom 3. Once again, first up Adam and once again Adam safe and sound. Sexy Face Kris, also safe. Anoooooop- boo...bottom 3 (I voted 47 times for him! Next week, Anoop gets 100).

I refuse to comment on Flo-rida's bunk performance 1. because no one should sample "Right Round" 2. If you do sample right round you should not use it in such vulgar context 3. This is a family show. Aside from the obvious things that were inappropriate with the song, the women in Flo's "harem" were not exactly what I would call good female role models for the young girls in the audience.

Ok so Danny, safe, Matt safe (whew! Saved him AGAIN!), Allison safe (Saved her TOO!), Lil...dun dun dun bottom 3!!! Where you belong! hah!

Moving on, one of my favorite Idols is back, Tay Tay's new bff Kellie Pickler. Man, i frickin love her. I wish someone would just give her her own show. Her performance wasn't great. Her lower range suffers but you have to love her. The only snippets we saw of the Kellie we remember were when she pointed at Simon right when she started and sort of when she asked if she was done. I wish Ry Ry would've talked to her more. She had me at calamari.

Half my Idol hopes lost when Lil was safe...even though the judges would've clearly saved her (who knows why??). Only 30,000 votes between Scott and Anoop. Anoop has the "oh great" look on his face. (Didn't that happen to him before?) Annnnnnnd...thank goodness, Scott's number is up.

I think the judges should've just told Scottie he was heading home no matter what. Fine he's blind. Fine he's a great musician and he can sing pretty well. However his style doesn't have a shred of anything current and his passion couldn't mask all the bum notes he was hitting every. single. week. Paula's been so good lately at being honest, not sure why she couldn't just pony up this time too? It was ridiculous and continues to be ridiculous that the judges pretend they're using that save for anyone but you know who. (Clue: starts with L and end with il Rounds).

Regardless, I'm happy with tonight's outcome. I think I'll still sitting at the top of the idol pool! I had Scott leaving 2 weeks ago. I'd also like to share that I won 3rd place in the office NCAA tourney pool! A win streak is a foot!

Songs from the Year You Were Born- A lot of the Same

2009-04-07T22:33:00.004-05:00

Ry Ry announced tonight's theme as an "Idol favorite", I prefer to call it the less attractive and more accurate"producer's last ditch favorite". Or we-couldn't-get-a-mentor-so-this-is-what-you're-stuck-with-theme. Anyway you say it, Songs from the year you were born never impresses me, with the exception of Season 7 when D.Cook blew the roof off with Billie Jean. And tonight did not change that much.

Lets start with the beginning, "a very good place to staaaart" ok ok no Sound of Music tonight ladies and gents. I will save it for another tiiiimmme me me me...ok for serious, I'm done. It's late, I apologize.

One thing that changed tonight, we actually got to see the judges' baby pics. Loved how Paula apparently hasn't changed since age 7 and how Simon's pic showed him holding a toy gun. Winner of best baby story of the night goes to Allison. I loved hearing her mom say "When Allison was a baby she talked all the time. I take her to doctor, and say, 'is something wrong with her? and they said, no, she will be a singer!'" Too funny.

In the spirit of D. Cook's perfectly awesome and unique performance of Billie Jean, I think Danny and Kris thought they would try for the same level of amazing. Unfortunately their renditions of "Stand by Me" and "All She Wants to do is Dance" fell flat for me. The best part of "Stand By Me" is the signature beat, dum dum dum da dum dum dum dum da dum...you know w

hat I mean. Instead of that, we got this kind of cool slow intro into cheesy jazz night club mix of the song. I think Danny is great and he performed well but the version of the song was not good for me. Also, in the same way, what I love about All She Wants was lost in a mess of swaybots and acoustic guitar. I don't know if either are capable of being in bottom 3, but I won't be surprised to see one of them down there.

And in the more of the same category we have pretty much everyone else. Let's start with more of the same-BAD. Lil once again, didn't make it over the hump of "singer to artist" (sure I think that one works Kara) and gave us a performance that we'd be whooping and hollering at...IF we were front row at a slammin' karaoke bar. She got excited and botched notes and continued her streak of shouting which = bad news. Please please judges, if it's her time to go tomorrow, LET HER GO! Let. her. go. Scott, I'll give the compliments first. Your hair keeps getting better. Loved seeing you play the guitar (and actually play not just hold it like Allison did). However, your vocal skill could not rise to all the occasions delivered by "The Search i

s Over" and let's face it, as I said before, Scott is only a big bag of Lite FM.

And in the more of the same-GOOD, we have Anooooop! Oh man how glad was I see Anoop? I know it sounds bad especially for how much i hate when people think all Asians look the same but Anoop reminds me so much of Kumar! (aka Kal Penn, aka Lawrence Kutner, pictiured above Anoop) and since Kumar got killed off on House I was feeling pretty down in the dumps. But seeing Anoop in all his friendly, cool glory, I felt slightly comforted. Anoop once again charmed us with his nice tone and genuine interpretation of "True Colors". He put his own spin on the song while still maintaining it melody and he even gave us some pretty awesome falsetto. Next best was Matt, my "Part Time Lover" haha. I've probably said this before but I really really hate that song. I love Stevie and he's a great song writer but something about PTL just rubs me wrong. Anywho, even with that fact in mind, I really loved Matt's performance. In beginning section was totally changed up and it was like part JT, part J. Mraz and I really liked it. (100 votes for Matt b/c you know I love him! MG and MP!) Oh and forgot to mention, 47 votes for Ku--I mean Anoop!

My vote for best of the night, (I know what you're thinking and I'll explain after this) is Allison. I was sad that she picked the totally Idoled out, "I Can't Make You Love Me"(sung previously by Kimberly Locke, Constantine "googly eyes" Maroulis, Haley Scarnato and Carrie Underwood), but she really knocked it out of the park. I loved how her voice seemed to quiver when she got to the word "me" in the chorus and I LOVE love loved towards the end when she did the key change on "No, you won't, no you won't". That my friends is a definite download!

Now for the enraging part of my evening! My DVR betrayed me once again! I know what you're thinking, I should've learned my lesson, always tape what's on after because this show tends to run late. Well I can only tape 2 things at once and we tape 2 other things after Idol. I know! So I missed Adam's entire performance! And I still haven't seen it! I think I might try to find it on youtube. But seriously! WTF?? Why can't they either make the show longer or maybe cut out a certain judge so then we have more time for sing-ing. Just a thought...so that's that kids. Let me know if you saw/liked/loved Adam. Hopefully I'll be able to see it tonight still!

And in the end, things happen as they should

2009-04-01T22:07:00.002-05:00

You know, lately Idol hasn't been so good to me. Some of my favorites have been the the bottom 3 (Allison and Matt), one of my top favs had a bunk performance (Matt), and the judges have been some what lacking/possibly manipulative in their critiques. I had a feeling tonight might be more of that same nonsense so I was prepared mind you, to be thoroughly disappointed yet again by my favorite show. Thank goodness that like all things in the universe, my Idol journey was bound to turn around, and tonight was (hopefully) the beginning of that!

I knew this show was going to be good within the first few minutes for 2 reasons, 1. Paula was wearing a delightful princess dress complete with Barbie sparkly spaghetti straps. 2. Ummm hell-O my season 7 secret lover Mr. Jason Castro sitting right behind Randy "for me for you" Jackson! (Stole that from ew.com, some things are so good, i need to copy them). Also next to him was wrongly early exited contestant Alexis Grace.

Another unexpected thing I found rather pleasing tonight, the group number! The only thing that could've made "Don't Stop Believin" any better would be if Randy were shown in the background "slappin' da bass" (Go see I Love You, Man, you'll get it). Even with the lip syncing and the pre-taping, I enjoyed the sweet solo efforts of Allison, Kris. Danny and Adam.

Speaking of Allison, Kris and Danny, can we please have the idols do impressions of each other every week? How awesome was Matt's spot on impersonation of Danny's "Hero"? I loved Danny doing "Viva la Vida" ala Matt, complete with dance moves. And Allison doing Danny's "Jesus Take the Wheel" was equally humorous. Cherry on top of that sundae was Kris talking about his "sexy face"....YES, indeed!

Ok so when Ry Ry split the kids up into 3 groups: Twisty, Matt and Kris, then Adam, Lil and Allison and last group, Scott danny and Anoop I guessed that following the commercial break Anoop and Kris would switch places, making Anoop's new group, the bottom 3. Well it didn't happen like I predicted but I did have 2 out of 3 correct. Twisty and Anoop, obviously bottom and hopefully Anoop would get the benefit of another week. It was only mildly shocking to see Allison in the bottom since she had been there before and after all the mumbo jumbo about her outfit, people forgot about her great (but not spectacular performance). What i was most happy about was, MY VOTING WORKED!! 110 votes, maybe half an hour, and not for nothing! I saved him! I did it! Oh the taste of success is so sweet! ha ha aha ha! Ok, I'm done.

My other favorite man from season 7 was back again, performing like a pro, I must say. David Cook reminded me of why we love him so much in the first place, besides for his awesome musical skill, his completely humble and gracious manner make me love him 100 times more. Just so you know, right after he got the platinum album, he walked it right down to the audience and gave it to his mom (who was blinged out right?). Total mensch. Oh, love him.

Anywho, Idol went 2 of 2 tonight for performances with the second one by Lady "no pants" Gaga. She is a pop star genius. I love her whole persona. The crazy outfits, the no pants, the crazy energy. She's awesome. Irresistible dance beats, catchy hooks and the lady can really wail!

Now for the best thing about tonight! Awwwww yeaaah! Twisty is out! Twisty. Is. Ouuuuuut! You can caw caw all your way out the door sweetheart. No one is going to miss you! Sure keep smiling and waving like an idiot. It's doesn't matter to me because I won't have to bear witness to it anymore. Did you notice how most of the idols laughed and joked but Twisty was not included in the impersonations? You know it's because no one really likes her so it would've been mean if they made fun of her. Thank you judges for not pretending to even consider saving her stupid butt.

I'm disappointed to hear they're bringing back "Songs from the year you were born" theme but now that Twisty's gone, things can only go up from here. :)

Idol 'Top Downloads' Leaves me Feeling More "down" than "top"

2009-03-31T21:24:00.002-05:00

Alright so I have a confession to make. It's 9:25pm and I just finished voting...for Matt Giraud. I was so upset after last week I promised myself I would come out no matter what and try to single handedly save him. And he better NOT be in bottom 3 this week because I basically sacrificed my motor function in my hands to vote for him! 110 votes! 110! I'm very embarrassed now that I'm looking at it in writing. Sooo...lets move on.

Tonight was pretty lack luster if you ask me. There were 3 great performances, 2 good performances and the rest were all bad bad bad.

Best performance of the night award goes to my secret lover Kris!! Aside from his sparkling good looks (hell-O perfect skin!) and charming nature, the boy can SANG! "Ain't No Sunshine" has been sung by everyone, every which way, except for the way Kris sang it tonight. My favorite part, was the awesome way he changed up the "I know, I know, I know, I KNOW, I know". The beginning was beautifully eerie in a Freddie Mercury-ish way which was total awesomeness. He was hitting very note and his tone was so lovely. He really stayed away from his less attractive gravely tone which was so refreshing. That one will soon be charged to my visa very shortly. 31 votes for Kris.

Next best, Danny. Oh my Danny. Mom, I know you will understand this if no one else will but seriously, I had tears in my eyes during his performance! What Hurts the Most is probably one of the greatest/worst (however you want to look at it) break-up songs ever. Yeah I said it, I'm going with "ever" (even my country hating fiance likes it). And tonight Danny made it into this soulful, beautiful, endearing piece, literally bringing real sadness out from the TV and into my heart! You can say all you want about how Danny's wife's death has been exploited and what not, but regardless, that's the reality of his situation and that's where his emotion is coming from. There's no way you can't see it in his eyes, hear it in his voice and feel it within yourself.

Obviously in the top 3, because basically he's in a league all his own is Adam. I really dislike "Play That Funky Music" as I pretty much dislike most 70's disco but Adam really made it a completely different animal. His vocal abilities really don't compare with anyone else left in the competition. And when he dances, it serves a purpose beyond looking silly. Loved his props to the band, showed he's a talented and humble guy. Once again Kara continues her battle with numbers, siting that it was "like studio 57 in [there]".

Greatest come back goes to Scott. Of course the piano man, would pick a song by The Piano Man, and I guess I was hoping for a different choice but this one really worked. Scott is an amazing piano player. His voice and his style obviously suit the Billy Joel genre. In "Just the Way You Are" Scott showed off a lot of vocal skill, working both his lower and higher range. He didn't always get up to the right note, but he sang as though he was reaching it. And again, like when he did Mandolin Rain, the emotion behind the song carried him through the bum notes. Loved Paula- "I'm proud of you and it has nothing to do with your challenge but everything to do with how you make me forget your challenge". I'm starting to think she goes home and has someone write these comments up for her to practice. Then all she does is try to find an appropriate time to say them. I still think Scott's Lite FM style isn't Idol/pop star material but he is talented and here and there I actually enjoy him.

So after that, you're all wondering, why the heck i voted for Matt when he actually probably fits into the "bad" category for tonight. Simple answer here is, BECAUSE I LOVE HIM! I think he's awesome. I get what he's trying to do even if it isn't working out so hot. If you forgot about his red-hot rendition of "Let's Get it On" please visit youtube and remind yourself people! Sure he sang in the gritty part of voice which isn't very pleasant. Sure he would've sounded better doing Apologize. But he sounds like JT! Like JT. Love it. Vote for him. Please?

In the bad/boring category we have the rest.

Allison, I heart you and you're awesome but "Don't Speak" did you no favors. 29 votes for Allison to try and keep her in the game. She deserves it.

Anoop, your rendition of "Caught Up" was too much like the original. Your slight vocal changes aren't enough to make it your own. Love your MJ style jacket and sorry for Kara's stupid comment about your frat friends daring you to sing.

Lil, I have 2 words for you, Kelly Clarkson. Nuff said. Oh and P.S Your hair always looks so cute in your interview packages, why do you let them put you in some ugg weave/wigs for the show? You lack real emotion when you sing and you shout...a lot.

Twisty, that leaves you. Your lower notes suck so much it makes me put the TV on mute. It sounds like you're gurgling water or something. You have zero control of your voice. Quit referencing your "fans" aka people from votefortheworst.com. No one cares how much fun you have and I'm sure if you do sing Chasing Pavements, you'll find a way to make it suck. Please please people, vote for anyone but Megan! (Side note, apparently someone else is sick of Kara and her artistry this, artistry that, commercial here, commercial there, shouting out "Broken record!" HaH! I wonder if she'll be back next year?)

So that's it people. I'm off to download Kris's performance.